Scared To Get Close (Lee Malia/ BMTH)

Chapter 12- Follow You

My head is haunting me, and my heart feels like a ghost. I need to feel something, cause I'm still so far from home. Cross your heart and hope to die, promise me you'll never leave my side.

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*Stephanie's Point Of View.*

"S P I R I T. Spirit, let's hear it." the voice of Happy Song boomed throughout the arena.

"Good Luck." I say to my brother before he runs on stage.

"Thank you, Steph." He smiles before turning away and running on stage with the rest of the band.

And with that I was left alone backstage to watch their all too familiar set list. The familiarity of the set list almost relaxing now.

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"That was great guys." I say to my brother and the rest of the band.

The show had now finished and currently I was backstage with the band waiting for them to finish getting ready to leave.

"Thanks Steph." Vegan smiles at me.

"Anyway, do you guys have anything planned for tomorrow? I know you said you have a free day tomorrow." I ask suddenly feeling slightly awkward- why am I feeling like this suddenly? It's only my brother and then the other guys I've known for years.

"Since when have we ever made plans?" Nicholls laughs to which I awkwardly smile.

"Steph, you okay?" Lee grows a look of concern as he walks over to me and wraps one of his arms around my shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired I guess." Lies.

I'm not fine. I think I know why I'm feeling the way I am right now. It's because of Dylan. Honestly, I feel I can never be who I was again because of him. I'm scared to open up to people, I can't open up to people. As soon as I crack that's it, everything is going to come crashing down and I could even risk the band's career. I can't ruin the band because of me being stupid.

"Well, we should go now guys." Jordan then says snapping me from my thoughts to which I look up at my brother to see him staring at me with a questioning look.

Great, they're all getting even more suspicious.

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*Lee's Point Of View.*

It must have been about 2 in the morning when I was woken up by the sound of someone tossing and turning in their bunk while breathing heavily and whimpering in fear- Stephanie.

Instantly pulling back my bunk curtain I step out of my bunk and carefully pull Stephanie's curtain across to see the shaking and whimpering in fear, her eyes still fully shut, she's having another nightmare.

"Steph." I then nudge her shoulders lightly trying to wake her up "Steph, hey it's alright, it's a nightmare, wake up."

And soon she's bolting awake making me instantly take my hands off her shoulders as she sits up breathing heavily.

"Lee?" She asks as fear fills her voice.

"It's me, don't panic." I whisper making sure not to wake the other guys up.

"I give up with this, I give up with all of it." She then whispers as she tucks her knees up resting her head on her knees.

"Hey listen to me, everything's fine." I try to comfort her as I carefully climb into her bunk next to her and wrap my arms around her small figure.

"It's not fine Lee. I'm tired of all of this." She explains as her voice cracks, she's crying.

My best friend is completely broken and that breaks my heart. All her panic attacks, her self-harm, the way she shuts us out. If I find out that this is the work of someone else, I'm going to find them and I'm going to fucking kill them.

"Look at me Steph, please." I beg to which she does look at me. "I love you so much Stephanie Sykes, you're my best friend and nothing is going to change that. I'm here for you and I promise, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." I say to her as I gently wipe away some of the tears that were sat underneath her eyes.

"Thank you, Lee, for everything." She sighs calming down slightly as she rests her head on my shoulder and puts her legs out straight.

"You know I'm here Steph, I always have been, and I always will be." I feel myself smile at her slightly even though she probably won't see my smile due to the low amount of light that was on the bus- honestly, I don't know why management didn't get us rooms considering we're staying here for another day and not travelling but oh well. "Anyway, you should get some sleep love." I then tell her kissing her lightly on the forehead before going to climb out of her bunk.

"Wait Lee." She then calls me as she grabs hold of one of my hands. "Stay with me?"

"Of course." I then say in slight shock as she lets go of my hand laying back down making room for me in the small bunk. "Always." I then say as I climb into her bunk with her settling under the duvet as I then feel her rest her head on my chest slightly which makes me wrap my arm around her.

"I love you, Lee." she then mumbles half asleep- I know she only means that in friend way though which makes me frown slightly.

By now a little bit more light had entered the bus which made it possible for me to see Stephanie's face. Right now, she looks so peaceful and calm, you would have never thought that this was the Stephanie who was so obviously broken. I just wish she would start opening up to all of us a little bit more. It's horrible to see her so vulnerable and damaged.

I want the old Stephanie back; I want the Stephanie I fell in love with back. She's my best friend.