Fearless ✔️

Chapter 14

"Hey Morgan, it's me again... I'd appreciate if you'd call me back. I still love you-" I take a deep breath knowing I should just stop. He hasn't answered in days. "This is just making me depressed- thanks for coming to our check ins glad to know you care so much about me" I chuckle sarcastically into the phone before hanging up.

God now I'm fucking pissed off. I left the cafeteria and went to the bathroom looking myself in the mirror. I wipe my cheeks shocked that I was actually crying. I mean it made sense I just didn't feel the tears or anything.

Putting some water on my face I shake it off. Patting myself dry with some paper towel. The door opens as I'm throwing it away and in walks Leo. "Hey dude, you good?" He asks flashing me a thumbs up. "Yea- you dating Ivana?" I shout back wanting to change the topic quickly.

It works- always does. "No- I wish" he sighs. "Hey don't change the subject-" damn it he caught on. "You were in the cafeteria on the phone I saw you- then you left upset. Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?" He continues as I recheck myself in the mirror fixing my orange beanie.

"Nah I'm all good- nothing happened I'm just irritated with someone" I assure him and he nods. I start for the door and he follows by my side. Great. If Ivana watches us walk in together she's gonna go psycho on me.

We walked through the doors and I check my phone again hoping. Was it bad to hope? I felt like I was pretty good at noticing things and taking the hint. So I really couldn't understand. I did think he loved me. He even let me call him dad when I was younger.

I remember all the times I begged him to fix me. He would always assure me with tears in his eyes of how perfect I was. What changed? Maybe I'm to much for him and he doesn't think I'm perfect anymore. That's sad. I turn to leave feeling the need to cry.

"Dean?" Leo asks but I shake my head. "Just go have lunch" I sigh and he gives me an unsure look but nods. I wanted to be scared of losing him. I wanted to be terrified of never seeing him again. I want to be scared! All I feel is... I don't even know. I don't even handle my sadness properly.

My dumbass just goes oh that's sad. Oh that's depressing! I'm broken I'm a fucking mess! I went back to the bathroom and put my hands on the bathroom counter staring at my red eyes.

Taking a deep breath I stand up straight. No relationships. No friendships. No attachments. This is what happens... they all leave. I wonder if he was happy to get rid of me.

"Be scared!" I whisper-shout pulling at my hair. "You got used! You were lied to! You lost him! It's your fault!" I continue to whisper at myself, but I got nothing no sense of dread or guilt. No shock or fear. Just a hint of disappointment.

The only reason I was sad was because of the fact that I couldn't feel anything correctly at the moment. I just give up and watch myself silently cry in the mirror.

The door opens and I could care less. I just kind of wait for them to show themselves and stare at me awkwardly before they either leave or finish their business.

I roll my eyes when a perfect brown haired boy peeks his head in. Once he sees it's me he leaves again. I watch confused but listen to the lock of the door.

"You okay doll face?" He coos taking my face in his hand. His thumbs rub over some of my tears and I shrug. "Anything you want to talk about?" He questions. I shrug again. "Nah- I'm good" I answer simply. He sighs pulling me close to him.

"Did somebody do this to you?" He pries as I continue to shake my head. Me! I did it to me! "That's good" he sighs putting his head on my shoulder. "How'd you know I was in here- stalker" I mumble making him chuckle.

"Leo told me" he answers fast. He starts to push me back and I stumble before hitting the counter top. With a chuckle he's lifting me and I roll my eyes but help him set me onto the counter.

Lloyd goes in between my legs and goes back to wiping my tears. "Why is it that you still look beautiful and handsome when you cry?" He asks holding my legs.

"God you just want to fuck me" I chuckle looking the other way. "Doll, I'm worried- it's my fault for not knowing how to help" he whispers making me look back at him.

I needed the distraction anyways. "I'll ask one more time- do you want to talk about anything at all?" He asks and I huff leaning forward and putting my chin on his shoulder. He felt nice. I enjoyed the embrace.

"No thanks lover boy" I mumble kissing his neck. He hums and moves away. "You make sure you tell me if you want to talk about anything?" He chuckles taking my beanie off.

I huff mad he moved away and that he took my beanie. "I won't" I answer with a smile and he sighs putting a hand in my hair. I close my eyes and put my head on his chest letting him massage my scalp.

Lloyd jumps when the door rattles from somebody trying to get in. Every time. Guess we should stop locking ourselves in bathrooms. They eventually left it alone and the boy in front of me sighs kissing my chin.

"Got scared- it would look bad if somebody came in with you on the counter crying and me in front of you" he chuckles. "Oh? Yeah I guess that would be scary?" I made it seem more like a question trying to comphrend it.

"Are you not scared to be caught like this?" He asks with a smirk. I shook my head wrapping my legs around him as I pull him closer. "What do you want?" He hums putting his hands on my sides.

"I don't know, I feel better so now I'm just bored" I shrug getting looked over. He's so judging me right now. Annoying. "You sure seem to deal with emotions weird" he chuckles putting his face into my neck.

"Gee thanks" I look up. "You're missing lunch aren't you hungry?" I ask looking over at my beanie on the counter. "Yeah I'll eat something later, I want to make sure the person I care about is okay- plus I want alone time with you" he whispers the last part.

"Your friends will worry" I sigh putting my arms over his shoulders. "They're your friends too" he reminds me and I have to hold in my eye roll. "I'm not to sure about that- especially Ivana" I groan putting my head on his shoulder.

"She's pry just worried- she doesn't want anybody ruining our friend group" he sighs. "Well I can solve that. I just won't be in your friend group" I shrug it off.

"Why? I want to be your friend- I want to be your boyfriend..." he trails off and I bite my lip trying to think. I didn't know what I wanted. "Jules likes me too- I don't feel like ruining your relationship- it would be exhausting to deal with" I explain watching the way his eyebrows furrowed and then dropped as he now tried to think.

I studied his face and his one freckle he had above his eyebrow that I just loved. Putting my hand through his shaggy brown hair. I sigh giving in and kissing him passionately. He kisses back slowly pulling away. "Why?!" He asks and I smile studying his face again.

"You're just really hot" I mumble and he sighs with a smile. "I love Jules she's been my friend for... well forever. I don't know what to do- I'm just so drawn to you. It kills me seeing you in class everyday. The way you're so relaxed or when you bite your lip when you try to think. Don't even get me started on the way your back arches when you yawn" he presses a hand on my back as he says it.

I smile at him and give him another kiss. "Not lover boy actually paying attention to me" I mumble wanting him all to myself. "Something about you... which is also why I don't want you to cry- talk to me. I'll listen" he goes back to my little episode. "So sweet of you, but I'm okay. Now let me kiss you" I hum staring at his lips the whole time.

He chuckles and presses his lips against mine as we both aggressively make out with each other.

Damn it I have feelings for him.