Forgive and forget

Breaking down

-Bill's pov-
⚠️before you read self-harm and attempted suicide are in this chapter ⚠️

Me and Shooting Star were arguing about what to do to help Pinetree. No matter how I tried to heal him it didn't work, I was getting frustrated, Alex must have did something to prevent me from using my powers properly. I was panicking and my head was filled was thoughts I couldn't shake. What if he doesn't make it? What if I lose him forever? What if it's my fault? "Bill!" The sound of Shooting Star yelling my name brought me out of my train of thought. She looked at me with tear filled eyes, "please you have to help him" I stared at her "I'm trying alright" I looked down and Pinetree's eyes started drooping more. I light tapped him on the face "no no no no Pinetree, come on stay with me" I began to cry again "you gotta hold on" Pinetree looked at me tiredly and whispered "I'm sorry" and his head drooped down. I shook him "Pinetree? Pinetree come on" the tears started flowing "Pinetree please, haha funny joke now come on" he continued to lay lifeless. "Pinetree please! You can't leave me!" I shook him more. Shooting Star covered her mouth and cried. "Pinetree, Pinetree please! Come back! I love you please you have to come back" Pinetree still was silent and limp. I held him closer to my chest and screamed. The rain began to pour and it started to storm. I kept screamed as loud as my body would allow. My throat became sore and I dropped my head and rested it on Pinetree's. Shooting Star wrapped her arms around me and cried, I did the same. I held both of the twins and cried like a little weakling. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" my voice shook, "sorry for what?" Shooting Star asked with tears still running down her face. "I'm sorry I couldn't save him, I'm sorry I let this happen" I looked down and let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry I even came into your guy's lives" I was expecting her to agree that my existence was the problem, but she grabbed me and held me tightly, "none of this is your fault, you hear me? You didn't do anything, and you know Dipper would say the same" "but-" Shooting Star interrupted me and put a finger to my lips. "Pinetree was never really happy you know, sure he'd smile and laugh but he was never truly happy, not even with me, he wasn't the social butterfly I am so I was kind of his only friend, but he wasn't my only friend, sure he was one of my best friends but he wasn't my only one, so I was gone a lot with my other friends" Shooting Star looked at Pinetree. "He wanted to do so much but he was scared to do it all alone, he asked me to things with him but I was always busy doing my own thing" she started crying again but continued speaking. "He was never happy in the city, so we when we were sent here to Gravity Falls he was the happiest boy I've ever seen. Now even though he didn't like the city that was what he was used to so he struggled a bit getting the hang of being in the country" she smiled "but boy when he got used to being here he went on so many adventures, since I didn't have friends I hung around him and went on his adventures with him and we had so much fun. But even though he was so much happier than he was in the city there still seemed to be something missing. It was like he was searching for something" Shooting Star looked up at me. "Then we met you, and ever since we did Dipper was fascinated with you, he doodled you all the time in his journals, he talked about you all the time about how cool and scary you were, he said you were the adventure he was searching for all along". I stared at her blankly, she gave me a small smile and continued. "He always told me how cool it would be if you were our friend, he always said he wondered what your human form would look like and all the good stuff. I started thinking he got a crush on you, but whenever I asked he would avoid the question or say no, I never thought he'd be gay" she laughed "eventually he came out as gay but only for you, he couldn't find anyone else male or female, only you" she stopped talking for a moment and wiped some tears away from her eyes, I stared at the lifeless Pinetree laying next to me, I brushed his hair back revealing the birthmark I always loved. "You know, even when you tried to kill us, Dipper still talked about how cool you were, he was so confident that he'd be able to make you change no matter what anyone else told him, don't take this the wrong way but I thought you would always be the evil Dorito you were, but here you are, my brothers greatest treasure". I kind of smiled at her little name for me... Pinetree's greatest treasure huh?