Baler | 𝘓𝘶𝘸𝘰𝘰 (VVS #1)

50 - Safety and future

Music were heard in the whole event hall. There are people dancing. I can see it from the stairs. Last step when I thought about backing out. I know that I can ignore them but I can't just ignore my brother forever.

May music din naman doon pero iyong classic songs lang. It feels weird. Quite and not agressive. Everyone has their business going on.

Sinuyod ng mata ko ang paligid. The sofa are still full of men unknown. Nilingon ko ang kabilang banda. I saw two more familiar faces on the third sofa. My eyes are keen. I am sure it's them. Hindi doon natapos ang paglibot ng mata ko. Parang may kulang na hinahanap.

Hindi ko lang natapos ang pagmamasid nang may lumapit sa akin. A familiar men. No. I know him. My brother's personal guard.

"Mr. Ian is waiting for you." Aniya at itinuro ang natatakpang maliit na pader.

That was a small bar area at the back.

Iginiya niya ako doon at inignora ko ang tingin ng ibang nakakita sa akin. Mabuti sa dulo kami dumaan kaya kahit hindi marami ang tao dito, hindi ko na sila tinignan pa.

When I reached the bar area, I saw Kuya standing near the railings. Malayo ang tingin at malalim ang iniisip.

Tumabi ako sa kaniya.

He glanced at me. I gave him a stern look but he just smiled a bit.

"Thanks for coming." He started.

I heard him sigh.

We're not actually sweet and flowery. We were all fierce and agressive. We grew up surrounded by strict people. Guns and money, fire and arrows.

"First of all, I'm sorry Les..."

The City is quite and dark. Maybe people were resting since it's weekend. And this province is in an urban area. I wonder why I'm still up.

For all the years I have been leaving our house to party, he always got my back. Everytime I'm in messed, he was also the one that protected me from our father. There are times that I got involved in a bigger scandal. But he was the one who always talk to Dad. I understand it was all my fault. But this time...

"It's all my fault. And I am sorry to tell you that it's not yet done, Les. Dad let you go so that you can be safe... on your own." He explains.

I am in mid crisis again.

"I am safe." I insist.

He chuckled. "You should've stayed in Australia."

"I don't get why you need to join their fucking organization. I don't have any idea of what's going on. You of all people? Is this the reason why your enemies are chasing me? What's your reason, huh? Power?" I questioned.

He look at me intently.

"You know that I won't grow being like Dad." His jaw clenched.

Yeah... you won't.

"You can live in other country too." Kunot noo ko.

And I know It's not easy. Lahat naman tayo napilitan lang. At nasa ideya ko na rin na kaya ka nakikipaglapit sa ganitong mga tao ay gusto mo rin kumawala kay Papa. But why it has to be me?

"Sorry. Hindi ko alam na aabot sa ganito." Aniya. "But... it's not what you think it is, Les."

"Then explain it to me."

Up until now, no one's telling me the truth. Except from little and unconfirmed informations from my friend. That's bare minimum for the whole undiscover.

"Don't tell me you believed the qoute "keep your enemies closer" because that's just bullshit. Why would you set yourself up? Damn it. Huh?" My voice was shaken.

Multiple sighs before he look at me, my brain is still not ready.

"Papa was the one who got me in." Aniya.

My brows furrowed. "Huh?"

"You heard it right. He told me to investigate and I'm..." he paused.

"What?"

"I'm in a deep end, Les. I'm stuck. Gusto ko na rin itigil pero..."

"You are the traitor?" I lowered my voice and my eyes widen.

"What's your deal with them?" I ask again.

"Our safety and future." He did not even stutter. Like he's so sure that it will go according to his plans.

If he betray our father, I don't think anyone of us will be safe. Or at least, until his term ends. What did he choose?

"In ten minutes, this place will be raid." He firmly look at me.

I cursed in the air.

Lumingon ako sa likod.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Gigil kong tanong.

"I set them up. I fucked up. Go to your room now, Les. Don't come out."

"No! What about you?"

Umiling siya.

Nababaliw na ba siya? Edi sinet-up niya rin ang sarili niya! To hell with that! He'd probably lose his position!

"Kuya! Ano ba kasing kaso nila? I can't seem to find anything wrong! Are they criminals? Why can't you say anything? Bakit magpapaiwan ka pa dito? Bumaba ka na rin..." I said irritated.

"It's worse than you think." His eyes were dark. Maybe as dark as his thoughts.

Sumenyas siya sa guard niya. Tinitigan ko siya dahil sa mga sinabi niya ngayong gabi. Parang hindi ko yata kayang bumaba ng hindi siya kasama. Iyon na 'yon? Marami pa akong tanong pern Naiintindihan ko na. At walang ni isa sa amin ang may kasalanan. Bakit kami ang naghihirap ng ganito?

Lumapit si Mr. Zoe sa amin at hinintay ako. Kuya Celestian smiled bitterly. For the first time again, I got to see our resemblance clearly.

"Baba na. Susunod ako." Huli niyang sabi.

Tumalikod siya at naupo sa bar stool. He continue drinking as if nothing happened. His linen sleeves were rolled up to his elbow. He already looks wasted. Damn. He's drinking!?

He can't. I remember him always drinking and smoking when he was still in highschool and college. Our father will always beat him every night. There's one time when he got into an accident that none of us will ever forgot. For that reason, it affected his alcohol intake. It fucking tingles in my heart seeing him this way.

I bit my lower lip.

Lumakad ako ng tuluyan paalis doon. Nawalan ako ng tiwala kahit sa kaniya. Pero bakit sinusunod ko siya ngayon?

Hindi ko na nilingon kung mayroon mang nakakita sa akin. Naglakad ako pababa sa rooftop hanggang sa makarating ako sa kwarto ko.

With my mind and heart rumbling, I close the doors and open the window in the balcony. The room was filled of unknown dark thoughts. I was nervous. My brain is rotting from overthinking. And before I can even calm my self by lighting my dunhill, I already heard multiple gunshots. The ciggarettes fell together with my tears.

I sat on the floor cursing. I lean my head on the  bedside and closed my eyes. My heart hurts too much that I had to crumble the satin clothes that covers my chest.

I cried.

And cried.

I covered my ears until I can't hear it anymore. I punch my chest until I became numb. I cried until my eyes got tired.

The loudest shout was stuck in my brain. It didn't come out. My throat is suffering from vague symptoms of pain from crying. Until my last breath, I am weary and aggitated by my violence emotions.