Fearless ✔️

Chapter 40

"Thanks for letting him come over" I smile as Brendon walks back into the living room. He sits by me ruffling the heads of the twins who were sucked into the tv.

"Can I ask you and Minnie something- before he gets here?" I add before he could even say anything. "Of course- hey love!" He stands shouting for her down the hallway. She comes out a minute later with a big smile.

"What's up my darlings?" She asked. Brendon just pointed to the couch. She took Brendon's previous spot kisisng all of us on the head the babies gurgled and reach to kiss their mother back and she happily let them.

Dad sat next to her his arm around her waist. "So I'm just going to say it-" I look to them and their reaction my hands being played with by the babies- well little ones. Are they considered babies still? Yes I think so.

I still haven't told them about the mall incident. I don't think I ever will. "My group of friends wants to do something for winter break. Go to a resort. I know with the whole stalker- birth dad thing I probably shouldn't, but it's Jules's parents resort so at least one of them will be there. It's like two hours away but we'll all be together" I try to make it sound better all while trying to be honest.

Minnie sucks in a breath as she rubs her arm. "You probably shouldn't- you said it's two hours away?" She asks again and looks to Brendon. "If you think about it might be better. You'll be farther away and your father might think you went away if he doesn't see you for a while" she admits.

"Can we not call him my father... or dad" I ask not wanting to remind myself of those times. "Of course sweetie" she smiles before looking to Brendon. "Does that make sense? What I'm saying?" She asked and he nodded. "I think you should do it, but don't have them pick you up here- spend the night with someone the night before or something like that!" Brendon adds and I nod smiling.

"Okay! Thank you!" I smile wide hugging the children on me. My legs bounced, bouncing them in the process. Marie stood and grabbed my shirt as I bounced her. And Zack just giggled, falling onto his back.

I couldn't help it and squeezed them both in hugs getting squeals. Both wiggle off of me and slide onto the floor. Marie stood reaching for me and Zack used the couch to hold him up.

"You wanna play?" I ask getting jumps from Zack as Marie nodded. "Pwease!" Marie begs. I nod standing from the couch. I let the two slowly waddle their way into their room. Giving up a few times and resorting to crawling.

Opening the chest I pull out something with them and we quickly engaged in a game of make believe.

I chased them with an evil foam block with the letter A on it. I eventually got beat when I was stabbed with a set of plastic keys. I know a very horrible death.

Laying on the floor I let the toddlers jump on me giggling as I'm swatted. I grunt with every hit my body flinching as I die again. "Up?" Zack asks and I open an eye but quickly close it making them laugh.

"Up!" "Up!" They both took turns yelling and pressing on my chest. Zack crawls on top of me and sits staring at my face intently. Leaning forward he kisses my cheek and giggles. "Aw gud!" He cheers clapping and I open my eyes making Marie clap to as she stumbles over.

"I hep" she calls and kisses my other cheek. I chuckle kissing them both back. "You guys make me so so happy!" I coo getting happy gurgles in response.

Their curly blonde hair was in their eyes and they both hurried to wipe it out of the way as I kissed their heads again. I smiled at them only moving when I heard a knock at the door. Standing the two run clumsily for the door getting stopped by their cautious parents.

Brendon scooped them both up and that just led into more giggle fits. Minnie carefully opens the door "Hello Lloyd!" She smiles opening the door completely as she recognizes him.

"Hello Minnie" he nods her way his eyes sweeping the room. I give him a smile getting one in return. "We won't keep you- it's obvious... our son here has missed you a lot" Brendon chuckles as I send him a glare.

"Nice to see you as well then" he nods to Brendon closing the door. I grab his hand and pull him with me towards my room. As soon as we're in my room I close the door shoving him against it.

My hands go to his cheeks as I force my lips onto his. He immediately kisses back his arm holding the arch in my back. "I love you" I breathe out overusing the words Becasue I loved to say them.

"Mmm I love you too" he chuckles letting me kiss him again before he can say anything else. My hands went up his arms feeling him. I missed him. I missed him so much.

Pulling away I smile letting his fingers fall from my back. I go to the bed grabbing the tv remote while he takes his shoes off. Ultimately jumping on me. I groan, but wrap my arms around him rubbing his back.

"How is my doll feeling?" He asked rolling off and onto his side so we were face to face. "Mmm I'm good- they said yes to winter break!" I cheer.

"I'm so glad- you deserve some relaxation and a break. Not to mention I can't wait for all the alone time I get with you" he hums his hands gripping my waist tighter. "Are you trying to fuck me Lloyd?" I ask playfully getting a sweet kiss.

"Cuddles too- memories. Everything with you, but listening to you cry and watching those tears stream down your face always gets me excited" he whispers into my neck.

"Lloyd- don't turn me on right now" I practically moan squeezing him tightly. "Yes my doll" he adds and I nod turning to push him on his back. "What are you doing?" I stayed quiet shifting to lay on top of him. Resting my head on his chest, my legs entangled with his.

"How is my lover boy feeling?" I return the question rubbing my hand up and down his chest. "To be honest I've been a little stressed. Overthinking and scared for you... with this whole stalker situation. I'm worried about you is all, but right now I'm just happy that I'm here with you" he admits as I look up at him with a soft smile.

"It'll be okay- I know I should be terrified there's literally a criminal stalking me but you know... I'm sure he'll be caught and nobody will have to be scared for me anymore." I attempt to make him feel better.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" He quickly asks and I cock my head to the side confused. "Well of course I want to talk about things" I hum kissing his chin.

"No my doll- do you want to talk about things... things that are weighing you down? Stressing you out? Things you want to get off your chest?" He words it differently for me and I sit up a bit. My elbows on his chest.

His hands go to my waist holding me down. "I love you. I think I'm okay though. I can't really think about anything I would want to talk about?" I explain watching his face stare me over curiously.

"My mom wanted a girl. She thought a boy would be too hard to deal with. So as soon as she found out I was a boy she began her attempts at killing me. Never professionally just by all the alcohol and drugs." I start to explain watching his face drop.

"My dad was excited for me. He wanted me to be some strong fearless boy. I was weak. I cried. I cried so much. And every time I cried I was beaten and insulted which made me cry more and caused me to always be afraid. As I grew up I realized that if I didn't cry or fear him I wouldn't get beat which is where my condition came in" I explain resting my head again to stare at the wall.

His hand went to my head brushing over my hair as his other went to my back. "You're so strong and brave. I hope you know that" he murmurs kissing the top of my head.

"And I love you too by the way" he mumbles squeezing me tighter. "I wish I could understand it all better" I whisper sighing to myself. "What?" He stays simple. "Me I guess" I chuckle getting a huff.

"You're right you're pretty weird" he jokes making me smile.

Seriously... I wish I understand me. My problems. My illness.