Life Series #2
You want to be recognized by someone you like, but you don't want to be noticed by someone who doesn't want to pay attention to you and you can't do anything because you badly like them. You want the person you like to pay attention o...
"Aren't you going home?" Zia asked through the phone call.
"Nope." I simply answered.
Back then, I decided not going home at the Philippines. Mayroon isang gabi na naisip 'kong huwag nang bumalik sa Pilipinas. But I took it back because I knew I would miss everyone there. My family and friends. Isa pa hindi ko matiis na hindi puntahan si Bella. I know she misses me now and I miss her too.
These days I've thought that I can't live here in Italy forever. I may have peace in here but I have my happiness in the Philippines. My family and friends are there. Noon pa nga lang umalis ako papuntang Italy nasasaktan na ako dahil mapapalayo ako sa kanila, heto pa kayang hindi ako bumalik.
It's been what? 8 years?
But now, I lied to Zia. I'll come home because it's Zia's wedding. I planned on going home last year for Cassy's wedding and Zia's baby shower but it got canceled because I still have some things to process and it took months to be finished. So now, I'm finally going home. Next month to be exact.
"Oh, okay. It's fine. Sav's just gonna send you some photos." She said smiling but I knew she was sad. I looked at her reaction through the video call.
"Okay, thank you, Zi. And sorry." I apologized.
"It's okay. It's my fault, though. Matagal mo naman nang nasabi sa kin na wala hindi ka na talaga uuwi but I still asked you to come home." There she is again, blaming herself.
"Hey, it's fine. I know you all missed me. But, you know... I don't have a plan for going home. I'm sorry." I lied.
We talked so long and I could sense the sadness in her voice. I know she wanted me to come home. Pero trip 'kong paiyakin siya bago ikasal, so, i-susurprise ko siya. I ended that call feeling so guilty for lying.
After years of being in Italy, I finally got to adjust to this country. I learned a lot. I love pasta now. I also work as a barista at Starbucks for years. Hindi ko 'rin kasi kayang walang trabaho rito habang bayad ni Daine 'yung ibang expenses. I worked hard to buy foods. Minsan inaaya ko si Kath na lumabas labas kami kasi masyadong malaki 'yung kinikita ko. We go to parties sometimes. Minsan kasama ko siyang gumala rito. I also had a lot of friends here so we go out a lot of times.
My hair is short now. Hanggang leeg ko na lang 'to. I decided to cut it last month because I kept long hair for years and I was not used to keeping hair so long so I always cut it every year at neck length. I also changed my hair color to lavender blonde.
At first I wanted to color it blonde, pero ayoko naman mag-mukhang foreigner pag-uwi ko ng Pipilinas kaya lavender na lang. Also, Kath suggested it. Noong una hindi ko ma-imagine kun g bagay ba sa akin pero I trusted Kath on this. I kept in a curly and wavy hair.
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And for my writing, I wrote a lot of stories and it always has a lot of reads. Some of my readers wanted me to have a book signing but I never revealed myself and I don't have a plan to publish my book yet. Signing books is fun and an amazing feeling but I'm still not ready to see my readers. I still doubt myself.
