Lost in Love

Chapter 17 - Nothing Happened

I lay on my bed, starring at the ceiling, the mattress formed around me.
Tomorrow is the first day back. This has been the longest two weeks of my life.
I'm honestly scared to go back to school, Bella and I haven't spoke, and I still don't know why. I don't know how it will go when we see each other. I suppose I will just have to wait and see. For now, I really need to get to sleep, otherwise I'll be screwed tomorrow.
When I wake up, I'm completely exhausted, but Ryan and his mom are picking me up in half an hour, so I need to get dressed.
One thing I have really come to love is having short hair. Quick comb through, maybe some product and I am set to go.
Ryan comes to the door to get me when they arrive. We get in the car, and Mrs. Jeffery passes me a tea, which I drink at least half of before we get to school.
"Have a good day."
"You too."
Ryan nudges me, "mom wanted me to invite you to dinner tonight."
"Oh, okay, I might come. Can I let you know later?" I feel my words trail off.
"Of course, see you at lunch."
"See you."
I try to tell myself that I can't look at Bella, since it will just make it harder. Of course I don't stick to it, and immediately look in her direction.
She's sitting with her head down at her desk, I don't think she even noticed me walking into the room.
I didn't think it would hurt so much to be so close to her, and yet, feel so far. Granted, I never thought there would be a time where we were back to not acknowledging each other, other than me pining over her.
I spend the hour trying my best not to be upset. This feels like utter torture.
I miss everything we had. I miss us hanging out, and cuddling with her. I miss holding her hand, and tracing shapes on her arms. More importantly, I miss her.
The bell rings, filling me with a breath of relief. I can feel my eyes burning. I want to leave school and go home. I need to cry, but I can't. I'm gone before her, to be anywhere that isn't that room.
"How'd the morning go?"
I stare at the ground, partially wishing I could forget everything that has hurt me in the last two weeks.
"Luna?" Ryan puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Sorry, what?"
"How was your morning?"
"Oh, uhm, it was fine, I guess."
"Well, only two more hours."
"Thankfully."
Lunch was nice, Ryan knows how to cheer me up, and how to make me forget about whatever is troubling me. Luckily, he's in my last two classes, so I won't be going alone.
We're filling in notes from videos in fourth, which is fun... I suppose. Ryan turns around in his seat every once in a while and makes a weird face, which makes me smile.
"You're a dork, you know?" I chuckle as we head out of the room.
"You may have told me that a few times."
I side eye him and smirk, "you're such an ass."
"Hey, shh. There could be a teacher behind us," he tries to look like he's scolding me, but breaks and shows me a huge grin.
I glance behind us, "nope, no teachers," I lower my voice, "just a Trevor."
His nose scrunches, "I don't think that's much better."
We go into our fifth, and final class.
"Now am I am ass?" His voice is low, as he pulls out my chair.
"Yes," I smirk, sitting down, "but less of one."
He continues saying ridiculous things, which make me laugh and shake my head.
I notice Bella coming in, and my eyes follow her a bit before coming back to Ryan, continuing the conversation.
He glances at Bella then to me, "are you okay?"
I don't let myself hesitate, "yeah," I nod, "yeah, I'm good."
The bell rings to start class and we turn our attention to the board. Our teacher doesn't mess around, she gets straight into the lesson, with us all frantically trying to get it written down.
As I look up to write the next set of notes, I notice Bella watching me over her shoulder. I don't let her see that I have noticed. Obviously Ry noticed, as I feel his hand rest over my leg for a moment. I look over and slightly turn up the corner of my mouth.
It is a little harder to get through the rest of the class, but when the bell rings, Ryan and I are two of the first people out of the room.
"Do you want to come straight to my place, or do you want me to come get you later?"
"If you don't mind coming later. I wanna go home and shower, and probably change into something a bit less-" I look down at my sweats with holes and my worn out hoodie, "sad."
"Okay, I'll pick you up at five-thirty?"
"That works, thank you."
As I'm walking home, my mind goes through everything from the last few months. Our first kiss. Our dates. Every moment we spent together. And now... now it's like it didn't happen, as if it was all a dream.
I want to scream. This is awful.
Once I am home, I get straight into the shower, singing as loud as possible to drown out my thoughts.
I open my closet, finding her present on the top shelf's with some of her stuff.
With little hesitation, I grab a hoodie and sit on my couch. I glance at my phone, contemplating if I should cancel, but I know I couldn't. Besides, Ryan is pulling up. I hear honking outside, that goes until I'm out the door.
"A little obnoxious, don't you think?" I tease, getting in the passengers side.
"Not at all."
My eyes roll, as I lean on the door.
"Come on, you love me."
I grin, "do I through?"
"Yup."
"Yeah, I suppose I do."
Dinner at the Jeffery's is always so much fun. We talk and laugh, and love our time together.
I fall asleep at Ryan's, while we're on the couch.
I wake up around 2am, "Ryan?"
He groans, and turns his head up.
"Ryan, I need to go home."
"Why?" He rubs his eyes, "you know you can stay here tonight, mom won't mind."
"I know, I just," I pause. I don't have a change of clothes, or my school stuff. My phone is almost dead. None of this I can tell him, and realistically, it's more than that. "I need to be at home."
"Okay, I'll go get the keys."
"No, it's fine. I'd rather walk."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
He still gets up, and walks me to the door, "are you sure you don't want me to just drive you home?"
"I'm sure, thank you."
"Let me know when you get home."
"I will."
I walk, mostly lost in thought. My head is bowed, buried in my scarf. I'm relieved I remembered to turn my porch light on, allowing me to see my home.
"What are you doing here?" I'm worried, yet surprised.
"I need to talk to you."