When Vanessa Adler took on the position of being Aaron Huxley's assistant two years ago she didn't realize how forever her life would change when things started to spark between her and her boss, when her daily smiles finally start doing something t...
Let it hurt Until it can't hurt Anymore. ~Unknown ______________
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She has been unconscious for twelve hours now, the doctor says she should wake up in at least 48 hours, her body is very tired from what it's going through and it may take some time,
The doctor talked me out of giving her my heart today and instead had me sign papers that say when a donor comes available for me then we can transfer my heart to hers, or when there is no more hope and she needs a heart very badly I'll be there.
I haven't gotten any sleep whatsoever, my hair is a mess from me constantly running my fingers through it, my shirts dried with blood and I'm sure I have dark eye bags from crying and not getting a singular second of sleep, all I've done is talked to the doctor and stayed glued to Vanessa's side.
I've realized that she may have broken up with me because of her heart, and that small possibility creates so much anger...
Why would she do that?
Did she think I wouldn't want her because of her heart, so she chose to leave me first?
Or did she truly not want me?
I don't care about it right now, all I care about is her waking up and me telling her I'm not leaving her side, whether that is as a friend or more, I. will. Not. Leave. Her. Side.
So many things run through my head, the doctor told me the symptoms of heart failure and I began to remember memories that align with the symptoms he told me,
Like how she was always tired even after a short walk, her constant needing to pee at night, her insomnia..though she did sleep with me very well and I take a lot of pride in that, her having shortness of breath from time to time...
It all makes sense and it breaks my heart that she didn't tell me,
Why didn't she tell me? Is the question that constantly runs through my head
In the twelve hours that I have stayed in the hospital, I have annoyed every possible nurse since I keep demanding they do everything to help her and make sure she is not cold and that her IV looks okay, that her pulse looks good, I'm positive they want to strangle me but I don't care...I just want to make sure she's being taken care of.
"I don't know why you didn't tell me about your heart...and it hurts to think that you maybe didn't trust me enough with it, or you thought I would leave you because of it...to be honest, any reason I think of breaks my heart, I spent hours crying...yeah me crying I know, it hurt to know that you would've died and I wouldn't have known, and just so you're aware I will do anything in my power to ensure you stay alive, even if it means I won't be here to see it, I love you too much to let you go, and now that I'm holding your hand again it's not humanly possible for me to move on with my life without you in it" I whisper to her as I hold her hands and put my face in our connected hands where I continue to cry
