Loving Kinnick (Rewritten)

I Had Your Consent Before It Happened

The afternoon sun peeking through my window told me good morning, but I knew better than that. Pain pounded in my head. The pulse of my heart quickened as I remembered everything that happened a few days ago. That is when all of the flashbacks started occurring. I wiped my eyes to feel the crust after spending hours last night crying until I eventually fell asleep.

I knew no one could stop him at that moment, including me. For the first time, I looked at him and felt fear. His knuckles dripped from his blood or Warren's, I wasn't sure, but I saw it and felt my breath leave my lungs.

His hair broke free from the slicked-back look he brushed into perfection. When he looked up from Warren, I saw a look in his eyes that said he was home. The wicked smile on his face made me stagger. For the first time, I met the side of Kinnick Carson that everyone talked about.

The rumors are true. He enjoyed hurting people, and he got pleasure from it. The green-eyed monster who haunted my dreams and gave me reasons for being afraid of every place I went crumbled under Kinnick's gaze. He realized he wasn't as strong as he made me believe he was.

Warren bowed at the feet of a man I've done nothing but loved and adored. And it should have felt good to see Warren get what he deserved. No matter what, I hated seeing people in pain, even when they couldn't show me mercy.

John wanted to know what had happened. I didn't know how to tell him it was my fault. I wasn't sure how to explain to John his boxer might have to forfeit his match. He would never forgive me for being the reason why his undefeated boxer lost before having the chance to step into a ring.

I tried convincing myself I did the right thing. I had trouble falling asleep last night, but it wasn't like I was sleeping beauty. I found it difficult to sleep every night, but four in the morning hit. Ever since then, I have been reminding myself of every mistake I made.

Dad did whatever he could to stop me from going to school, but I ended up there. Now I am sitting in the library where Kinnick would typically accompany me, but I am alone, as usual.  I sat in our seats, looking at the Cathedral window. The stained-glass sprinkled rainbows along the spines of books. Something about sitting here told me everything was going to be okay. And I wanted to believe it.

"Lovely seeing you here."

His voice didn't make the hairs on my arms stand up anymore. "Yes. How odd of us to see one another when we go to the same college."

"You are educated in how our criminal justice system works, so I am going to keep this short," Warren clutched his books. "I hope what happened was worth it because he will be spending the next two years of his life behind bars."

"He knows what happened," I lied as my heart raced. "And Chrissy said she is more than willing to testify in his defense. Do you think I didn't keep the photos from that night? You said I was a liar, but your friends have pictures of the proof, and I am ready for all of it to come out."

"You wouldn't -"

"Drop the charges," I seethed. "And he won't say a word."

"How do I know you aren't bluffing?"

"You'll find out if you don't drop the charges," I gathered my books from the table before walking away. "I'll see you in court, Warren. I hope you make the right choice."

"Go with me," he made me stop from going any further.

"Excuse me?"

"Walk with me into the courtroom today, and I'll know you are being serious."

And I did. I stood by his side - willingly.  Not once did I see this happening, but here I am, walking with him into the courtroom where everyone awaited Warren's arrival. We pushed through the doors, and it didn't take my eyes long to fall on Kinnick. He sat in an orange jumpsuit with his wrists handcuffed together and a police officer on his side.

He was slumped in his seat until I walked in. His blue eyes fell on me. Then his whole demeanor changed. I watched the muscles in his body tense. The police officer pushed down on his shoulder, holding him in his spot. His body jerked beneath the strong hand holding him down.

Warren slipped a hand behind my back to rest on my waist, and my body weakened. I looked straight with tears in my eyes. He loved seeing Kinnick get all worked up. He loved knowing there wasn't a damn thing Kinnick could do about the hand on my back, and that's why he kept it there.

The judge called him to the stand. "Warren Mitchell."

I watched him get sworn in before he started speaking nothing but lies. "I want to retract the statement I made. It was, in fact, me who instigated the fight. I threw the first punch, and in self-defense, Kinnick made the next move."

Kinnick's lawyer fell back into his seat. No one was prepared for Warren's testimony. The judge stared at him with skepticism. He must have wondered if he was threatened, but that wasn't the case.

"Mr. Mitchell, you do understand you are under oath and can be prosecuted for lying?"

"I do," he cleared his throat.

"Do you understand what happens if I drop these charges?"

Warren adjusted his tie. "Sir, with all due respect, I want the charges dropped."

I looked over at Kinnick to see him staring at Warren with his mouth opened. He was confused. The furrowed brow told me so. Then his eyes fell on me, and he put the pieces together. I was the reason he was going home. He wasn't spending two years of his life in a cell because I made a deal.

The judge smacked the gavel. "Charges dismissed. Kinnick Carson, you are free to go. Next time you want to do this, don't waste my time."

Kinnick stood up with his lawyer, shaking his hand. Warren stepped off the stand, nodding at me. I joined his side, listening to my tattooed boxer call my name. Every part of my body ached to see him, but I couldn't.

"This means he is going to keep quiet, right?"

A smile pulled across my lips as I turned to Warren. "About what?"

His lips parted as he stared down at me. "He never knew. You used me -"

"And now you know how it feels," my shoulders tipped upward. "At least I had your consent before it happened, so I guess that makes one of us."