Immersion Totale Dans Mon Monde

Just A Mess

Is it weird to say that I kinda miss lockdown?
I mean, this containment vibe with TikTok full of people making coffees, this indie vibe that lasted about 3 weeks, those fucking great songs that give me chill now...
How can I say that I miss those days, when I was working my ass off, but also enjoying my life like never before?
That amount of time spent watching Netflix series and tanning under the warm sun of March...
All those ice creams eaten while the world was in stand-by!
Will the next generation have any idea of what it was like to live that time?
I'm now laying in my bed, lockdown was 3 years ago today, here in France, and I feel like I miss something in my life, that I've been given when all this happened...
Camping in my back yard during vacation cause we weren't allowed to move anywhere, an ants colony that invaded my tent while I was asleep in the fresh morning, the sing of birds at dawn, the vibration of construction work near my place...
No more planes flying over my house, no more cars in the streets, no more noise around, just sun, warmth, homework and free time to spend on TikTok discovering how people were living this unique experience!
Today's situation has nothing to deal with what we were going through at that time... We can now put our masks off, and are free to go anywhere! Covid seems to not exist anymore since WWIII began, and I'm now applying for college.
It is no more about enjoying, but more about surviving...
I feel like this dark side of mine is gaining the upper hand, again, without even letting me the chance to avoid it. Cause now my future's in front of my eyes, and it's up to me to decide what to do, where to go, full of fear and hope to get accepted...
How can everything have changed as much as it did?
Damn...