Finally Found Her (Completed)

Chapter 20: Separation // Jasmine

Does two chapters in one day make up for me posting a day later than I said...crossing my fingers x

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Jasmine's POV

I ran my fingers through my hair as I sat at my kitchen table trying to eat breakfast. I want a repeat of the other morning when I ate my breakfast sitting on Ryder's lap. I want him here to wrap his arms around my waist. I want him to sneakily kiss my neck while no one is watching. I want to tease him by getting off his lap, knowing he wouldn't have it, so he can grab me and spin me around before sitting me back down.

I don't know how little of sleep I got last night. It was so hard trying to get some rest with the separation. I was craving his touch. It's like I need it or else I don't feel right. Saying that a couple weeks ago would have scared me. A couple weeks ago I was trying not to let my feelings grow. I thought I was falling for him too quickly and it wasn't normal. But then I realized I love him. I love Ryder. It doesn't matter how quickly you fall in love with someone. You can't turn off feelings like a switch, you can't control them. You have to accept them, so I did. And God it got so much easier. Instead of questioning how abnormally warm his body made me feel, I enjoyed the warmth. Instead of telling myself I should be cautious about what I tell him, words came out without a second thought. It felt good to finally accept our relationship and my feelings for him.

A werewolf. He can be human one second then an animal the next. I remember exactly how it looked to see him shift. How it started at his head then quickly went to his feet. But I also vividly remember him sinking his teeth into the other werewolf's flesh killing him in a second. Never in my life did I think I would see him kill someone. That werewolf was also a person, just like Ryder. But even though it scared me, I can't help but remember how different Ryder looked from the other wolf. Ryder is...well he's beautiful. His dark fur looked so soft against the moonlight. His eyes didn't look scary and yellow like the other wolf, his looked eyes looked into my eyes with dark brown ones. The color of his eyes when he's human. I was scared for a second but once his eyes looked into mine, I felt fine. It was like I could see my Ryder even though he wasn't exactly, well, human. After the fear subdued I was just frozen in shock.

Mates. We're mates. I'm still not entirely sure how it works but I'm not gonna lie, when Ryder explained to me that we're soulmates, it warmed my heart. My whole body felt like I was in bliss despite the situation that had occurred before. Lauren was right, being someone's soulmate is far more special than just being someone's girlfriend. Does the fact that we're mates explain how I could feel the pain he was in before I even knew what happened to him? Does the fact that we're mates explain why I feel all these things towards him? I wanted to know why I felt this way so quickly, and now I know. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat.

I immediately feel guilt thinking about when I accused Ryder of not loving me, because he hadn't told me about this sooner. I just felt so lied to. He had seen me at my most vulnerable yet I hadn't seen all of him.

Laying in my bed last night, not being able to sleep, I realized that he couldn't just spring this fact on me. I get that he had to wait, so I don't know why I'm still upset. Maybe it's because the lack of honesty between my parents is why they don't have the best relationship. But Ryder and I aren't like my parents. Ryder and I have more than that. He looks at me with adoration. He holds me like he wants to protect me from every bad thing in the world. He touches me like I'm a work of art. Ryder makes me feel like I'm special. He makes me feel like if I didn't exist the world wouldn't be the same. When you find that, you can't leave it.

I suddenly remembered the one morning in Ryder's room when he made my body feel things I hadn't felt before. His hands trailed up and down my bare thighs then under his shirt I had on. It felt amazing when he kissed down my neck, I didn't want it to stop. He didn't have a shirt on and now I'm wishing I didn't either.

Despite the fact that my house isn't hot, my whole body began to get warm. I took off the thick sweatshirt I'm wearing only to become frustrated because it didn't do anything. Why am I so damn hot? Images of Ryder's skin touching mine in an intimate way kept flashing in my mind. Only these aren't from that morning. These ones involved well....a lot of less clothing. The heat of my body is getting worse but now it's getting worse in a certain area. It's getting worse...down there. I squirmed in my seat not being able to get up to get some water to cool myself down. The heat then mixed with a little bit of pain. The pain increased in my lower region and it's intolerable. I closed my eyes trying to focus on anything but sexual things involving Ryder because that seemed to be making it worse. I don't know how long it lasted but with a blink of an eye, the heat and the pain was gone. What the hell just happened to my body?

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Thank you for reading xoxo