Forever Together :) (Crew boys x female oc) Poly

twenty five =[

TW: Panic attack, insecure, ashamed of yourself

I woke up to quiet rustling around me. Everything was off. I felt gross. I felt messy. I opened my eyes slowly. George and Nick were still asleep next to me. Karl was changing, Clay was in the bathroom because the bathroom light was on. And Alex was crouched next to George and Nick, trying to wake them up

"Good morning, Princess" Clay said as he walked out of the bathroom
"Morning" I mumbled, and he kissed my forehead

I'm spoiled

I went to the bathroom. After using it, I put my hands on the counter, and looked myself in the mirror

I'm lazy. ugly.

"Baby?" I heard Karl knock on the door. I opened it, and he smiled at me. I smiled back

Fake.

"I love you" Karl said, and kissed the top of my head
"I love you too"

He doesn't mean it

I went to my room, and grabbed my clothes. I can't just lay around in their clothes all day. Blue ripped jeans. White crop top.

Still ugly

I went downstairs. The house is messy.

I'm a mess

I spend around 20 minutes cleaning. I hear people coming downstairs
"Hi baby" Clay said, and wrapped his arms around my waist, causing me to flinch. He pulled away and looked me me, hurt "Blake?" I looked away
"I'm gonna make breakfast" I said as an excuse, and walked to the kitchen

Shit

As I was making hash browns George walked in, smiling "Hi Love" he said, as he was walking over to me

I can't do this right now

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I stiffened up, he hugged me for a few seconds, and pulled away "Are you okay?" he asked
"Yeah. Breakfasts almost done" I said, and went back to cooking
"Okay. I'm gonna go get the others" He said, giving me a questioning look, but walked away

George's Pov:
What is going on. I went to the living room, and I was greeted by the rest of the boys "Guys." I said. They all looked at me "Blakley is off" I said
"She flinched" Clay said, looking down slightly
"What?" Nick asked
"I hugged her and she flinched away from me"
"She stiffened under my hold" I said "and she's refusing to make eye contact with me"
"We should just keep an eye on her, yeah?"
"Yes" they all agreed
"She's almost done with breakfast, come on" I said

Blakely's Pov:
I plated everyone's food, and set it down infront of them, and they all gave different variations of 'thank yous'
"Blake, come sit" Clay said, looking at me seriously

I just shook my head, simply, and went upstairs to my room. I'm not in my room often considering I sleep in Clays room on the big bed, so it's messy. I cleaned it up quickly, sat on my bed and scrolled through my phone

Dreamwastaken:
Among us Stream today :)))

Sometimes their streaming upsets me, but I need them to stream tonight. I need to be alone.

~~~~~time skip~~~~~
I heard a knock on my door. Damnit.
"Come in" I said, softly
Nick walked in, and sat next to me on my bed "We're gonna go stream okay?" He said, and grabbed my hand, and I pulled away unintentionally
He furrowed his eyebrows
"Blake. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I'm just tired" I answered
"Blakely" he said
"Can you stop, please. I'm just tired, okay?" I said, sternly
"Okay" he nodded "I love you. We'll be down in around 2 or 3 hours"
"I love you too" I said, and rolled on my side, scrolling through my phone

Nick's Pov:
That hurt. I honestly felt like crying. I walked out, and leaned again the wall, just thinking about what I could've done wrong. She doesn't want me to touch her. What the hell is going on

Blakely's Pov:
I can hear the boys in the living room. They just finished streaming like 10 minutes ago. Thankfully they haven't come in here.

I have laid on my bed staring at my phone for 2 hours

Im a shitty girlfriend
Why do they even love me?
I don't deserve them

Knock knock

Shit-

I wiped the tears off my face "y-yeah?"
The door opened, revealing George "Hi pretty girl" He smiled. He sat next to me "Baby, talk to me. We know somethings wrong, and we wanna help you"
I tried to speak, and my choked back sob escaped me
"Blakely, baby. Okay, I'm right here" He said grabbing my hands, I pulled away
"Stop! Please!" I sobbed out
"Blake, it's okay! I'm right here, I promise" He put his hand against my cheek, and I pushed it away
"No!" I cried out, and back away from him
"Guys!" He yelled
"I'm sorry! Please" I sobbed
"Darling, what's going on" He said

All the boys walked in, and rushed over when they saw what was going on
"Hey, hey, princess" Clay said, getting onto my bed, moving close to me

The way they look at me. They're freaked out. What have I done to them...

"I'm sorry! I can't be here. I ruining you guys" I said. Feeling like I couldn't breathe
"No, you're not. You're everything we need, baby. You need you breathe" Karl said
"You guys do e-everything for me.. I'm fucking useless" I said, still not letting any of them touch me
"You are not useless Blakely" Alex said, pushing my hair behind my ear, and holding my chin "You are the love of my fucking life, and I wouldn't be able to do half the things I'm doing now if I didn't have you. I love you so fucking much Blake. I need you for everything. You are not useless to me, or to these 4 boys, I promise you"

I let out a shaky breath, and he wrapped his arms over my shoulders, and kissed my forehead "I need you Blakely" he said

George wiped the tears off of my cheeks. Alex let go of me, and Clay pulled me onto his lap, my head in his chest "I love you" He said softly
"I love you"

We sat in silence for a few minutes, before I spoke up "I'm sorry" I said, a few tears rolling down my cheek
"Stop saying sorry" Nick said, looking at me with his head on Clays shoulder
"I love you all... so much" I sad
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"I love you more"
"Love you"
"I love you"

A/n:
A sad chapter felt necessary. So here. Lol <3