|57| allyway

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Everyone has a chapter
they don't read out loud

~Unknown
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                                    ~Unknown                                                         ______________

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I have to tell Henry...

I have to,

He deserves to know,

Yet I find myself completely frozen as I stand at his doorstep, I stare in a daze at the dark grey color of the door, contemplating if I should just do this another day,

My hand goes up on its own accord and before I can process anything, it's already too late because the door is being opened and I'm met with the surprised yet happy gaze of henry,

The minute I meet his joyous gaze I feel a pit form in my stomach thinking about me ruining his happiness, this is one of the reasons I kept this from everyone, this is why I put on a happy façade, it's terrible to see someone's joy melt off there face from the words that were spoken by you,

The unmistakable feeling of regret pushes its way through my lungs, making it difficult to breathe,

"What a lovely surprise Vanessa" his smile is bright and his skin glowing in a healthy blissful way

"Hi henry, is it okay if we speak for a moment?" My tone of voice shows some tremble because his face instantly transforms into a slight shadow of concern

"Of course come on in" he opens the door wider for me, letting me inside his apartment,

It's sleek and pretty plain, I see a picture of him outside Aaron's building with a huge smile on his face, he has two thumbs up as he looks into the camera

He senses my gaze on the photo and stands at my side "that was a picture I had someone take my first day at that job...it was evidence of my life changing, it was so I could pass by this picture every day knowing that I was able to have a second chance at life"

I smile watching him talk, he gets so into it sometimes, like last week when he spoke at the homeless organization and he was so passionate about everything he spoke and everyone loved him,

Each time we speak the homeless seem to have a slight glow appear in their eyes...of hope, hope that they can overcome their lows and get back on their feet.

"I know that Aaron and you did everything...but I am still also proud of myself, that I never gave up on the streets and I held my head high" his voice cracks at his words

"You should be proud of yourself, you're working hard and you're proving to your wife and daughter that you're not a quitter and that you'll live your life for them" we move to his couch as I speak but his steps falter at the mention of his wife and daughter

"You really think they'd be proud?" His voice is so vulnerable and it breaks me to think he still blames himself for things that we're out of his control,

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