𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎

Chapter 20

Nikki's POV

I can't believe what happened last week. She came and she said she loved me. Oh God, her kiss. For a moment I thought I would go crazy but then the police ruined everything. Well, at least her mind is messed up. I don't think she's gonna be detective for so long. She's probably dying inside. Her love is killing her ability to think logically. And when she leaves her job I'm gonna be out of prison. Then we can be together, unless she comes up with something else to ruin my plans. Stacey on the other hand. I really wanted to kill her. She's been annoying since the day I saw her. Always curious, just like her sister. But without trust issues, which is even worse. I learned from Tommy that she's a fashion designer wannabe. Yeah, she hadn't spent her childhood watching criminal movies, she had been playing with dolls. But I don't think I'm gonna kill her yet. Maybe I'll just leave her to John. This dude I swear. He's even crazier than me. He was the one suggesting weird ways to kill women. Knifes, breaking bones, etc. But there was that time when he just decided to kill a woman by fucking her non stop. That's what I call insane. Sometimes, this dude creeps me out. I met him when I was in rehabilitation. These drugs can really get you in a company of sick motherfuckers but John once saved my life so...

Moira is here again? Oh wow, she can't stop thinking about me. I guess I can trick her in my arms again.
"Nikki, I have to tell you something." Oh no, she's been crying.
"Go ahead."
"We're not meant to be." I KNEW IT.
"I know. I can see it in your eyes."
"You always know what I think or what I want, why?" Maybe because you're a part of me I don't wanna lose?
"I love you, Moira. I will always do."
"Don't say it, please. You're making it worse." NO. YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE YOURSELF.
"Come on, it's like you don't make things worse for me."
"I think we should stop seeing each other, talking to each other and..." Loving each other? No, please don't do it. I'm already dying inside, don't make it worse.
"And?"
"I don't think I want to love you anymore. I wish we've never met." To be honest, me too. I wouldn't have loved you if I hadn't known you.
"OKAY, FINE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELF. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU AS WELL. I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I GOT THE CHANCE."
"DON'T SHOUT AT ME. It's my last time visiting you. Goodbye Nikki. Or should I say, Frankie." You just made the biggest mistake of your life.
"THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING NAME YOU BITCH. I SWEAR TO GOD MOIRA WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE GONNA BE DEAD." Not you, but your sister's gonna die by your mistake.
"IT'S DETECTIVE ADAMS, YOU ASSHOLE. KNOW WHO YOU DEAL WITH. Police, get him out of my sight." And she just turned into detective again. HOW CONVENIENT.

I can't believe it. She's doing it again. STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS. Blah, feelings. I hate them. That's why I am the man I am. I've always hated feelings. Feelings of anger, despair, hopelessness, hate, love. But why love? Why? And why this feeling has to be hurting me most? This is messed up. Maybe it's because I really wanted to experience that feeling really bad. I've always been ignored and left alone. But when I met Moira, oh God. Her brown eyes just dissolved all hate and anger. But then fear appeared from nowhere. I was scared to tell the truth. Maybe that's what she saw. My fear. And as a person who always suspects it was a matter of time for her to reveal me. And she did it pretty fast. But then she grabbed my hand and led me outside. Her touch... it gave me so many goosebumps I almost screamed out of happiness. I felt happy for the first time in years back then. But when I saw her eyes again I saw so many mixed feelings. She said she didn't wanna see me again. I thought that she meant it but then I said t didn't depend on me. She gave me that look. That scared in love look I gave her when I first saw her. She probably had thought about me after that night.

But now I'm not falling for that. She gave me that look again. I'm not falling for that again. Last time she did that I started drinking even more. I started doing drugs. I even started killing people. Am I gonna repeat all that again? Well, the last thing though. I wanna kill her sister. I'm gonna kill her I swear. Then she's gonna be hurt even more. And after some time I'm gonna kidnap her. I'm gonna make her feel my revenge on her lips. I'm gonna pour out my anger on her neck. And for sure, I'm gonna make her feel my pain afterwards. But there's one thing that disturbs me. What if she's still a virgin? That's gonna be a problem. Her innocence will make me feel weak.