Lead Me To You

Kabanata XVII

Adore

I couldn't sleep and I am tossing and turning on my bed. I just did something terrible again and I lost control.

I woke up early knowing that I didn't really sleep. Sitting on my bed while holding the wedding ring I kept in my drawer. This is my wedding ring to Paris. It keeps bugging the idea that they wanted to start merging our companies. I don't know if this was the right decision I made anymore. It feels like I am being trapped.

I looked at it again and this is not a simple ring. It has diamond details with a gold loop. Inside the ring was engraved Paris' name and the date of our marriage. Same as his.

If I were in a different situation, I would be happy. Holding this ring and wearing it, I might be proud.

There are times when I feel like throwing it away because I just couldn't stand having it near me. As soon as I landed at Manila airport, I removed this on my finger. And never wear it again.

My phone rang from my bedside table. A call from Paris early in the morning. I picked it up and coughed three times before answering.

"Ciao Paris,"

I heard the crumbling sound of a gunshot before he could answer.

"Ciao Monica. I apologize for the background sound. I'm just doing some shooting." He said.

I see. That's one of his hobbies.

"That's okay. But isn't it too early for your firing range? If I am not mistaken, it's still five in the morning there."

"We're doing it indoors. I just can't sleep because I keep missing you."

He did not even think twice before saying that.

I don't know how to respond.

"By the way, I went to dinner last night with your grandparents. I came with my family and we discussed the merger. Your Nonno mentioned that you have been enjoying your holidays there. You've been to many places already." Pagiiba naman niya sa usapan.

"Yes, I did. I've been to Boracay, Siargao and Vigan. Those places are exquisite! I just wish that you were here so you could also witness the beauty of the places I've been to."

Ilang beses pa ba akong magsisinungaling? Sa tatlong buwan kong itinigil sa bansang ito ay tanging preso lamang ang aking kinalagyan. Boracay? Siargao? Hanggang ngayon ay pinapangarap ko pa ring puntahan iyan. Ngunit sa tingin ko ay wala akong oras dahil mas gugustuhin kong matapos ang kalbaryong ito nang mawala na ang mga problemang kinakaharap ko.

"Really? I'll be with you soon when you visit those places again. I just can't wait for you to come home so we can plan those things."

He said that I can take my time without him. He never broke that. But he still didn't forget to care about me. He's always checking on me. I can really feel his sincerity and his responsibilities as my husband.

"I already paid the credit card bills for last month. You can use the card again. For your debit card, I also filled it up so you won't need to worry about your allowance. I just need you to enjoy your vacation."

He did what?

"You don't need to do that. You insisted on giving me your credit card but you know that I will refuse. It's too much, Paris. I don't know how to use them all."

Before going here, he gave me his black credit card. He said that I will be using that more than he. I refused but he's just persistent.

"I don't care how you will use the card and the money that I gave to you. What I want you to do is to enjoy yourself and not worry about anything. If you want to go shopping every day, use my money. If you want to treat your friends, I don't care, use my card to pay for the food or anything. I gave it to you. So it's on you now how you will use it." He said.