Baler | 𝘓𝘶𝘸𝘰𝘰 (VVS #1)

40 - Alone

Hindi lang ako makapaniwala. How come Stan is here? He doesn't even live here!

"Did you two talk?" Tanong ko.

Umiling siya.

So he has no idea? Nakita niya lang rin siguro. Sabi niya naman first time niyang makita si Stan dito. I just hope that he's not with his twin... or he's not associated with anyone here.

"Kakausapin mo ba?" Balik niyang tanong.

Ngumisi ako. "I don't even want to see him."

Sure he did not do anything to me. But he just reminds me of what happened before. Ayoko lang talaga na magulo pa ako lalo't hindi pa nakakapagsimula.

"Okay. Huwag na lang natin pansinin kung sakali. We're going to leave tomorrow morning." Ngumiti siya.

Totoong payapa sa buong Villa. Sa sobrang pagod ko ay nakatulog na agad ako sa room namin. Hindi ko namalayan kung anong oras natulog si Kun dahil connecting rooms ang gamit namin. He went out and drink, I think.

My headaches from overthinking every night have long been gone. I do not take any herbal drugs anymore. Just some melatonin or gummies to help me sleep at night.

As he said, we went to a different destination. I didn't see Stan again that day.

We decided to camp in Anawangin Cove. It's pretty much better than staying inside your Hotel room. There are a lot of things to do, which is very tiring as I think about it. It turns out good anyway. We strolled along the inlet in the afternoon. It's a good thing to divert my attention until the end of our outing.

"D'you need some bodyguards?" He asked playfully.

I rolled my eyes at him. I know he meant it.

"No. I am good on my own. I'll apply after you leave. But I'll be commuting from my house to the office if ever..."

"I'll let you borrow my car-"

"Hindi na. Gusto ko masanay!" Tumawa ako.

Umiling siya. "Mas tipid nga may sasakyan!"

Isang sakayan lang naman iyon kaya ayos lang siguro. Pero mapilit siya. After our two days staycation, we're still arguing.

"Ayos nga lang hanggang Guagua! I rented a driver!" Utas niya.

Pero ang totoo, ayaw talaga magpahatid! Kinabukasan, may sumundo na sa kaniyang SUV dito mismo sa bahay. Hindi na tuloy ako nakapalag. Umalis na siya at naiwan na akong mag-isa ulit.

Now that I think about it, I don't know anyone else here! It's more nerve-wracking than living in Australia. I don't want to reconnect with my other friends anymore. I lost interest. And I can't differentiate the traitor from the good ones. It's better here, anyway. No politics. No guns and rules. Just a simple life in a rural area. I got a job and a house. Isn't that great?

It's bearable.

Hanggang sa araw ng pagpapasa ko ng resume at interview. Pinagkakaabalahan ko na lang ang pagkuha ng mga papeles ko para kapag natanggap, mas madali na ako makapag-umpisa. Naayos ko na nga lahat sa loob ng dalawang linggo at naghihintay na lang. Naging madali rin ang pagtira ko dito kahit na walang kausap. Lumalabas ako minsan at bumibisita sa mga tourist spots dito sa malapit. Since napapaligiran ako ng mga resort at hostels, payapa ang buhay.

My house is located in a secluded village and it's quiet safe. Kahit napapaligiran ng mga puno, hindi gaanong nakakatakot. Malapit lang din sa highway kaya madaling bumiyahe.

Three weeks have passed since I received an email for my final interview. Madali ko lang iyon nairaos. And as expected, natanggap ako. I just gave all my requirements today. And I'm having a little celebration for a new start.

I think I drink too much. Alone.

Tumawa ako.

Someone's calling. I expected it to be my friend. He's the only one who knows my number anyway.

"Oh? Balik ka na dito?" Tumawa ako.

"Les?"

Unti-unting nawala ang ngisi ko sa labi nang marealized na hindi si Kun iyon.

It's my brother.

"Les? I know you're in the Philippines... Can we meet?"

Hindi agad ako sumagot. Sa inis ay pinatay ko agad ang tawag. Pati ang phone ko.

"I don't want any of you!" Sigaw ko sa tabing dagat.

Napaupo ako sa buhangin at nahiga. Umiikot na ang mundo.

The stars look visibly gorgeous. I want to reach it with both my hands but It's too far. But it looks really shiny that my eyes are probably gleaming.

This is the life I've been longing for.

I can't believe that being alone is better. Even if you're struggling, you got your own time to decide and think carefully.

Alcohol.

I stopped taking drugs. And I'm slowly getting Dunhills out of my life. My alcohol intake is just for occasions. But there's one thing that I'm still obsessed with.

I closed my eyes and let the wind surpass my bad ideas.

Not yet...

Hindi pa ako-

My eyes widened when an arm suddenly hug my body and carry me. Umangat ako bigla mula sa buhangin at napakapit sa kung sino mang puta ang bumuhat sa akin!

Umiikot pa ang mundo ko bago unti-unting naaninag ang mukha niya. Sabay kaming nagmura nang magkatitigan.

The moment that I remember his eyes, time just stops. My heart started to pound and I'm afraid he will hear it. His lips are half opened and it amazes me how he still looks the same.

Pigil ang hininga ko at hindi nakagalaw.

He looks problematic. Worried and angry, but there's a hint of sort emotions in his eyes. Even after a year, I immediately recognize his impertinent gaze. Everything flashbacks. My world suddenly falls back. And my mind went blank.