Beautiful Days

Chapter 50 -Shared Grief-Shared Strength-

(Esme's POV)

As fast as my strength had come while talking with Marcus, it left again as soon as he had been gone. We all sat in the living room of the luxurious suite in expensive ball gowns and tuxedos and we would have looked perfect for strangers, but we all had to fight our own demons, nothing could help you with that...

We were all so troubled and overwhelmed by Marcus' words that everyone dealt differently with it. Carlisle paced around in front of the panorama window, looking over Los Angeles at night, he looked so distraught and sometimes I could even see anger flicker over his face. Edward was leaning against the grand piano and absentmindedly let his fingers glide over the keys without uttering a sound.

Jasper and Alice were huddled up on the couch and just looked at each other from time to time while being in their own world. Emmett leaned against the back wall, the farthest away from me; he looked deeply in thought as he from time to time looked at Rose. She was pacing around the room like her father, but murmured something under her breath, sometimes loud enough for me to understand and sometimes too quiet.

What they all had in common was the other world they were in, they all tried to escape reality in some way, but I couldn't... I was painfully too aware of the entire situation. I wasn't numb because I could feel every emotion tearing at my heart and patience. I simply couldn't tune everything out, it was impossible.

I felt the emotions of everyone in the room and they weighed me down even more. The only one always staying calm and the voice of reason was pacing around deeply in thought and clearly worried. I had always looked at Carlisle whenever I felt helpless and he miraculously lifted all weight off of me.

As I looked at him now, he looked just as lost as I felt. He held his face in his hands and stopped at the window, supporting his weight against the glass. Carlisle turned away from me and the rest and I felt utterly alone in that moment. I sighed soundlessly and slumped down in the cushions. No one noticed nor looked at me, looked at anyone actually.

My thoughts wandered to my children at that moment... Carlie's laughter and smile whenever she looks at me, Haven's sweet coos anytime he sees us. And then I felt grateful that they were safe and not here with us as hard as it was for us. We couldn't be the parents we wanted to be for them in our state, instead Charlie and Sue took in that role... Nevertheless I worried so much. I craved to have them in my arms...

The tears threatened to come, but I fought against them and remembered what I had always done to soothe Carlie and Haven. I soundlessly got up and walked over to the piano, where Edward leaned against. He looked up questioningly as I walked in his direction. I smiled slightly as I walked past him and sat down on the bench. I hadn't played for so long...

Edward turned around to face me curiously and I noticed the sparkle in his eyes and a warm smile as he got what I wanted to do. I sighed and just began playing. It was my grandma's lullaby that I had learned to play with her in my childhood, it had been the first time I'd played. I was utterly focused on the song and its melody as I closed my eyes and effortlessly let my fingers play.

The sound that brought me back was Carlisle's relieved sigh. I looked at him and noticed how he slowly relaxed and turned around to face us. I smiled and closed my eyes again...

 I let the melody slowly fade into my lullaby and I noticed another person playing with me and as I opened my eyes, Edward smiled warmly at me as we played together.

We played till Edward let it slide into Renesmee's lullaby and Bella walked over to us to hug Edward from behind. Carlisle finally let go of the window and walked over to me. It felt like an eternity until he finally laid his hand on my shoulder and I felt whole again by his touch. I sighed and leaned back against him. He sighed as well and laid his head on mine.

Rosalie took Emmett's hand and walked over to us as well. Bella sighed and hugged Rose close. Emmett laid his hand on Edward's shoulder and smiled.

Jasper got up with Alice in his arms and supported much of her weight as he walked over to us. Carlisle and Rosalie took her between them and Jasper stood behind Alice.

Our individual grief and sadness was shared in that moment and I felt the strength return. We had a chance and we will take it.

It is quite short in comparison to the other chapters, but I wanted to show how the Cullens deal with the conversation with Marcus before they are able and strong enough to face Aro. Esme helped the Cullens very much with her spontaneous play :) Thanks for reading!

(The song is the lullaby that Esme and Carlisle sang to their children on their last day together, it means very much to them and Esme)

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