Loving Kinnick (Rewritten)

All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Somebody To You

I woke up like I did every morning - thinking of Bo. The little, curly-haired beauty has infiltrated my life with her angel eyes and kind soul. I can't sit alone in a silent room without hearing her laughter. I can't sleep at night unless she is next to me because only then will I know she is truly safe.

After taking her to her dad's place, something shifted. She hadn't been acting right. I wasn't sure what he said to her, but it had her head in the wrong place. I felt her cry on my chest when she thought I was asleep. Then I found her out on the couch when I woke up.

She told me everything was okay but I have known her long enough to know she sucks at lying. It broke my heart to see her fighting the thoughts inside of her head. I knew what it was like. To fight your thoughts alone. All I wanted to do was battle at her side.

Her little body was curled up on the couch. I could tell at any second she was about to snap.

Never have I felt the need to protect someone. Not in the way I have Bo. She attracts trouble like a magnet and after everything she has been through, she needs someone to be her protector - me.

I want her around every day. She's the only person I want pestering me from dusk to dawn with her half-told jokes that I never get to hear because she's laughing too hard. Bo gave my life meaning, and now she's here telling me she can't be with me anymore.

She sat in front of me, on my couch, with her head in her hands. Tears are streaming down her arms as sobs rack through her body. From the moment she woke up, I knew something was wrong. Every word she spoke was coerced. This isn't what she wants. If it was she wouldn't be losing her shit right now.

"Bo -"

"I can't be with you," she choked.

"Why?"

Her caramel eyes looked up at me with threatening tears. "You know -"

"I don't," I snap. "Please, tell me why we can't be together."

"My dad is a police officer," hurt masks her expression. "When people see us together, I wonder what they think."

"You're embarrassed by me?"

"No," she doesn't hesitate to blurt her answer. "But it's not a secret that my dad has it out for you. What do they think when they see me not obeying my dad, the police officer? If I can't obey him, why should they?"

Suddenly, this conversation had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Bo. She's never been judgmental or questioned my actions. What I've done in my past doesn't bother her, and if it does, she hasn't said anything. That doesn't mean Seth hasn't filled her pretty-little head with stories.

"What do they think when they look at me?"

"Who gives a fuck?"

She lets out a deep sigh. "I do!"

"Why?" I lean forward, letting my elbows rest on my knees. "You don't like half of the people in this town. Why would you care what they think? What you do with your life is nobody's fucking business."

"Yeah, but -"

"What did your dad say to you?"

She hesitated before spilling. "He told me about your record."

"What part?"

"It doesn't matter," she shakes her head. "He doesn't want me around you anymore."

"Bo, you've barely seen him, and now you are worried about what he thinks?"

"I'm telling you what he told me - he doesn't want me around you."

"And what do you want?"

"My dad says -"

"Fuck what your father says, Bo!" I raise my voice. "What do you want? If you want to leave me, look me in my fucking eye and say so."

The sudden change in my tone made her jump. I never intended to scare Bo, yet here she is sitting in front of me, but Seth's words are leaving her mouth. The pain in my ribs wanted me to scream out. I felt exhausted with the back and forth shit that she and I have to face. I want her to be able to live without worrying about something happening.

I stood to my feet to pace the living room. "Do you know how in love with you I am? Can you not fucking see it? I can honestly stand here, and say I want you every day, twenty-four-fucking-seven. It doesn't get better than you, Bo."

"I know I am a criminal," I swallow a lump down my throat. "I'd change my past for you, Bo. As long as it meant I could still meet you. I'd do anything if it meant putting your worrying mind to rest."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want a fucking guarantee I'll see you tomorrow and every other day," I clench my fist. "You can add every other day in between that too."

"We've been dating for a month, how are you sure of that?" Her voice breaks. "I don't even know what role you're trying to play here."

"I'm not trying to play at anything," I spat. "All I've ever wanted is to be somebody to you. I don't care what I am, as long as I get to be a part of your day to day life."

"He won't let me go back home," she sobbed. "I know it. He hates me. My dad has been trying everything to get rid of me. I chose you and this is his outing. If I choose you, he won't talk to me."

"Is that what you want?"

"My dad doesn't talk to me anyway. I wouldn't trade you for him."

"God," I let out a sigh of relief. "Why does everything have to be so fucked up?"

She gasped at me. "You're bleeding."

"What?"

"Your eyebrow -"

"I have superglue."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Are you serious? I can stitch it for you."

She made me sit down on the couch until she found everything that would help her fix the wound on my eyebrow. I wasn't sure how we went from breaking up to healing each other's wounds, but here we are. It seemed to be something Bo and I did. We faced everything together.

"How should I sit?"

"On my lap," I tugged her onto my thighs.

She threaded the needle in her hands before cleaning the cut. It burned at the touch but it distracted me from the burning in my chest. The pain was getting worst in my ribs. I didn't want to tell her I hadn't been taking my medicine. She would flip shit, but I don't know how to tell her I'm scared of taking pills. I'm worried I'll find an addiction to them like I did all of those years ago.

When she fell asleep, I drowned myself in alcohol, allowing it to take my pain away. The pounding in my head was better than the aching in my abdomen. I looked at the curly-haired girl on my lap as she continued threading a needle through my skin. She thought jokes would be the best remedy for the pain, and god was she right.

Seeing her sitting on my lap with a dimpled grin on her face as she stared intensely at my forehead was all I needed in life. I wanted her. Even if that meant shoving a needle through my skin a million times.

"I love you," I stared into her caramel eyes.

She looked at me with a large smile. "I love you."

"Does this mean you are moving in with me?"

Her panicked eyes fell onto me. "What if I move in and you don't want to be with me anymore?"

"Seriously?"

"We haven't been dating for that long."

"I don't give a shit," I scoffed. "Are you moving in?"

She furrowed her brows together. "We will see what happens."

"How about a nap?"

"Uh," she bit the string in half. "Sure. How did you split that open anyway?"

"Moving my eyebrows too much, I guess."

She rubbed her knuckles across my face. "My bad boy with a brooding attitude."

"Mhm," I pecked her lips. "Let's go. I'm tired."