SAUDADE

dalawang pu't dalawa

Third Person

What is your perception of love?

Of real true love?

Do you think we are vulnerable when we love?

These are the questions that hinder Issa from opening her heart to romance. To letting someone in, to let someone know her, feel her, understand her, love her.

She might be abundant in love from her family... But, other than that... She doesn't have any idea on how is love really done.

You might say she has parents to guide her, twenty plus years of marriage and the love is still evident would be enough reason why her standards should be high, right?

After having the conversation she had with her mother and father, it hit her that she never really knew why they fell apart. Sure they had so much to argue and fight about but, were those really enough to break a now 28 years of marriage?

How come a single stroke of mistake, her parents gave up on each other? She wants to know why. She never really understood why one fault could rock their boat. So she dug deep.

And to her surprise, the single fault made everything make sense to her.

Love really does need time and attention. Marriage without love is passionless, but marriage without affection and communication is hopeless.

2015

"I'm going to start a business." She informed him. "No... Mapapagod ka lang niyan..." Greggy looked up from the papers he was reading.

"I'm not asking for permission, I am informing you." She looked at him in the eyes as she stood a meter away from his table.

Greggy sighed, "Ano nanaman 'to, Ai?"

Irene hardened her jaw, not wanting to let other people eavesdrop on their conversation as they were inside his office, "Wala naman akong magawa sa bahay... I need a distraction. I'm losing my mind over things out of my control."

"Ai... Mast-stress ka lang." He looked at her with worried eyes. "Hindi nga ako mas-stress, Gregorio." She closed her eyes and balled her fists.

"I just want something to do instead of missing our daughter. Maloloka ako sa bahay dahil ako lang mag-isa! Mas mukha pa ngang bahay tong opisina mo, eh." She argued.

"What are you trying to say?" He asked her, knowing this wasn't just about her not doing anything at home.

"I'm trying to say that you don't even go home anymore. Ano ba? May babae ka ba? Ipaalam mo na para naman hindi ako mapapraning kung nasaan ka." She rolled her eyes, saying words that she didn't think twice.

Greggy stood up from his seat, an angry expression on his face, "What the hell?!" He exclaimed, "Anong babae? I am just working. Nandito lang ako sa opisina nagtatrabaho! Ano ba Irene?"

"Eh kung wala... Bakit ba hindi ka na umuuwi? Bakit ba nandito na ang buhay mo? Nakakalimutan mo bang may asawa ka? May pamilya ka? Wag puro trabaho, Gorio." She shook her head as she said her last sentence.

Greggy scoffed loudly, "Ah, so kapag wala na pala akong oras sa bahay nasa ibang babae na? Wala akong oras para mangaliwa, Irene. Lahat ng oras ko na sa pamilya na natin." He reasoned out.

Irene chuckled bitterly as she shook her head, "Lahat ng oras mo nasa pamilya mo? Talaga ba? Bakit wala ka palagi sa bahay? Bakit parang mas may oras ka pa sa trabaho kesa sa'ken?" She asked him, fighting back the tears that were building up.