Another Lifetime

Chapter 54:

Cesar's POV:
The gate buzzes and I get my first step outside without any guards in months. It's bright and way too hot but I love every second of it. "See you soon." One of the guards who walked me out laughs. "Tell your sister I'll see her tonight." Talking back is better when they can't beat the shit outta you. Monse's yelling at someone on the phone and she doesn't even notice I got out. "He was supposed to get out five hours ago! Yeah... if I have to tell you his name one more fucking time!" She keeps yelling until she sees me. "I thought something happened." Monse wraps her arms behind my neck. They barely let me get close to her in there. "I missed you so much." She laughs. "I missed you too." I kiss her. "How'd I go five months without you?" I ask. "Never again." She hits my arm when we stop hugging. "Wow, I'm out for five minutes and you're already beating my ass." I smile. "Yeah, and I'll do it again if you get caught." Monse kisses me again. "They couldn't convict me of shit!" I laugh. "And they never will, but I can't go through all of this again." Monse hands me my keys. "Damn you're letting me drive?" I say sarcastically. "Whatever." She kisses her teeth. "You better stop kissing your teeth and start kissing me." I pull her back. "You're such a nerd." She rolls her eyes. "For real, we gotta go home your babies wanna see you." Monse walks to the other side of the car.

The drive home feels even better than walking out did. "Maybe you shouldn't speed right after you got out." Monse suggests. "Baby-" she cuts me off. "If they catch you doing anything they're gonna send you back and you know that." She points out. "Better?" I ask when I slow down and Monse rolls her eyes. "You're lucky I missed you." She says and I kiss the back of her hand. "So damn lucky." I laugh.

We get to my house and it looks the same but still so different. "Welcome home loser." Lola hugs me. "Hi." Kyrie smiles but he doesn't make eye contact with me. "You don't wanna give your dad a hug?" Lola asks him. "He doesn't have to." I tell her but I look at him. "I missed you." I get down to his level. "I'm not gonna go again." I promise my son and he hugs me. "Good." He says and I can tell he's not letting go anytime soon. I pick him up and carry him in the house while he hugs me. Everyone's waiting for me. I thought this is what I wanted but I feel like I can't breathe. When Monse goes to get Mona from Odessa I feel even worse. "You good?" Lola asks. "Go play with your sister and Monse." I tell Kyrie. "I'm fine but I feel like everyone's too damn close." I grab the back of my neck. "You think about texting your brother?" She asks. "Why would I do that? If I wanna talk about getting out I'll pick literally anyone else here." I remind her. "Yeah well maybe he needs to talk to you." She squeezes my shoulder and walks away. "What was that?" Monse walks back over with my baby. "Hola princesa!" I take Mona. "Cesar." Monse raises her eyebrows at me. "So I'm not allowed to talk to Lola?" I laugh. "That's not why I'm asking! You looked like you were about to throw up." She points out. "I'm fine. I'm happy." I say a little too quickly. "Monse, don't look at me like that." I smile. "I'm not." She says and I tilt my head. "It doesn't have the same effect when Mona's squishing your face." She tells me. "I'm home with my favorite people in the whole damn world. I don't feel like throwing up, and I don't want anything other than this." I kiss her. "Ok, but-" I don't know why but for some reason I get angry. Not the kind of angry you can ignore but full on blackout pissed off. "Don't fucking act like you know what I feel. If I say I'm good, I'm good." I yell and Mona cries. "I know you, Cesar. I can tell when you're not ok." She crosses her arms. "The longest we've ever been together was when I was in jail. You don't know me." I walk to the backyard with Mona.

Monse's POV:
Almost everyone's still here but Mona needs to sleep so Lola helps me force them outside. "Your dad isn't gonna be like that forever. If he is, I'll dump his ass." I laugh and so does Mona. "He needs a minute but he's still him." I kiss my little girl. I turn off her lights and we just look at the glow in the dark stars all over her room. It's the opposite of when Spooky was here. Mona's room is purple and sparkly and it's all her... but I wish Spooky was home. Cesar needs his brother. I can't help him.

Mona falls asleep like the perfect angel she always is. I literally can't believe she's mine. I lay down in my bed, technically Cesar's bed, and I just stay still. It's been my room for months. Just my room. Now I have to share it with a pissed off weird version of my boyfriend. He walks into our room and I can tell he feels guilty. "I'm not ok." He lays down next to me. "I know." I don't even looks t him. "I don't think I'm gonna be ok for a while." He explains. "You don't have to be." I sit up a little and lean on her elbows. "What do you wanna do?" I ask. "I don't know." He just messes with his chain. "How am I supposed to be lil Spooky when I'm nothing like my old self?" He asks but I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Monse. I know this isn't what you wanted." He says and now I'm confused. "You think I don't know how this shit messes with people's heads? No one in Freeridge is ok." I tell him. "I'm not even the guy you fell in-" this time I sit up all the way and I'm pissed."Finish that sentence and I'm gonna make you sleep on the damn couch. Every time we get a chance to be together something stops us so you're not gonna try and get me to leave. You're having a hard time but I'm not gonna go anywhere 'cause we aren't the same people anymore." I lecture him. "I love you." He tells me and I roll my eyes. "I know." I kiss him and he smiles. The second I try to pull away Cesar kisses me again and rolls is over so he's on top.