Euphoria x Melancholy

does it even matter?

Whether on a lonely night under a starless sky, trapped in a cage, the so called home, i cry like the bird you watch, you observe everything yet you derive joy from one's disadvantage

Or whether in a seamlessly contagious loveless wandering over the deathly desserts, you meet me saying you care, offer to bring me outta my nightmare, and yet when I'm thirsty, all you do is stroll far away and offer no water to share

Does it even matter, if I'm living in a nightmare?

You say journey is more beautiful than destination, but my life looks dull than death, no that life ain't just a cause of procrastination like it was for you;
Those with fountains of love and castles of care tell beggars to enjoy instead of crying without any teary eyes to stare.

You speak language of the riches, of the eases, a lil bit of your pain teaches, but a lot of it numbs my screeches. Those with cure to their diseases says to another without cure, "It's nothing", but the staggering loneliness breaches as my soul wanders thru abandoned ghost - beaches.

You spit poison from your mouth, rudeness drips down your tongue for they taught you to adjust to living in a gutter of toxicity, you look lustrous as the water shines in the streetlights but lack of sweet within your fragrance, and so you hate when i complain "Why do people don't fight for any betterment?"

When you say that you love me,
Does it even matter if you never treat me inside a "we"?

When you say that you're a friend
Does it even matter if you put efforts to make me feel secure enough to vent?

When i said that i loved you,
Does it even matter if you slaughter me instead of leaving me alone?

When i said I'll stay with you,
Does it even matter if you respect to touch a passing-by stone pavilion,
One among a million they say for loved ones, like me, but they didn't directly said -- one "among" a million!

You all had a million more choices like me, ain't that so? So i found the answer,
All my tears, love and wishes were to go to vain, i treated you so big while you made me fell small,

Like a refreshing serene stream i passed by,
While your broken wisdom
Collecting pebbles so random.

So does it matter that i no more care about you?

Would you mind if the moon was no more there, because you treated it like it was just another tiny dot in the sky which you could ask anything from, without giving back a loving stare.

So, does it even matter if you need a tide to run your ship, when mine was wrecked under the trench when you were sailing, enjoying the surfs ?

When i am trying, dying, crying,
Surviving, breathing, existing, loving,
For you needed me, but you couldn't respect it,
Does it even matter to me, if your sun suddenly disappears leaving your life in a forever of nights you were busy cherishing with others once ?

Enjoy the forever,
Here i bid you a farewell,

Everlasting night

For I won't reappear for your needs,
Even if your world ends in an ice age again

When you've already broken the ties

Does it even matter?