Fearless ✔️

Chapter 62

"I've packed everything!" Jules claps excitement in her voice as she opens the side of her car. She grabs a basket and Jules leans over grabbing a few blankets and a pillow. "Anything else?" Ivana asked looking into the car. "More pillows and the little cooler?" Jules asks. Ivana picks it up and Taylor hurries to put a pillow over the cooler as well.

Leo grabs a pillow and hurries to shut the car door before we all started to walk up towards the football field. "Are we really letting all the girls carry everything?" Lloyd asked and I nodded with a laugh. "Taylor will kick our asses if we even lift a pencil" I remind him and he nods knowing I'm right.

"Ivana will kick Leo's ass if she's not constantly babying him" I tease Leo who sends me a glare. "That's not true!" He grumbles and I raise an eyebrow amused. Scoffing he hurries over to Ivana. "Ivana do you want me to carry this for you?" He asked as we started for the hill.

"Thank you baby, but I got this you go talk" she coos to him. He pouts and looks back getting laughs from us. I walked up the hill with no problems and smiled at Lloyd who did the same.

We've had this planned for a bit none. It's our last week of school, so we decide to come up here for a night picnic. The sun was setting and there was a slight breeze, making it perfect.

I helped Taylor spread the big blanket out and Jules sets the basket in the middle the cooler next to it. The bubbly blonde opens her basket and pulls out a computer setting it up in front of us.

"What kind of movie?" She asked laying on her stomach as she went to Netflix. "Let's watch a series- scary!" Ivana chuckles putting her hands together. "You saying that makes me think you already have an idea in mind" Lloyd laughs and she nods.

"The Haunting of Bly Manor" she states and Jules quickly searches it up. We all got comfortable and I kicked my slides off putting them on the grass. Taylor takes something from the cooler and then points towards the blankets. "Don't forget if you get cold we got a few pillows and a bunch of blankets.

I open the cooler and look over the components before going back to Lloyd. "Do you want something to drink?" I ask and he looks up to think. "Is there Dr Pepper?" He asked and I nodded. "Are you getting one?" He continues to question me and I nod again giving him a weird stare.

"I'd like a water then" he chuckles and I roll my eyes. "I'll just drink some of yours if I want some" he gives me a cheesy smile and I huff but go over grabbing myself a Dr Pepper and him a water.

Taylor laid on her stomach watching the show as Jules got up to explained what she had brought to eat. Ivana held Leo with her arm as he looked away flustered. When Jules finished she sat next to Taylor on her stomach pointing something out that had happened.

"Are you hungry?" I ask as he takes a drink of his water. I sit in front of him on my knees and he sits up some more making me drink from his water botttle. My face goes red, but I force myself to drink it anyways.

"Not very. Would you share something with me?" He asked and I nodded. "Do you want a sandwich?" I ask and he just shrugs. "We both like ham. Get one of those" he smiles at me and I nod watching him screw the water bottle cap back on.

Going back over to the basket I grab a bagged sandwich and make my trek back over to Lloyd. Sitting down I hand him the bag and he smiles kissing my cheek. "You're so cute" he whispers making me remember my lunch with Dylan's family last week. I was going to see if he liked it... I'm scared though.

He takes a bite of his sandwich and then puts it in front of me. I lean forward and take a bite knowing it pleased him that he was feeding me. He has a smug look on his face and I chewed a little embarrassed.

He took another bite and I mumbled to myself scooting in to bury my head in his neck. He chuckles rubbing my back. "Is my doll embarrassed?" He keeps it quiet and I nodded looking up at him.

He gives me another bite and I take it before moving out of his grip to take a drink of my Dr Pepper. Just as I had screwed the lid back on my phone buzzes and I silently curse. I had turned the buzzing off, but after talking with my therapist we thought I could overcome it better if I got use to it again.

I close my eyes and grip my arms willing myself to reach for it and just read a simple text. It doesn't work. I can't do it. Shaking I go back to Lloyd and hug him. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asks rubbing my back. "Can you check my phone please?" I mumble and he nods grabbing it from my back pocket.

"I'm sorry- I thought I could do it" I apologize as he looks at my phone. "Minnie said the twins are going to bed, so she sent you a picture of them" I look over and check out the picture which involved the toddlers cuddled up together on my bed.

"Can you text her for me please" I ask my boyfriend who smiles and kisses my head. "An-anything- shit. Anything for you" he reminds me. "What do you want me to say?" He continues and I bit my cheek. "Just tell her goodnight and I'll be home to cuddle with them soon" I tell him and he hurries to type it in, my arms not giving him any slack.

He sets my phone down after and grabs the sandwich off of the bag giving me another bite. Taking the last bite for himself, he smiles at me before pursing his lips. I meet him halfway and kiss his sweet lips.

"Now let's pay attention" he hums and I nod. "Leo pass me a pillow" Lloyd calls and the boy stops watching the show to reach forward and throw us a pillow. Lloyd catches it and puts it on the blanket before laying down on his side. I watch patiently and he smiles reaching for me.

I lay down on the blanket my back to him. His arm wraps around my torso and my head rests on his chest. My phone buzzes again and I could feel my heart racing. Lloyd shoots up and grabs it before putting it in front of my face.

'I love you! See you soon! Have fun!'

It was from Minnie. "Do you think it would be easier if we turned the vibration off?" He asked and I gripped the arm that was resting on my stomach. "My therapist and I talked about it and we thought the best way I would get over it was getting use to it again" I tell him trying to be quiet.

"Okay- I'll try to help as much as possible" he hums. His hand creeps under my shirt and starts to rub my stomach as I cuddle back into his warmth. I should be the one comforting him. He went through so much more than me.

Turning in his grip he looks down at me as I rub his shoulder. "Are you okay?" I whisper and he nods. "Like... mentally? Are you okay? Do you get scared? Triggers- anything that I can help with?" I ask looking at him desperately.

"I have nightmares. Pain every once in a while but I really just try to forget" he admits moving a hand to straighten my beanie out. I just continued to look at him hoping I could do something to make him feel better in some way.

"On Friday... do you want to spend the night at my house?" I ask hesitant as fuck. "I'd love that" he smiles leaning in for a small peck. "I love you" I whisper cupping his cheek his hand going back in my shirt.

He holds my back and kisses me again. "I love you" he whispers it back and I rest my forehead on his. There's a scream from the show and I jump hurrying to cover my mouth with my hand. It reminded me of my own screams.

Lloyd had jumped too, his arm tightening around me. I could feel his heart beating out of his chest against me as I looked forward my eyes wide. "Are you okay?" I ask rubbing his cheek and he nods closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I'm okay just startled me" he chuckles and I nod taking a few deep breaths myself. "Yo ivana!" Jules yells siting up and I turn to look at her. Ivana parts from Leo smiling wide.

"Wassup giggles?" She smiles. "Did you pick this because the couple is lesbian?" She sighs as Ivana shrugs. "Listen it's just a bonus" that makes her laugh as Leo pouts to himself.

"I have no idea what's going on in the show"

"Shhhh just pretend you do"