Hopes Of Anna

Chapter Forty-Eight: I...

Pedro gave mother a mild kiss on the cheek. If it wasn't someone that was not my father, I might have liked it a little. Mother's eyes remained on mine, she was waiting for a different reaction that I was not going to give. My mother deserved happiness in her life and she should not be deprived of it just because she had children. Mom and I waved at Pedro as he drove off and went inside. Mom gave me a hug inside the house and stroked my hair gently. It was her own way of saying sorry but she sure did not seem like she cared when she was with Pedro.
'I was so worried about you Anna. I could not sleep ever since you left the house.' But you could go out with Pedro. I did not say it out loud. I just remained quiet but my mother could read me like a book.
'Pedro said it would be better if I just get away from it all.' She added. 'I've been so alone with Andre out shooting the movie but Pedro—
'I get it mom. He's been nice. He's always been.' I forced a smile yet again. For some reasons I thought I should stay with my mother a little before going into my room to take finger-dip just so she would not suspect anything.
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Joy! Simply joy! I smiled at myself then chuckled as I licked and sniffed finger after finger. It would waste me. The drug wasted me in a way that I loved. It did what it always did. It separated me from the world and for very few minutes, kept my mind blank but bright. I stood from the chair I sat on to take my drugs and tried finding my way to my bed. There was no bed. I stood in the middle of the room and everything was rotating around me but it felt normal then I fell. I fell to the floor and hit my head. It hurt. It hurt badly.
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'Anna.' There was a knock on my door. I could hear their voices; my mom and dad's. They sounded so distant but they were near. I stood up from the floor but my head still hurt badly.
'I told you she's in there.' I heard mom say.
'Sure took her long enough.' Dad said them I opened the door. He smiled then hugged me tight. We were in that position for minutes. I was having a very bad headache from my fall.
'Hi Dad.' I said. Dad sat on my bed. I realized I hadn't cleared my table of the remaining finger-dip. I rushed to my table and sat on the powder. Dad looked at me confused then he sighed.
'I'm sure you hate me so much right now.' Said Dad. He must have misinterpreted my want to sit on the table as avoiding him but I could not let him find out about finger-dip.
'I'm just comfortable here.' I said. He did not believe me. Maybe I wouldn't want to be close to my father really. It felt awkward with him. In a few months, if not just one, I would not have him as my father anymore.
'I don't even know what to say.' Dad bent his head down and scoffed. 'I don't want this at all. I can't imagine a life without all of you, even Andre. He's still my son and then you..' His shoulders were vibrating. He was sobbing. I had never really seen my father cry and now he was crying because he was scared of losing me. He loved me. I felt really bad. I wanted to hold him and tell him I love him. I could never want a better father than he. The love he showed me felt more sincere than so many things. I stood from the table and quickly wiped off finger-dip from my dress. I stood in front of Dad unsure of what to do. He took me in his arms and once again hugged me.
'What's that smell?' He asked raising his face full of tears. Smell? It was not finger-dip was it. I quickly moved away from him.
'Anna do you have any...' I would not be surprised if my father knew finger-dip, he was one of those rich men who took the most expensive rarest drugs but he was obviously not an addict or a dealer.
'Oh...crack. Em...some kids in class made me hide it for them in school earlier so I guess it's smell is still em...lingering.' I said. My father would not be able to tell if I wasting because I stammered at times like this normally.
'Stay away from stuffs like that. You're a good kid. Wouldn't like you getting in trouble.' Dad said then drew me close to him.
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          'The mission was successful. I think...We don't exactly know if they fell into the traps we set.' Caldwell said. He had just concluded his mission which was to sneak into the principal's office and text him as K.L. It was a process with a lot of steps and it was actually difficult and our dear "white boy" pulled it off with little to no problems. Caldwell was amazing really and it felt like he was becoming a more and more mature person. Heartbreak fix people after all.
The big event was on Friday, two days from now and it was all that was on my mind yet I had no fear. I used it to take my mind off everything else. We were all going to the place because we knew if only one of us went, there would be no alternative if anything came up.
        'This has been nice though.' Nate said after a short silence. We all nodded.
         'I got to meet you all. Yeah, it has been nice being in this journey.' Ludie said looking at me.
         'Yeah it brought a lot of changes in my life. I think it has made me a better person. Somehow we have influenced ourselves in the best ways.' Caldwell said. His voice sounded sweet and honest. It felt like we were going on a suicide mission. What if we were?