𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎

Chapter 50

Moira's POV

Why? Why is that happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? And this stupid love. I really have to forget him, but it's not that easy. Since the first day we met I've always had only him in my heart. But he broke it again. He tore it apart. And it hurts so bad I can't seem to recover from this. Oh wow, I made such a mess here. Throwing things, smashing stuff, and no knives or needles or guns. It's morning now. The sun begins to shine. Oh no, I don't want the sun. I don't want the sky. I want my sister. I want to hug her and tell her she's the best sister in the world. But she's dead. And it's because of who? Yeah, me. It's my fault. It's my fucking fault. If only I could turn back time. But I can't. I'm so sorry Stacey. I'm so sorry. I should have forgotten him when it wasn't too late. I'm so sorry. It's my fault. But one thing I don't understand. Nikki. I can't understand him. Why is he doing the things he's doing? It's like he's having some brain disorder or something. But the more I start thinking about him, the more I want him to be with me. Oh no, he's knocking on the door.

"Moira, open the door, please. We need to talk."
"There's nothing else to talk about. Go away."
"Please, I want to see you. I really need to see your beautiful face in the sunlight. I promise I won't hurt you anymore."
"Don't make promises you know you can't keep, Nikki."
"Please, open the door. Please." Don't you dare crying Nikki, you're gonna make it worse.
"Leave me alone."
"I can't. It's really hard to leave when I know my other part is from the other side of the door." I'm no one else's other part. Shut up.
"Go away or I swear I'm gonna beat the shit out of you."
"Open. The. Door." He's knocking on that fucking door really loud, my ears are hurting.
"I won't."
"Moira, don't make me break into your room."
"And what you're gonna do? Kill me? Go ahead. I'm waiting for this moment since I saw your stupid face under that mask."
"OPEN THE DOOR."
"GO THE FUCK AWAY." Oh no, he broke into the room. He's really angry. Ouch, get away from me, fuck. My arm is hurting.
"Get away from me."
"You're coming with me." I hate his room already.

"LEAVE ME ALONE." Moira shouted in pure frustration.
"SHUT UP."
"OR WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME?"
"Worse than that."
"What could be worse? RAPE ME?"
"You know I'd never do that. Try with "love you". It's really worse."
"Oh, you think it's worse for you to love me?"
"No. But it's worse for you, isn't it?" Saying that, Nikki stepped closer to her face.
"What are you doing, Nikki?"
"Admiring your face. Why? I don't have the right to look you in the eyes or something?" Nikki touched her little reddened cheek. When she shivered from his touch, he said:
"It's not in my nature to hit you. That's a stupid mistake I will never repeat. Look at you. All beautiful and appealing. So sad I can't make you as happy as you deserve to be. Sometimes, I wonder how you still love such a monster like me. You deserve so much better. Maybe someone who can love you without breaking every single part of your heart. But how can you call it love if it doesn't hurt you?"
"Nikki, please don't-"
"Shh, don't cry. You cried enough. I know you feel so bad, but at least we can talk it all out. You remember our last argument?"
"When you killed my sister?"
"Now we don't talk about her. We talk about us."
"But she-"
"She's in a better place now. Tommy wasn't the best for her. It was just a matter of time before he would have started harassing her. And besides, it wasn't me who actually put the poison in her glass. It was John."
"But you were the person with the plan."
"I know. But also I didn't want to kill her with my own hands. It would have been so disrespectful to you if I had killed her using the hands that want to touch you."
"I'm tired of this. I'm really tired."
"Then take a break and let me help you."

Nikki hugged her tightly. The smell of his perfume was traveling from Moira's nostrils up to her memory lane. Then she remembered that drunken night of kisses. The smell of him was still the same. Moira finally calmed down when Nikki laid her down his bed. Then he said:
"Now, I'm gonna make you breakfast."
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am."
"Then, you want something else?"
"You."
"What?"
"I want you to lay beside me."
"Alright." Nikki did as she wished. When he rested his body on the bed, Moira put her head on his chest. Nikki rubbed her head with such tenderness and love Moira felt whole again.
"Hey, Moira. May I show you something?"
"Yes." Nikki reached out for the suitcase under the bed. When he opened it, Moira saw all those papers and scribbles he wrote. She started reading the poems. When she found the poem called "Without you" she said:
"Are you a poet or something? How are you writing these?"
"I have inspiration."
"Since when you're writing poems?"
"18."
"What?"
"I had a dream about becoming a musician but..."
"Drugs ruined it?"
"And my mother."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Nah, you don't have to."
"Why don't you give some of these to some musician or..."
"Oh, I've given some lyrics before."
"Now that's interesting. I haven't thought of you as a man of art. That's... Just wow."
"You're smiling."
"What?"
"You're smiling, you're- oh God I missed that smile." Nikki said as he took another piece of blank paper and started writing yet another poem.