Scared To Get Close (Lee Malia/ BMTH)

Chapter 7- Drown

It comes in waves, I close my eyes, hold my breath, and let it bury me. I'm not okay, and it's not alright, won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

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As I watch the blood seep out of the fresh cut there's then a another (much softer) knock at the door.

"Stephanie, please open the door. Oli's gone, Jordan and Nicholls took him to another part of the bus." I then hear the voice of Lee.

Sighing I then put the razor back into my bag before walking over to the sink and rinsing my arm turning the water in the sink red. I then roll down my sleeve and walk over to the door.

"Stephanie please." Lee then begs as I hear worry in his voice.

Sighing once more I reach out and unlock the door before slowly opening it where I then see Lee as well as Vegan. As I walk out tugging at my sleeve, I see Vegan approach me before pulling me into his arms hugging me, but I don't hug back, instead I stand there for a bit before pulling out.

"Steph." I then hear Lee gasp slightly as he takes hold of my hand, looking down I see why he gasped.

The cut was still bleeding and had soaked through my sleeve as well as start running down my hand.

"Vegan, go and get the medical kit." Lee then tells his band mate as he takes a hold of my hand (that wasn't covered in blood) and leads me back into the bathroom before running the water and gently placing my bloody arm under it to rinse off the blood.

Once the blood is rinsed off, he leads me into the bunk area (which is just next to the bathroom) which is when Vegan then hands him the medical kit. After making me sit down on my bunk he then sits next to me opening the kit.

"Thankfully it's not that deep a cut." Lee says as he pulls out a cleaner. "Now this is probably going to sting a little, but we need to clean it properly." he then says as he wets a piece of cotton with the cleaner before pressing in down onto my broken skin.

"Fucking hell Lee! That stings!" I scream pulling my arm away from him making Vegan come and sit on the other side of me.

"Steph it needs to be cleaned." Vegan says as he wraps his arm around me slightly while gently taking hold of my arm and holding it out so Lee can clean it. "It's okay, I'm here."

Lee then presses the cotton to my arm again making me hiss in pain but due to Vegan holding my arm out I'm unable to move my arm away.

"See that wasn't so bad." Vegan then whispers after Lee had finished cleaning it making me send him a death glare.

"Fuck off Vegan." I snap at him making him laugh slightly.

"Awe you love me really Steph." He smiles before placing a gentle kiss to my cheek making Lee look at us before looking down at my arm again.

"Okay so I want you to keep this covered for a couple of days to prevent infection. We're going to need to change it a couple of times a day though, okay?" Lee then asks wrapping up my arm in a bandage before looking up at me.

"Okay." I sigh as Vegan unwraps his arms from around me before standing up. "I'm going to go check on Oli." and with that he's walking into the direction I'm guessing Jordan and Nicholls took my brother.

"I really fucked up big time didn't I Lee? Oli hates me." I sigh again but this time looking down at my hands.

"Steph, you didn't fuck up and Oli doesn't hate you. I mean I don't agree with how he reacted, but he's just worried about you, he couldn't hate you, you're his little sister." Lee says wrapping his arms around me pulling me into him.

"I'm sorry Lee." I say as I feel tears start rolling down my cheeks.

"Don't be sorry Steph. I'll help you and so will Oli and the other guys, I promise, you're going to be okay." He whispers as he starts to stroke my hair slightly trying to calm me down.

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*Oli's Point of View. *

"I can't believe my sister fucking self-harms!" I raise my voice slightly making Jordan and Nicholls look at each other briefly before looking back at me.

"Mate calm down, yeah?" Jordan says, "You really shouldn't have acted the way you did if I'm honest, I think that made her panic more."

"I know, I just, I don't know... I didn't know how to react, God I fucked up, she probably thinks I hate her." I sigh placing my head in my hands.

"Mate she won't think that okay? Just give her some space for a little bit as she's probably upset, she'll be fine, Vegan and Lee are with her." Nicholls says making me look up just as I see Vegan walking towards us.

"How is she?" I ask Vegan which makes Nicholls and Jordan turn around to look at him.

"She made another few cuts while she was in the bathroom. Once you guys left Lee managed to persuade her to open the door and we saw her arm bleeding. Lee has cleaned it up and bandaged it so she'll be fine. Lee's with her now." Vegan explains making a pain shoot through me.

"Fucking hell! She made those cuts because of me! Why am I such a fucking idiot?!" I shout slightly standing up making the other guys jump slightly.

"Oli mate don't blame yourself. Anyway, we can help her now we know." Jordan says trying to calm me down...

...But how can I calm down? I just found out my little sister is self-harming and instead of trying to support her about it to help her I ended up shouting at her. I can't believe I reacted like that; she probably doesn't trust me now. God, I need to phone Tom...

...I just thankful she has Lee, the two of them were always close with each other...

...I trust Lee.