A (not so) Normal Life of Best Friends

Chapter 42: Trapped in a Loop

Evelyn Valentine

I'm so tired right now. It feels like I've been here for hours, but it's only been ten minutes. Why can't I just get over the feelings I have and go on? I can't tell if it's trying to drag me down or push me up. All I can tell is, it doesn't help the nervousness of my anxiety from acting up. I don't know whether I should feel safe or feel as if something might happen. I just don't like being alone in these situations. It feels as if I'm just the only one around that notices this feeling I'm having. I always notice these little things easily, but sometimes, when I do notice them, it's almost as if people distance themselves from me. I mean, I did run into Luna and the others that one day while they were having their, "Group Chat". So of course they would try to stay farther away, I recorded them and showed the others. Phoenix wanted to choke me for not just calling her and telling her about Aeliana, but thank god for Kyrie being there with her. That's another thing, I've been a bit jealous that they have a significant other, while I'm just stuck here with no one. After Luna and I split up, I was more mopey than I usually was. It stayed like that till my Older Brother talked to me about it and it made me feel happy that at least I had him. Then, after he went off to the military, it was back to me being alone again. I didn't wanna tell my parents how I felt, because I thought that they would just pass it off as not that big of a deal. I've been trapped in a loop in my head, as I feel this happen over and over within months. Luna was the comet that had landed right into my heart, but now it feels like she's just flown away across the sky again. I had settled on Kyrie for a little while, but even she wasn't able to make me forget my feelings for Luna. Since that Valentines Day, her hair has grown out. It's down her back and covers one of her grey eyes. I have voices in my head, arguing, whether it was my fault we broke up or not. Even with this intense arguing in my head, I never had a real answer for myself. I don't even think she remembers when we were together, maybe she's trying to forget I ever existed.

Luna Eclip

I don't want Evelyn to feel sad about what happened between us. I wanna make him feel better, but then the others would find out and never let me here the end of it. While I'm basically forced to stay away from him, Aeliana has no choice whether she can be around Phoenix or not. They literally live together, so that can't be helped. All I can really do now is look through things in my room and see if I can find any old memories. I looked down from my bed and, wow, I got some big ass feet. No wonder I needed bigger shoes than Evelyn. I have no idea why I'm pointing this out, but I should focus on what I'm trying to do, jog old memories. As I looked through the picture folder I made for us on my phone, I saw one that really struck me. The one photo we kissed in, which was actually the only time we kissed. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or just weirded out by this. Probably both at this point. So, I can't really make him feel better in person, but if I texted him, he probably wouldn't think I'm being serious. I don't know what to do right now, it's so confusing to think of what you want to do right knowing you'll probably do something wrong in the process. I guess nature will just have to take its course on this part. While the whole group is somewhat the same, Tim's been acting, how do I put this lightly, off lately. He always seems to be looking behind him as if something's there, but when he looks, there's nothing to be seen. I'm actually concerned about this. What if one of us looks back and there's someone there or it's something we don't wanna see. It could be all around us, as if we're trapped in a loop. We could be reliving it over and over again till it drives us completely insane. It does seem like the world cuts out and repeats days sometimes. Maybe, even the universe itself. Well, I don't have much to go on with that theory, besides, someone else probably already thought of it before me a long time ago. Now that I think about it, Tim looks behind himself a lot just like Scout does, especially in the dark. I guess I can probably nap it off, but I can't help but feel that all this is either connected or something completely different than what we thought it was.