Fearless ✔️

Chapter 32

"Why is everybody extra loud today" I complain sitting down. I lay the crutches that I was hardly using now on the floor and get in my bag grabbing the stuff I'm supposedly suppose to need even though we don't do shit in this class.

"They have a date for the autumn dance which is surprisingly later than usual" he answers looking through his phone. "Oh- so that means people are going to be extra annoying" I mumble looking over at him.

"Yeah- people don't seem to understand that I'm gay, so I get asked by a lot of girls. Hardly any boys ask me though." He complains as I nod even though I didn't understand.

"Yeah I've never gone to a dance in my life- seems kinda stupid" I admit as his eyes widen. "You've never been to a dance!? I mean sure sometimes they're lame, but our school has fucking awesome dances. Hardly any supervision because they believe that we should be responsible enough living our lives or something" he laughs and I chuckle putting my cheek on my hand.

"So what you're saying is I could fuck a lot of people, since there's no adults?" I tease making him narrow his eyes. "If I've got to fuck you all night to make sure you stay away from the others I will" he taunts leaning closer to me as we both smile our lips not very far apart.

"Excuse me?" A girls voice interrupts and he groans, but turns around with a smile. "What's up?" He asks popping the p, as I watch as well. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me. I find you really attractive and you're really nice- ya know being friends with Darcy and all. I know it's soon but I wanted to ask you before the others did" she mumbles playing with her shirt.

"I'm right here ya know" I snap and she nods looking down. "His name is Dean and I'm gay- thank you for the offer, but my answer is no" he answers and she nods before looking at me.

"Sorry I thought you were just messing around with the whole gay thing. Also sorry Dean" she apologizes and I nod. "Yeah whatever" I scoff knowing she was just trying to stay on Lloyd's good side.

I look to our teacher who was fast asleep as the girl retreated to her group of friends. "That's gotta be a new record that was so fast" he chuckles and I huff hating this school. I can't wait to be out of this shit hole. I can't wait to live alone.

Stop no. Dylan said to imagine a life with people in it. It will stop me from snapping so often hopefully keep me from losing any emotions for periods of times.

I can't wait to get out of highschool. Stay with the the two adults that make me happy and watch Marie and Zackery grow up.

Possibly movie in with Lloyd in the future. God I'm getting to ahead of myself. He wouldn't want to do that. We're some high school romance that will end in flames. We'll have sex he'll get bored and we probably won't even date.

I would be better off by myself. My thoughts hurt me so I just stop thinking before I unintentionally turn something off. Lloyd was on his phone his other hand slipping down to my thigh.

I look around all the talking and giggling hurting my brain. They're so annoying. I want them to shut up. Ugh. Why am I getting angry?

I need to calm myself down. Taking another look at our passed out teacher. I stand using the desk to hold me up getting a bewildered look from Lloyd. He scoots out from the desk which was perfect for me.

I'm bored and don't give a crap what others think. He can tell me to get off if he wants. I sit on his lap surprising him as he stares at me bewildered.

"We're in school!" He whispers as I shrug. "I don't really care." I mumble and he sighs but goes back to his phone. "You know, when you sigh like that it makes me feel like shit" I answer honestly feeling like I was going to cry.

"I'm not sighing because of you... I guess you just surprise me sometimes. I don't care what they think either." He answers and I shrug staring at the wall in front of me.

I really don't want to like keep living anymore and it sucks. "Dean" he hums putting his phone down. "What?" I ask continuing to look forward.

"Wanna make sure you're okay, not embarrassed or anything?" He asked rubbing my thigh. "To be embarrassed you would need to be scared and I ca- and I'm not" I correct myself.

"Okay... are you okay?" He asked and I nod. "Peachy" I mutter. "Okay let's go" he huffs starting to stand I stand with him holding myself up with my desk.

"Where are we going?" I ask with an attitude. "Bathroom" he mutters and I roll my eyes. "Don't give me an attitude. Doll I'll do what I have to do here or we can go somewhere private" he whispers in my ear his voice low and serious.

It was hot. "Fine" I huff. He starts to walk and I ditch the crutches slowly walking after him. He goes in and comes back out opening the door for me. When he closes the door he locks it and looks me over.

"You didn't bring your crutches?" He asked and I shrugged. "It's fine. I'm probably just strengthening my legs" I mutter his hand going to my back. He leads me to the counter and puts his hands on my hips lifting me onto it.

"Are you horny? Do you need me to suck your dick?" I sigh getting an eye roll from him. "Dean I swear to fucking god I don't want you to just satisfy me. I want to make sure you're okay... I want to make sure you're happy" I'm fairly surprised by these words.

He went in between my legs hugging me. I hugged him back and just cried. I didn't know why I was crying. I think I snapped I don't even know I should probably call Minnie. 

"Doll face- what's wrong, let me help" he whispers wiping my tears as I stared at him the tears still streaming down my face. "I don't know- I just have problems" I cry some more.

"You're perfect. I don't care about the problems you think you may have. They aren't problems." He tries to make me feel better kissing my cheeks.

"I just have things wrong with me that make me super emotional or not emotional at all and for some reason I'm just super irritated" I cry putting my face into his neck. He nods rubbing my back.

"Mmm well either way I'm not going to let us leave until you're better" he assures me taking my beanie off of my head. I huff but let it happen. His hand goes through my hair massaging it.

I think I do love him. God I hate this. "Dean if we go back to class you can sit on my lap. I don't care. I don't know why I sighed I guess I'm not use to it but I want to be with you and only you" he admits and I nod wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry" I apologize since I made him come here and do this. "Don't do that- don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about" he whispers holding my hand.

I'm going to text Minnie. I want to go home. Wrapping my legs around Lloyd I look up at him with hopeful eyes. Maybe I did want to be with him. I know I did but I can't burden him with my problems.

"You feeling better?" He asked and I nodded putting my head on his chest. "That's good" he whispers moving away to put his hands on my cheeks. I'm pulled up to look at him and he smiles giving me a peck.

"I can't wait to know everything, be able to help. Just be there for you" he hums kissing me again. I nodded wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't know what to do with my life or how I feel- I want you though... and I feel things but then I'm not sure what I feel" I attempt to explain and he nods continuing to wipe my cheeks as somebody tries the door.

Lloyd looks back before looking at me again and smiling. "I feel things for you too, many things" he whispers. I kiss him passionately not caring about how I felt at the moment. I just wanted to love him.

"Dean... you're wonderful" he chuckles kissing me again. "My lover boy... you're literally amazing and I would definitely be struggling without you" I whisper rubbing my thumb over his cheek.

He smiles and leans into the warmth of my hand.

Oh how I pray that this is love.