What Are We?

xx

Texting my sister lifted my mood and given me some clarity albeit the sexual suggestions. She's hilarious. I can't believe we 'talked' aka exchanged emojis like that. It feels good to speak to someone about this.

Jin called me just before 10pm to tell me that he's just about to head home. He's working so hard but he said it's actually not comparable to when they were active as a group. It's not only mentally exhausting it's also physically and emotionally challenging. But he said he won't exchange it for the world. He loves their fans so much and wants to get back to them as soon as possible and in working in the corporate side of the company, he hopes he can contribute to giving quality and relevant content or products to Army. He's thought about this a lot and works hard for it. I can hear the exhaustion in his voice as we spoke.

"Hey we should go to bed now."

"Eh? I'm not tired."

"Liar. I can tell you are. It's ok I'm starting early tomorrow as well so I need to turn in too."

"Ok. I'll see you soon."

Silence.

"You still there?"

"Yeah. Uhmmm.. Jimin called me yesterday right. He asked me for your number."

My mind went blank.

"I gave it to him by the way. I hope you don't mind."

"No that's fine." Finally I was able to speak. I should have spoken sooner cause I felt the hurt in his voice. "Haven't heard from him though."

"I'll send you his number."

"You don't have too. I don't need to.."

Bzzz. He sent it already.

"Aaaahh" he yawned. "I'm so tired. I'll sleep now. Good night."

End call.

He didn't even give me a chance to tell him I'm not going to call him anyway. I don't need that number. Why is he like this? Giving me Jimin's number? I thought he doesn't want to be a place keeper? Why is he pushing me to Jimin? I want to talk to him but I can't get myself to dial his number. The cold glass screen of my phone is searing my forehead, when it suddenly rang. I quickly picked up the phone thinking I've manifested him calling.

"Hey! I'm glad you called back."

"Oh it's Jimin."

I looked at my phone screen. It's just a phone number. No name. Not Jin's.

"Oh hi!"

"Sorry you were expecting a call from someone else."

"No no it's ok. I'll just call them back later."

Of course I lied.

"Cool. How are you anyway? I hope it's ok that I got your number from Jin hyung."

"No problem. He told me it's ok. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just thought we haven't really talked after I left Jejudo. I mean we briefly talked before I left." He paused. "I didn't want to leave you confused after that night," Our kiss. "so I thought maybe we should talk."

"Oh that." my heart is racing. I didn't expect him to call about that. What does he want to talk about? I don't have anything to say.

"Obviously not over the phone. I hope we can meet? You have time tonight."

It's almost midnight. People from the entertainment industry do have odd hours and Jimin is known to be a night owl, more like a super early bird who sleeps once the sun rises.