Loving Kinnick (Rewritten)

So Comfortably Numb

The vehicle's headlights illuminated a scene of chaos and catastrophe. I could feel the bass through the leather seats of Luke's truck as he pulled in front of the house. My eyes quickly scanned over the trash scattered across the front yard. People parked their cars on the grass, leaving thick tire marks behind them. 

My feet cautiously stepped over the broken bottles on the sidewalk as we made our way to the front door. Luke's arm found its way back around my shoulder. The house appeared abandoned. Black trash bags were pilled onto the porch, ripped open, and spilling onto the wood.

Smoke poured from the windows, and the breeze smelled like weed. Luke popped open the front door, allowing me inside first, and everything came flashing back. The rooms were full of people stumbling around the house as they sipped from red solo cups. We stood under dimly lit lights, making our way through rooms filled with a thick haze.

Luke slid his fingers down my arm, slipping them into my hand as he pulled me into the kitchen. "What are you drinking, Bo?"

"I don't want anything."

"How about the alcohol we stole from my parents," he suggested. "You know, the night we hid in the treehouse and played truth or dare?"

"We were twelve, that was years ago."

"Don't act like you don't remember," he pulled cups from the stack on the counter. "I was your first kiss."

My eyes rolled as he grabbed a tall glass bottle. "I try not to think about it."

He turned around and gave me an ear-to-ear grin. "It wasn't that awful."

"You shoved your tongue down my throat before our lips touched."

"Not true," he shook his head, pouring cups full of alcohol. "Here."

Chrissy and Tyler disappeared soon after walking through the door. Luke pulled me toward a clothed stairwell, leading me into a basement. My lips separated as I stared at the bar before me. The glass wall was anchored with shelving, holding a variety of alcohol. The makeshift countertops concealed everything behind them.

"Who had the money for this?"

Luke shrugged, sipping from his cup. "Connor's dad is a traveling surgeon, to make a long story short."

"And he is okay with his son trashing the place?"

"Connor will pay someone to clean it up - he always does," his blue eyes rolled. "Daddy's allowance and all."

As Luke started a conversation with someone, my curious eyes looked around the basement as if I was searching for someone. I nearly choked on the alcohol in my drink as I watched a man grip his girlfriend's backside under the skirt on her waist. Just as I was about to turn away, I realized it wasn't just any man; it was Kinnick.

Why I was upset came to me as a question I would never be able to answer. As his lips moved with hers, I didn't know why I felt the need to getaway. My head tilted back as I brought the cup to my lips and sucked it all down.

"Holy shit, "Luke chuckled. "What is the occasion?"

I shake my head, wincing at the pain burning through my chest. "Just celebrating your win, that's all."

Within thirty minutes, the music pounding through the speakers started telling me to get on top of the counter. Luke called out my name as I nearly slipped off of the edge. My knees slid around on the marble as my hips swayed back and forth. I slid my fingers through my curls as they fell in front of my face.

The cheering from around me should have made me stop, but it fueled the energy coursing through my veins. I wanted to forget what I saw, the pain the tattooed man caused me, and how much being at parties reminded me of Warren. So, as long as the music continued to play and my cup was full, I would be able to push everything aside.

I felt the draft of cool air on my waist as the edge of my t-shirt hiked upward. Luke stood next to his friend a few feet away, watching my shirt rise. I saw the look in his eyes, so I turned away. A look was written on his face in a language I couldn't understand. As his friend whispered into his ear, my attention was stolen.

"You look a little drunk, best friend," a familiar voice filled my ears.

A grin broke out on my face as I stared down at Miles. "Hi!"

"Maybe you should get down before you get hurt, babe."

"Or you could get up here."

He snickered. "Not happening. Do you want me to help you down?"

My head moved back and forth. "No, I want to dance."

"Can you dance down here where it is safe?"

"I am okay."

"Just say my name, and I'll be over here, okay?"

I nodded, giving him a bright smile. "I love you for that."

"As I have said, anything for you, best friend."

When Miles left, Luke made his way back toward me with someone by his side. I kneeled onto the counter before kicking my legs over the side. His fingers curled over my knee as he sat next to me. My breath hitched as he made circles into my jeans. I tried to ignore the feeling in my chest telling me to smack his hand away, but I didn't.

"So, you've been the life of the party?" The boy I did not know spoke.

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Maybe you need another drink."

My head moved back and forth. "Maybe not."

"Want to try?" He pulled the blunt from between his lips.

"No," I furrowed my eyebrows as he blew smoke in my face.

As I attempted to jump from the barstool, I nearly slipped off. Giggles left my lips as I lost feeling in my legs from the fear coursing through my body. Luke sucked in a deep breath as I walked away, leaving him behind me as I made my way through the house. I didn't know where I was going, but I needed to get away from him. I needed to breathe, but I couldn't do that with smoke blowing in my face.

I made my way toward the bar full of alcohol, trying to find something new. My hands scanned the different-colored bottles before settling on something dark brown. The unbroken seal made me feel comfortable with popping the cap off. I shrugged my shoulders before tipping my head back and chugging down on the contents.

Sometimes I needed to let go, and I was, but I wasn't sure what I was letting go of - the boundaries I put in place to keep myself safe or the hold onto the pain I have been feeling. I hadn't touched alcohol because I was scared of what would happen when I did, but the second the burn made tears well in my eyes, I realized I've never been so numb. So comfortably numb.