Lost in Love

Chapter 19 - She's Back

I'm not sure how I feel, seeing Bella, just standing there. I don't know if I should be happy, angry or upset.
I look at the ground, walking along the grass.
Sighing, I open the door, "come on in."
She smiles and my heart flutters. Damn it. No. I don't want to get hurt again. I mean, can I even say again, when this one hasn't stopped? She sits on the couch, and I lean against the door frame. I don't want to be the first one to say anything. Hell, I wouldn't even know what to say.
She looks so anxious and sad. I want to go and sit down beside her, and wrap my arms around her. All I really want is to be back to normal, have her back to being mine.
Her breath picks up a bit, I can see her chest moving more rapidly than normal. "Okay. Luna, I'm really sorry for the last few weeks." She stops and takes a deep breath. "My parents came to the school on our last day, and were beyond angry that I hadn't come home, not that they wanted me there anyway. They then made their point that I am still 17, which means I'm still a minor. So they still have authority over me."
I'm not sure what I should say. Instead, I move to the couch, and place my hand on her leg.
"I got stuck staying at the house all day, everyday. They didn't want me 'taking off,' and I wasn't allowed my phone." She is getting more upset with every word she says. "I wanted to leave. I wanted to text you, but I couldn't." Her voice is breaking.
I know I need to say something. Make her know I'm not just humouring her. "How did you manage to come here?" I don't want to be mean, I just don't want her parents to be more pissed off at her for being here.
"No one in my house gets up until at least 6:30, so I just left a note saying that I went to school early today."
I pick up my phone, it's almost 3am, and we have to be up in the morning. While I want to just say, let's stay home and not go to school, I know she needs to go. Otherwise, her dad will get a call, saying she isn't there.
"I'm so sorry that I didn't talk to you at school, I just-"
I had to cut her off, "you have no reason to be apologizing, honestly. It was your parents that made you stay away from me."
"I still could have said something when we started school up again."
I put my arm around the back of the couch, around where she is.
She leans towards me, hesitant, but backs up to where she was before. Do I say that it's okay? That I don't mind her laying with me?
I move closer to her and properly put my arm around her. She follows and lays her head on my shoulder. My hand is resting on her right leg. I feel her hand brush across mine. I try not to acknowledge it, I don't want her to get more anxious than she already is.
It didn't take her long after to intertwine her fingers in mine. I can't help smiling. I have missed this so much.
She seems more relieved now, but still quite upset. I keep glancing down at her, wanting so badly to kiss her, but I can't. While we are where we are now, I'm not sure what is going to happen after this.
She fell sleep while we're sitting here. We hadn't said anything in a while, and it was late.
Shit. I opened my phone quickly before going to sleep too.
R: are you okay?
Luna?
Where are you?l
L: I'm so sorry
Things got... interesting when I got home
R: I'm never letting you walk home from my house alone again
L: dramatic. You can't do jack about how I choose to get home
R: I can still walk with you, whether you like it or not.
so, it got interesting?
L: there is too much to tell over text. I'll tell you at school
Speaking of, I don't need a ride in the morning.
R: ok. Goodnight luv
Go get some actual sleep
L: ugh. Fine. Goodnight
I move, so I can be more comfortable, setting my phone down behind me.
Bella shifts, "sorry, I'll move," I can barely hear her whispering.
"Oh, no, it's okay. I just need to move my leg, so it isn't bent anymore."
"Oh, okay."
I lean sideways on the couch, and she lays on top of me, nestling her head into my chest.
Before I know it, my alarm is going off. I look around and she isn't here. All of her stuff is though, so I know she hasn't completely left.
I go into the kitchen to make my lunch, that's when I see her, sitting on the front steps. I grab my jacket and go out there too.
"Good morning," I sit down beside her but she remains silent.
I put my arm around her, and she leans against me.We sit there for a while, before we go to get ready.
She comes out of the bathroom in one of my hoodies.
"I was wondering where that went," I smirk at her.
She returns it with her own smile, "sorry about that."
"It's alright, it looks better on you anyway."
"I seriously doubt that."
I instinctually bite my bottom lip, smirking. Clearing my throat, I pull myself together, "you ready to go?"
"As ready as I'm gonna be."
While we're walking, I get curious, "when did you get up this morning?"
"Around 6:40, I think?"
"Oh."
"Yeah... I woke up to a bunch of texts from my brother, asking where I am. God forbid he read something as simple as a note."
Her family is truly something, and it's definitely an area I'm pretty well versed in.
"Telling me there is clearly no point in him driving me to and from school, if I'm willing to walk in such cold weather."
"I have to be honest, your brother sounds like a real douche."
"He really is," she chuckles, "his girlfriend isn't much better."
We begin to get closer to the school.
"Are you okay with us going in together?"
"Huh?"
"The school. Are you okay with us going in at the same time, with your parents not wanting us together?"
"Oh, yeah. Honestly, I don't care. I mean, based on Eli's texts, he may not even pick me up after school."
"Okay..." I'm still slightly worried for her.
When we go inside, everything should feel normal, but it doesn't. I feel very out of place.
"There you are," Ryan takes me out of my thoughts.
"Hey."
He looks between Bella and I, "what- I mean-" his head cocks as he points between us, before cutting himself off.
"We'll talk about it later," I mouth to him, he nods.
"Guys, we should get to class before we are late," Bella is still quite quiet.
"You're right. I'll see you at lunch, Ry."
"Yup, who's locker?"
"Yours, easier for me to get to."
He laughs, "yeah, okay. I guess I'll do the walking."
I shake my head and grin at him.
"Well," he hikes his bag up, "I'll see you at my locker then," Ryan scurries down the hall.
We go into class, and unfortunately still have to sit across the room from one another.
Part of me is still struggling with all of this. It's been so many changes in so little time.
I'm barely paying attention to the class.
What's going to happen when the school day is done? With Bella? Her parents? Us? Is there even an us anymore? Will everything go back to how it was before last night? What if her parents end up getting to her, and she doesn't speak to me anymore? What if-
I get back to reality, when I realize that not only am I staring at Bella, but she's staring at me.
"Are you okay?" She mouths to me.
"Yeah," I nod. Major lie. I mouth back to her, "you?"
She just shrugs.
"Now, with the remaining forty minutes of class, go through the textbooks and answer the questions on page 67. You can work in no more than pairs, or work on your own."
I begin scanning the book for the pages, forty minutes for three pages and thirteen questions.
Bella grabs her notebook and textbook, and comes to my desk, "I hope you don't mind working with me?"
"With a smile like that? How can I pass up the opportunity?" Ugh. I have to stop myself from showing my regret after saying... THAT.
She sits and we begin working. It only takes us fifteen minutes to get through it all.
As Bella is finishing up her answer to the last question, I pull out my sketchbook and begin drawing her.
I've drawn her many times before, but this time it feels different. Like I'm drawing someone else... well, I guess I technically am.
She is much more refined now. She's been very quiet and keeping to herself even more than usual, ever since the holidays.
"What are you doing?" She looks up at me with her bronze eyes.
"Drawing you."
"Why?" She giggles.
"Because you are pretty."
The bell eventually rings, and we begin to leave the room.
"If you want to, feel free to come join Ryan and I at lunch."
"Okay, I'll probably take you up on that offer."
"Sounds good, I'll see you later."
"Yup," she's almost ready to head off, but not before I let it slip.
"I love you."
Shit. What did I just do? Why did I-
"I love you too."
Wait... what? I want to run after her, but I can't be late for class.
Sitting in class, I keep questioning what just happened.
I guess we're good...or she took pity on my sad comment.