The Perfect Jedi • Anakin Skywalker

Ch 36: The Dark Side

"What would I do without you?" I laughed.

"Luckily, you won't have to worry about that for a long time" Cal smiled.

He pulled me onto the shuttle as I nodded to Gree.

"Almost lost you, general" he said.

"Can't get rid of me that easily" I said.

We got back to the cruiser as Cal went on and on about Anakin.

"You should've seen him, Lulu" he said. "He was amazing. Not saying you aren't of course, he's a lot more reckless for my taste."

I smiled as he continued on.

"You miss him a great deal" echoed.

I turned around to find nobody there. I turned back to Cal as everything changed. I opened my eyes back up to see my mother sitting across from me. I looked down to my body seeing I was in the same position I was the previous day.

"You miss him a great deal" she said.

I examined her features more, though she was now in ghost form. I looked around Cal's old quarters.

"I can feel myself slipping" I said. "The anger and pain always creep up. I'm trying to move forward but I don't know if I'm strong enough."

I looked down ignoring her gaze.

"Did I fail him? I keep telling myself I didn't but I feel like I did" I said. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. For weeks alls I could see was the fear in his eyes as his fingers slipped out of mine."

"You didn't fail him" she said. "He couldn't of had a better master to show him the way of the Jedi."

"Master Mundi was right" I said. "I constantly berated Poppy, comparing her to Cal. I let my feelings for him cloud my sight. I could've seen the signs of her turning to the dark side."

"You, yourself are being corrupted by the dark side" she said. "I could feel it when you came to me on Utapau."

I looked into her eyes as I felt tears forming.

"I don't want to succumb to it" I said. "But I feel like it's going to take over whenever I think about Cal's death."

"Many Jedi have fallen due to the loss of their padawan or master" she said. "Not all are strong enough to deal with the pain and anger. I'm afraid if you fall to the dark side the fate of the galaxy is at stake."

"I am not the chosen one" I said.

She smiled, shaking her head.

"The chosen one, there is no such thing" she said. "You and another are the perfect balance the galaxy needs. Light and dark."

"Anakin" I said. "I am the dark and he is the light?"

"Other way around, my child" she said.

"But Anakin- he's not-" I said trailing off.

"You love him, don't you?" She asked.

"I-" I said.

"He's your husband" she said.

"We became close, very fast. I was the only one of the younglings to welcome him to the Jedi, the others didn't care very much for him" I said.

"When did you realize you loved him?" She asked.

"We were sixteen, sent to Ryloth with my- uncle?" I said. "I remember the way his eyes looked across the fire. It was cold and he insisted on making a fire but he tried and tried. I ended up making it."