Before it's too late

NOW-2

NOW

Saoirse couldn't think, not that she wanted to. She wanted to sleep, but sleep never came. She wanted her brain to stop thinking all together, she wanted her mind to shut down for the night, but her mind kept drifting towards Trevor. She lay awake staring at the ceiling running everything over in her head. She had been up for 52 hours now and should have been exhausted. Her brain should not have been able to think of anything besides soft beds and pillows. Yet, the abduction of Trevor was the only thing her mind kept replaying.

She had called the police after leaving Trevor's smashed up car. She knew that once Trevor saw his car he would know that she did it, that she smashed up his pride and joy. She didn't regret it, well not until she drove away in her car and it all sunk in, then she realized her actions were stupid. It felt good in that moment, but it was stupid. She turned herself in so she wouldn't be bombarded at work or when she was actually trying to sleep. Her mind drifted back to that night, the last night she saw Trevor. Even thinking about him made her heart race with pain.

"I'm sorry, that doesn't... let me get this straight... You mean to tell me that you smashed your boyfriends car-"

"Ex-boyfriend," Saoirse clarified.

"Right, you smashed your ex-boyfriends car and now you are reporting yourself?"

"Yeah, is there something I need to do, a report I need to fill out, or something?"

"Girl you crazy," the woman on the other end of the line laughed. "I'm going to transfer your call, just a moment."

Saoirse hadn't been back to his apartment since that night, there was no need to. So it was just that night of rage, she had to clear the fog of emotions and think back to that awful night. She thought back to when she grasped the 9 iron in her hand. Did she see anything? Did she hear anyone?

Saoirse sat up straight, quite fast, startling her dog who lay on her opposing pillow. She didn't know when he was taken. She didn't know if he was taken from his home. She didn't know if he was just lost on a camping trip. She didn't know all the information. How was she supposed to help them when the police didn't know much more than her, or at least were not revealing all they knew to her? There was nothing she could do, and his abduction, if it even was an abduction, wasn't her fault. She felt a bit of peace knowing that it wasn't her fault. She tried to relax as she lay back down and closed her eyes, but sleep didn't come.

Work was drab and dull as Saoirse stitched up a few kids that got into a fight. But then a patient came in with a wound from a cat bite and Saoirse squeezed the puss out his fingers. The patient's hand could barely move when she removed the bandage. With one simple touch puss started to ooze out and the patient cried out in pain, but that was mainly because he was disgusted by what was coming out of him. A local anesthetic was given and Saoirse went to town pushing out and flushing out the gunk. After that it was basically nothing out of the ordinary. It had been a few hours of rest and she was ready to work, she was ready to get her mind off of Trevor, but she couldn't. So she checked cold cases in the morgue, recent John Does' just in case, but luckily she didn't find any trace of Trevor. Maybe the officers were wrong and he was fine and just blowing off some stream. He did like to go camping, maybe he went camping and just forgot to tell anyone. That was another thing Saoirse hated about him, he would leave for days at a time and when he got back acted as though nothing was wrong. Like the time he left for a weekend getaway with the boys for some hunting and fishing without telling her. But the Detective said it had been over a week and he hadn't been heard from. He liked camping, but he liked his steamy shower more. Her hopefulness disappeared just as quickly as it came.

"Greer, what are you doing here?" a tall, thin, dark haired, porcelain skinned woman asked as she approached the trauma unit.

"Hey K," Saoirse said mindless, she wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"Didn't you just get off a 48 hour shift?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine, I wanted the work." Karolina raised a skeptical brow. "I'm fine Karolina, honest." Karolina opened her mouth to object, but her pager went off. "Go, save someone's life," Saoirse called as Karolina turned towards the doors to leave.

Saoirse choked down a coffee and made her way to the locker room. At her lunch break she pulled out her wallet from her locker and removed the Detective's card that was given to her the night before. They would call her and she would answer, but she didn't know what to say when they did. She added his number to her contacts so she would know who it was if he called. She wanted answers and she really wanted to know when Trevor went missing. Was it right after she saw him? Or three days later? She couldn't help but think that she needed an alibi, just in case. She tried to marked down everything she did every day since then. Most days she was at work, working for hours on end. Especially after the break up, she never wanted to leave work. Hundreds of people saw her every day at work, but what about her day off when all she did was catch up on television and sleep? What if he was taken on that day? She wouldn't have an alibi. She was a hermit barely moving from her couch those days. Her breathing heavied and she started to hyperventilate. What if I'm a suspect? She questioned herself. What if they charge me for his... she really couldn't breathe. She fell to the floor clutching at her stomach, panting.