Deception

Chapter: Fifteen

Chapter: Fifteen

I heaved one last time as I empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. The first two days I thought it was simply relieving all the stress I'd gone through lately. Now, on the third day, I realize it may be a problem. I don't want to eat anything and what I do eat I want to throw up. I hoped I was done with doing that, but apparently, it was here again and I just hoped I could stop.

Just another day and Henry and Megan should be back. I hope the visit home helped them and that they could return without dealing with as much heartache as before. Of course, with grief, I know that won't be possible. Selfishly enough, I want them back here to feel normal. Things had been so strange lately. It would be New Year's Eve tomorrow, but time had already changed so much. I missed Greg, Susan, and especially Abel so unbelievably much as everyone did.

I hadn't seen the guys or Clary since the incident at home. So far, they all seemed to honor my request for space. Tamron, Max, Lily, and Aubrey were still staying with us, although Aubrey had spent last night staying at Mom and Victor's. I hated even thinking that. The latter wasn't actually there, much to my relief. Although that just made me fear where he could be, considering I hadn't seen him either.

However, I didn't mind it. I still recalled the night he'd sat on top of me and my body couldn't move. I never wanted to be that helpless or feel the things my body had wanted to feel. My body missed Niles's touch, our sex. Actually, my heart missed Niles even more. Cuddling with him used to comfort me so much. Despite my anger, I liked to imagine the feel of his arms around my body because I wouldn't picture Liam's.

A plethora of things seemed to have happened since that time. The night Liam and Niles left, I'd gone outside to see how everyone else was doing after we'd finished eating the chicken, of course. At Tamron's request, Jay and Mattie watched television with Aubrey to keep her entertained while I spoke with him and Max so we could talk. They seemed upset, although I couldn't decipher at first until Tamron turned to me with a frown on his face.

"We all heard some of what you and Liam were talking about. Niles and everyone else stayed. Actually, he and Loui started to go up a few times just to make sure Liam wasn't being violent, but once they heard you calmed down, they didn't decide to just let you talk. Mattie also stopped Jayden from going up there because they assured them you wouldn't get hurt. I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too," I frowned.

"Do you really think my parents and Abel were meant to die? Was that something that would have happened, anyway?"

"You heard that?" I asked in shame.

"I couldn't hear everything but that I did hear. I've been thinking about it ever since."

The last thing I ever wanted to was hurt anyone with my words and especially him. I never wanted him to have to believe his parents died because it was meant to happen. Admittedly, I wasn't sure how that worked, but I couldn't believe that being murdered was someone meant to die. How could a person murder someone and that be how it was supposed to go? I wouldn't believe that.

It was not meant to happen. Greg and Susan were good people who shouldn't have been killed in cold blood like they were. They loved each other and their family. They needed them, both Aubrey and Tamron, as well. There was also no way I'd ever believe innocent little Abel was meant to die after all that was done to get him here in the first place. To ensure he was born.

They died due to Amon, Lucas, and perhaps Margo's selfish decisions. What had it really mattered to them in the end? They'd all died as well. Whatever they'd hoped had been accomplished hadn't been. Their plans for revenge hadn't worked out. Although somehow in Amon's case, I wondered if he was still proud of himself either way and considered it a sick victory.