My Understandings [ON HOLD/EDITING]

My Understandings: Part 3

It seemed like a normal day. Alan and I were walking to my house from our bus stop like we do everyday. It was freezing cold outside and the February air was killing me. I felt bad for Alan though. Me being stupid, I forgot to bring my coat to school so Alan gave me his.

Thankfully we were close to my house so Alan could warm up soon. We said nothing during the walk to my house. It was too cold to even speak. Alan was shivering next to me and we decided to try and share the coat. The whole walk home consisted of us huddling together trying to keep warm.

When we reached my house Alan had realized he lost his flash drive with his science project on it. 

"I gotta go find it. Give me my coat and I'll go get it then come back!" He shouts, freezing. I hand him his coat and begin up my stairs.

"My dad's gone so we can hang out for awhile if you do come back." I offer. He turns around and smiles at me.

"I'll be back!" He shouts to me as he walks away. He did come back. And thank god he did.

I walk up my front steps and walk into my house. The warm air soothes my skin as I slide my back pack to the floor.

"FUCK YOU!" I hear him shout as I'm knocked to the floor. My dad's home...

"Because of me having to drive your lazy ass to school, I was late for work and LOST MY FUCKING JOB!" He kicks my face harder than he ever has before. "I'll fucking KILL YOU!" Two things shoot through my body. Pain, and sheer terror. I knew this was serious and this time is was scarier than before. By the burning look in his eyes I knew one thing for sure, he actually wanted me dead. He shot me a look so evil it was terrifying to rip from it. I knew this was it, he was going to kill me. My father, was going to kill me.

My dad got down on his knees and grabbed the collar of my shirt as he began to punch my face over, and over, and over... Then he started punching me everywhere else. Back, neck, stomach, arms, legs, you name it. He punched me everywhere and I already felt the life draining out of my body. My vision starts to blur as he continues to kick my chest.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" He screams with every kick or punch he makes. He repeated it over and over. I knew this was my time. I was going to die.

WHACK! All of the sudden I feel no more punches. Am I dead? I open my eyes and realize I'm still laying of the floor. My vision is blurred but I'm pretty sure I see my dad laying on the floor out cold. I see a blur of ginger hair pick me up and carry me outside as my vision fades and I close my eyes...

....

I shoot up out of my bed breathing fast. Ever since the night Austin came over, which was a week ago, I've been having the same dream about the day Alan saved me from my dad. I realize that it was just a dream and sink back into my covers to grab my phone. I check the time and it reads 12:30PM. 1 unread message. 

"Hey." from Alan. I quickly reply knowing that I have to see Alan today.

"I'm coming over within the next hour or so ok?" I send him. I slide out of my bed and find my way to my bathroom. I examine myself in the mirror. My bruises are fading nicely, I've been good this week. Makeup can cover them up until they completely fade. I undress very slowly due to the pain in my body from the frequent beat downs from my father. Even after a few days of being abuse free it still feels like I have broken bones.

I jump into the shower, the warm water burning my bruises and . I try and get through the shower as quickly as possible due to the burning sensation all over my body.

After I get out I quickly slip on my Amity Affliction crewneck and some shorts. I walk back into my bathroom to dry my hair, I decide to leave it naturally wavy today. I run into my room and grab my phone and iPod. I slip on my vans and I head out the door to Alan's house.

I'm speed walking, almost running. I need to get to Alan's as fast as possible. I need to talk to him since I haven't hung out with him alone in almost a week. I see Alan's street and I begin to jog a little, growing impatient. The second my feet hit his driveway I sprint through his door and up his stairs. I burst through his door and see him laying on his bed playing his gameboy. He looks up at me and flashes a smile.

"Hey Edith."

My feelings of anxiety disappear for a moment. Whenever Alan smiles at me I feel at home. Alan's face turns to worry as he see's me frozen in his doorway.

"What's wrong?" He asks as he gets up and walks over to me. My gaze wanders to the floor as my feelings return. I feel him grab my shoulders. "Edith?" he asks. I rest my head on his chest and let go of everything I've been holding in. He wraps his arms around me and I feel a little better. My body shakes as I begin to feel terrible again.

"Come here." He says as he picks me up and carries me to his bed. He sits me up on the wall and sits next to me, holding me close to him. He was the only one who could cheer me up.

"Is it your dad again...?" He asks. I let out a sob which gives away my answer. I look over at him to look for a response but all I see is his hand on his face. I feel terrible. I don't want my bullshit to make him feel sad... I hate seeing him hurt.

"He accused me of sleeping with you guys... and ... Austin saw..." I blurt out. Alan looks at me, shocked. I feel the tears start to flow from my eyes again. 

I glance up at Alan and see a quick tear escape his eyes. Alan was never one to be sad. He always wanted everyone to be happy. I've never had someone who cares  about me this much. I loved having Alan as my best friend. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  He has saved my life.

"Hold on." He says. He sprints down the stairs and leaves me.... alone.

After a few minutes I hear Alan walking up stairs. "Edith I got a surprise!" He shouts. I look up and see Alan with a mug that smells of hot chocolate, my favorite drink, even in the summer. I feel a small smile form across my lips. I take the cup and take a sip, Alan always made the best hot chocolate.

"And another suprise." Alan turns on his Xbox and opens Netflix. I know where this is going. Alan flips through the titles until Drake and Josh pops up and clicks play. I look up at Alan and smile. He really knows how to make me happy. 

Alan looks down at at me and smiles but it soon fades. He stares at me, as if he's examining me. I give him a look of confusion. What was he doing? He looks away and clears his throat. What was up?

........

At 10PM I decide I should head home. We exchange goodbye hugs that last forever and I walk out the door. I need a day with Alan. Alan basically is my older brother, he cares so much about me. I know that Alan will always be there for me and always care.

Alan makes me feel like someone actually cares about me.