𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎

Chapter 55

Nikki's POV

I woke up this morning with a pain in my arm but it's worth it. Moira is sleeping next to me. Her hair is all around the pillow and it covers her face a little bit. She's so beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful woman I've slept with. But who am I fooling? She IS the most beautiful woman I've ever slept with. And the fact that she gave in to me just like that is amazing. Who knows, maybe she wanted this as much as I did. I'm happy. For the first time in years I feel happy. And she woke up. Her eyes are so starry. She gave me a smile. Am I dreaming again?
"Good morning, Nikki." No, I'm not dreaming. It's really happening. Thank God.
"Good morning, Moira." I swear to God, that's the most beautiful thing to wake up next to.
"Did you sleep well?" I've never slept this fine in my whole life.
"Oh yeah, what about you, my princess?"
"To be honest, I haven't slept that well before." Aaww Moira, I'm so happy to know you're happy in my arms.
"I love you." That smile again. I want to cry. She's so gorgeous.
"I love you more."
"And I love you more than that."
"That's not possible. I love you more than anything."
"I love you more than I love myself."
"You're the reason I woke up this morning." I love it when she gets speechless. That's the moment when I kiss her lips. And yeah, she seems to love it. Oh Moira, your lips are so sweet.

Now we're in the living room, sitting on the couch, drinking our coffees. Her head is on my shoulder. I guess she really can't get away from me. But I don't mind. In fact, that's what I want. I want her to hold me constantly. She needs to. It's making her happy. And as long as she's happy, I'm happy too. She's my love, my happiness, my pain, my life.
"Hey, Nikki."
"Yes, my love?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
"I wish we could stay like this forever."
"Like what?"
"Together. Looking at each other. Holding each other's hand."
"Loving each other."
"Yeah. Like, staying with you means everything to me."
"That means you won't call the police?"
"You took my phone, it's impossible."
"You're right."
"But to be honest, I'm tired. I don't need my phone now."
"Tired? Of what?"
"Reality."
"Let's run away from it."
"How?"
"Follow me."

Moira's POV

I can't believe it. Did we just fuck again? I swear to God, I love him. He's so caring. He even helped me get dressed this morning. But maybe he did so he can undress me again. I knew that he got this gentle side. But as much as I get to know this gentleman inside of him I try not to think about Stacey. Maybe she's in a better place now. With my parents. And I'm here alone. I miss them. Thinking about it makes me sad. I think I want to cry. Seriously? That's why I didn't want to think about it. Nikki's gonna see me crying again.
"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I- um nothing. I just-"
"You're not alone, Moira. I'm here with you."
"I miss my family."
"My one probably hates me still."
"Why do you think they hate you?"
"I think you know about it."
"Well, your father did you wrong. But your mother probably regrets what she's done to you."
"I don't think so."
"When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"When I ran away from her."
"And she didn't even call you?"
"Well, she would call me but that was when I was a drug addict. I remember that Christmas back in 1986 when she told me I was selfish like my father."
"Do you remember him?"
"Kind of."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I was only four years old when I saw him for the last time." Poor Nikki.
"What if he's somewhere else-"
"Let's change the topic please. I feel like I'm being interrogated." Don't tell me I fucked everything up.
"I'm sorry. I just-"
"What?"
"I just wanted to tell you you're not alone."
"You'll leave me one day. I know."
"I won't leave you."

"I'm a bad person. I feel like I'm the Devil himself. Ugly and wicked."
"The Devil can be beautiful. Because he's a fallen angel and he used to be God's favorite."
"Well, then you're the Goddess who threw me out of heaven."
"I'm not a Goddess."
"Yes you are. I hurt you in so many possible ways and look how we ended up. Only God could forgive such sins."
"It's because of the love I have for you."
"You see? People say God is love."
"And you're silly."
"I can live with that. But I can't live without you."
"That's why I'm not leaving you."
"I love you."
"I love you too."

I'm tired. I really am tired of this. I can't live with the guilt within me. I'm lying naked next to the murderer of my sister. I wish he could kill me so I feel less guilty for doing this. Instead of arresting him, I'm laying next to him. I swear I don't know whether he's my dearest lover or my biggest enemy. My mind wants to kill him but my heart tells another story. Stacey once said that when my mind gets clouded I should listen to my heart. Well, I'll let my heart tell the story till it's over. But what if this story is neverending? It's all so complicated. I wish I haven't been born at all.