Visual of Elysian (Abstract Series #2)

Chapter 38

When we are wounded and shattered, it is comforting to believe in flowery deception and feeble assurances. We seek love so much that we compromise for something we don't deserve. We degrade ourselves because we perceive that in order for someone to love us, we should fulfill their expectations.

"Believe me, Ava, hindi ako 'yon!" Zoren gripped my hand tightly, begging me not to leave him.

When we are already conscious that we do not deserve to be treated less, they will pretend as if they love us and make more hollow promises.

Magbabago na ako. Hindi ako katulad ng iniisip mo. Mahal na mahal kita.

A bunch of nonsense. I wandered in the meadow cultivated with fleeting love because I thought it would provide me with the recognition I sought. I had completely lost track of the reality that, after all this time, the love I lacked originated from myself.

"Leave! Ipapakulong kita kung babalik ka pa rito!" galit na sigaw ni mommy, dinuduro si Zoren.

"I am sorry po, Tita! Mahal na mahal ko po si Ava!" Zoren cried, glancing at me.

Wala na akong nararamdamang kahit ano sa kanya. Masakit, oo. Pero pagmamahal? Wala na. Sa lahat ba naman ng ginawa niya sa akin, naubos na.

Nang hindi siya umalis, pinakaladkad siya sa mga guard namin. Mabuti na lang nasa school si Tati kaya hindi niya makikita ang ganitong sitwasyon.

She had always expected that Zoren would love and care for me, so the thought of her discovering what he has already done to me crushed me the most.

"Are you okay?" tanong ni mommy, pinapaupo ako sa couch.

Tumango ako at tipid na ngumiti. Pagod na pagod na ako. I'm ashamed that I granted him the authority to mistreat me like that.

Ilang araw na akong hindi umiiyak. Siguro masyadong ubos na ang puso ko para sa ganoon.

"May gusto ka bang kainin?" she asked, caressing both of my shoulder.

Umiling ako. Gusto ko lang magtrabaho. I climbed to my feet and dismissed myself. I dressed professionally and grabbed my handbag as I prepared to leave.

"Aalis na po ako," marahan kong sabi.

Halata sa mukha ni mommy ang pag-aalala. They intervened to stop me from working, but I persisted. It became my escape route. To function without contemplating about anything. My unhealthy routine has evolved into a comforting sanctuary for me.

"Miss, do you want anything po?" tanong ng secretary ko pagkapasok ko sa loob ng building.

Wala naman akong takot na pupuntahan ako ni Zoren dito dahil may mga guards na kinuha si mommy para magbantay sa akin. They can't be seen, but I know they're there. It made me feel a little better.

Kalat na rin ang balita na hindi matutuloy ang kasal namin ni Zoren. Si mommy na ang umasikaso na ipa-cancel ang mga bagay na nabili para sana sa wedding. Pati na ang mga invitations na napamigay na. The mere thought of me marrying that devil made me sick to my stomach.

That day, I worked in my office and completed the necessary digital and manual paperwork. It felt really good to do something without pausing to worry about what had transpired.

Natigil ako sa pagtatrabaho nang tumunog ang phone ko. When I peeked at the screen, I saw that it was Aid who was calling. Nagdalawang-isip ako kung sasagutin ko ba. He has been visiting me and doing almost everything he can to revive my radiance for the last three days.

I didn't pick up the phone until it stopped ringing. Huminga ako nang malalim at pinagpatuloy ang pagtatrabaho.

I unintentionally recalled Zoren pushing me inside my office. Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko. Bakit ko hinayaan na saktan niya ako? Bakit pinalampas ko lahat ng mga pagkakataon na sana ay iniwan ko siya?