Our Song

Chapter Twenty-two (Arthur's POV)

Chapter Twenty-two

Forgive

Arthur

We were on a road trip with my cousins and some friends to the province. Pinayagan kami ng parents namin na magbakasyon sa bahay ng grandparents ko sa probinsya. They were having fun on the road while I was getting a little bored. So when we passed by a small bookstore, nagpaalam akong may bibilhin doon, and Grace who's the daughter of a family friend went with me. I forgot to bring book to read while we travel.

I already got a hold of the book that I wanted to buy when someone's hand touched it, too. It's a book regarding law. Dad wants me to enter law school after finishing college. I turned to the girl. My lips parted after seeing her cute and pretty face. I've seen pretty girls in the city but her looks that was a mixture of being cute and beautiful as if caught my eyes.

"Oh, are you getting it, too? Sige, sa 'yo nalang, Miss." I smiled as I handed her the book.

Hindi pa niya agad tinanggap iyon kaya maayos ko nalang na iniwan doon nang parehong nabaling ang atensyon namin sa parehong may tumawag sa aming dalawa.

"Art, come on! Tinatawag na nila tayo at aalis na." I heard Grace called for me.

Binalikan ko pa ng tingin ang babae but I only saw her retreating back with the guy she was with...

Bumalik na kami sa sasakyan at nagtuloy-tuloy na ang biyahe papunta sa ancestral home ng mga Laurel. I checked the place when we arrived there. I grew up here until my grandparents died. They were wonderful to me. And I still missed them.

***

"When we first met, at the bookstore, I remember you were looking at a law book." I reminded Aryanne of our first meeting in their province. Halos kasunod lang pala ng kanila ay ang probinsya din ng grandparents ko.

I can't be wrong. She was really that girl. I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her again after a few years at my parents' friend's house as Attorney Bernales' daughter. I thought we would never see each other again after that first meeting... And Aryanne remembers that time at the bookstore, too, when I reminded her. I smiled. Her mere presence makes my heart thump and happy.

"Ah. Ang alam ko kasi noon pa ay lawyer ang Papa ko... Kaya naisip kong baka pwede rin akong kumuha ng abogasya," she shrugged her shoulders. "Pero," she shook her head. "Ayaw ko na pala. Ang hirap!" Ngumisi siya.

Napangiti rin ako habang nakatingin sa kaniya.

Palagi kaming nagkikita dahil sa mga parents namin. We became friends until we decided to have a relationship. And I became more happy when she's my girlfriend.

I was used to living alone since I thought I can't live with my parents who did not have a good relationship with each other. I think they only married just because, or because they had me. I didn't know how my parents actually met. Ang alam ko lang ay dahil siguro sa common friends nila. I knew that my mother was a fashion model and was about to enter acting, too, when she got pregnant with me and dad married her.

Aryanne lived with me at my condo which was also a gift from my deceased grandfather. And it was all rainbows and butterflies for me for the 8 years that we were together and we've known each. Aryanne was simple and caring. Palagi niya akong inaasikaso, pinagluluto, at sinasamahan pang magpuyat kapag nagrereview ako for my studies. And I truly appreciated it all.

"Hmm." She moved when she felt my light kisses.

She stayed up all night because I was sick dahil naulanan din ng konti kahapon nang pauwi na ako galing law school. And she took care of me while I was sick. I also knew that I made her worried. I smiled. So now that I'm better, balak kong bumawi ng date sa kaniya. She also likes food trip so I might just bring her again to Chinatown which also became her favorite after I first brought her there. Dahil nahilig na rin akong kumain doon dahil din sa ilang classmates ko sa law school. She's simple as that. Which just made me like her more. Her simplicity together with her qualities made me love her. I love Aryanne. I'm in love with her. That I can already see a future only with her.

I knew that her heart already belonged to someone. Kaya hindi ko na rin pinilit. I was fine that she's with me at that time and she still made me happy. I know of him because Aryanne told me about him. We were both comfortable enough with each other that we shared our secrets and pain. We were both there for each other all those years that we're together. And I can't just throw it away no matter if she's hurt me...

I knew it... I felt it... When I knew that he came back, naramdaman ko na rin na baka bawiin na niya sa akin si Aryanne... After all her heart was already with him to start with.

And I can't hate Aryanne especially after knowing that I was sick and I might end up dying just like my grandfather who died of cancer, and I'd just leave Aryanne... Alam ko pa namang hindi siya ganoon ka independent lalo noong una. Pero alam ko rin na kung pipiliin niya ay kakayanin din niyang mag-isa.

I had the intention to tell her about it, but she had no time... At palagi na niyang kasama noon si Wesley Rivera... I knew him as the famous singer and Aryanne's childhood and ex-boyfriend. They've been working together for a music project. I was proud of Aryanne. I knew that she's talented.

I also thought of confronting her, lalo noong alam ko nang nagsisinungaling na siya sa akin... But I chose to keep myself silent.

"You are giving her too much freedom, Arthur. Think about it, son. Do you really think she's staying with you because she truly loves you? Or is it only because she can have as much freedom that she cannot have when she's under his father's roof?"

"You mean to say, Mom... That Aryanne can't love me because I'm not lovable enough...?" I made it sound like it's not a serious matter at all.

Umawang naman ang labi ni mommy sa sinabi ko. She shook her head. "That's not it, son! Of course you are lovable. I love you, son. And you are handsome and successful. But Aryanne... She's no good for you."

She never liked Aryanne. Kahit ano pa ang gawin at ipakita nito hindi niya pa rin magugustuhan.

It was my mother's birthday and we celebrated in our home. She asked me about Aryanne when she noticed that she's gone and I told her that she has something important to attend to.

If only she was honest... And if only I tried to confront her, too... But we both chose what we did. Life is a matter of choices. We make our own choice and we live with it.

I can't blame it all on Aryanne. It was also my choice. I already knew of the possibilities. But it was my choice to accept her in my life. And to be content of the only love that she can give me. And despite everything I still lived life happily since she came into my life. So there's no regret for me. So what if I got hurt because she caused me pain in the end? In the real end I'm still happy because I fell in love and feel the pain. I knew that I lived this life because that's probably how we live. It's not all good, and there's the bad. And sometimes maybe we just have to feel pain too to know that we're alive. It's better than feeling numb from from all just the good times and not feeling pain at all which is impossible.

I think what's important is that we're here, we lived here on earth and experienced many things that brought lessons to us and good memories which we will carry with us until the day we die...

And don't forget to forgive... It is not just for the person you will forgive but it is for you. So that you won't be carrying it with you anymore. We might not forget, I guess that's okay... No matter if people are willing to forgive it's not easy to forget the things that hurt us and create a mark on us. But for our own sake, too, learn to forgive. And it's not as if it's always hard to forgive someone you love.

I'm not being such a good guy. Or a martyr, perhaps? I'm just making my own choice. And I'm choosing to forgive Aryanne, and my parents for their shortcomings... I chose to forgive the people I love.

"I love you, Aryanne. I will always love you." I remember one of our good times together when I proposed for her hand in marriage and she's accepted it. I embraced her after she said yes to me and I told her these words again.

Her pretty eyes looked up at me. "I love you, too, Art." she responded in her gentle voice which made me smile genuinely.

I knew that she had loved me truly. It may be different from the love she has for him... But I'm sure that Aryanne really did love me. And that's enough for me.