Lost In My Mind

Emotions

Emotions. Why do we have yo have them? I absolutely hate showing my emotions. I dont like to open up to people because I don't want to seem weak. In fact I can't remember the last time I cried at a movie theater. In fact I don't think I have ever cried in a movie theater. My heart is cold. Nothing can ever change that. Trust me I've tried.

If you don't believe me, just hear me out.

It was maybe a year and half ago. I had fallen I love with a boy. I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite. Ok I fell in "love " with a boy. He was everything a girl wanted. He was cute, athletic, and out going. I don't know why I fell head over heels for him though . Anyways that's not the point. Well it turns out he wasn't as trustworthy as I thought. He went behind my back and made rumors about me. I don't want to get into the details but let's just say it was bad. I was bullied physically, mentally, and emotionally. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had decided to "run away". I had moved out of state, went to a new school, started a clean slate. I had become a rock. I no longer showed emotions. I had blocked everyone out. Distanced myself. Never made new friends. When people tried to talk to me, I just brushed them off. I don't need anybody. I just kept to myself. It's just me and my thoughts. As humans we ruin everything we touch. Including each other.

But when Marcus talked to me,I actually talked back. I was surprised with myself. I hadn't replied to people since I came to this school.

No Holly. Don't let it get to your head. He just said hi that was it. Now we just never talk again. Keep your mouth shut. You don't need anybody in your life right now. In fact I'm not ready to show to talk to anybody.

It doesn't matter he probably won't talk to me again. I know he won't. I'm just a nobody. I'm a mute.