Lost in Love

Chapter 20 - Normal... I Guess?

"What happened last night?" Ryan flops down on the floor beside me.
"When I got home from your place, Bella was on my front steps. She wanted to talk, which we did, and she explained why she hadn't been talking to me."
"Damn. I mean," he cuts himself off by taking a bite from his sandwich. "That's definitely not as bad as I thought."
"Why? What did you think?"
"I thought your parents were back."
"Oh please, a mere 3 days after New Years, they are still hungover, in god knows where, from partying."
He lets out an obnoxious fake laugh, "of course." I can see the wheels turning in his head, "so, are you guys back to being girlfriends again?"
"I'm not sure, we cuddled last night, and I accidentally said I love her on our way out of first period."
"What'd she say?"
"She said it back."
"Then she probably thinks you guys are good."
"I suppose, but I don't want to just assume."
"Are you gonna ask her?"
"I don't know, it's not a top worry of mine right now."
He grabs my pop bottle, with a cheeky smile.
"Rude," I joke at him.
"Like you've never taken one of my drinks."
"Me? Never."
We laugh.
"Doofus."
He sticks his tongue out at me.
"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late," Bella sits beside us.
"No worries," I take a silent deep breath.
It all feels so weird. Ryan knows something is up. He keeps glancing at me, with a worried look.
"Are you okay?" Bella's hand reaches to my shoulder.
Am I really that visually distraught that she has asked me if I'm okay multiple times today?
"Yeah, just... out of it, I guess."
"So, are you guys ready for finals?" I know Ryan wants everything to feel normal.
"Ish. I'm not fond of studying alone."
"Yeah, I get that."
I can hear them chatting, but I'm stuck, focused on Bella's hand, that is still on my leg.
Does she know what she's doing? Why am I tormenting myself with such annoying questions?
"Why don't the three of us get together to study, like old times?"
My eyes get wide, and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from questioning Ryan.
The look he gives me in return, immediately makes it known that he knows that may not have been the best question to ask, given the circumstances.
"I mean... maybe," suddenly Bella is the one who doesn't seem "okay."
"We should go to class," I grab my bag.
"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll see you guys at fifth."
"See ya."
Ryan begins rubbing his face, "that was a stupid thing to ask."
"Yes... yes it was," I respond immediately, mostly zoned out.
I hate not knowing what's going to happen with Bella once she gets home from school.
"Luna?"
"Hmm?" I glance to Kelly, then back at my notes, "oh, sorry, I spaced out."
She gives me a sarcastic smile, "sure, whatever. Can we just get back to work on the project?"
"Right, yeah."
When the bell for fifth period rings, I'm ready to slam my head into a wall. Kelly is so annoying. She bugs me to get to work, but doesn't do anything to help.
"One more hour, Luna," Ryan puts his arm around me walking down the hall. "Do you want to hang out after school?"
"Honestly? Not today. I'm just kind of over today."
"Okay. Just promise me you won't just go home and mope for the rest of the night."
"Yeah, sure, promise."
Am I going to keep that promise? Who knows.
At the moment, I am just completely exhausted. Emotionally, physically, mentally? All of it. Ryan will probably kill me if I don't sleep properly again tonight.
I begin to walk down the other hall.
"Where are you going? Class is this way," Ryan points beside him.
"I'm going home."
"Umm... why?"
"I'm just exhausted, and can't do our last class today."
"Oh, okay."
I glance at my phone, "you should get to class before you're late."