fire and ice | a sapnap lore au

chapter 33

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Sapnap sat next to Cersei as they watched the small fire that he created, It was tradition now that when the sun set, he would light up a fire for her.

He noticed that she would be easily cold and despite forcing her in a hoodie of his and wrapping her cloak around her it wasn't enough.

So that night after fighting off some phantoms, they leaned on the walls of L'manburg with the small fire Sapnap had made for Cersei. They didn't really talk much outside their patrols but when they were alone it seemed as if the words were normally flowing out of their minds.

After that moment with Fundy where they both realized just how similar they were, there was an unspoken agreement to have each other's backs.

Cersei never fought mobs without Sapnap anymore and Sapnap would never patrol without her anymore. But that night Sapnap wanted to ask something that was keeping him up at night.

And after a long talk with George he was gonna do it. "You know what George just pointed out earlier." He said as he fiddled with the grass. She hummed and tilted her head as a sign that she was actually listening and was not lost in her head like she was most times.

"What we are." he said suddenly. Cersei stopped plucking the weeds and blinked. Her mouth gaped a bit as her eyebrows furrowed, she did not expect Sapnap to ask that at all. She gulped and hummed, "What?" she asked.

He sighed and looked at the sky. "George pointed out-" "Was it really George who asked?" she cut him off. Glancing at him she saw him shake his head. "No." he mumbled.

"Then don't use him as an excuse to ask me something." She simply said. Sapnap groaned, "That's not the point. You're trying to change the topic." He said.

Cersei snickered and turned to him. She raised an eyebrow at him, "Am I?" she asked. He nodded and pouted, "What are we?' he asked as he stared straight in her eyes.

He saw hesitation in her blue eyes and then she looked away. Sapnap bit his lip, stoping himself from scoffing. "I don't- Why all of the sudden you ask this?" she asked back.

He shook his head, "Because clearly we care for each other." He said. She snickered, "And what made you think that-" "Do you not?" he asked pulling her arm so she was facing him.

Cersei stared at him and her lips formed a thin line. "Do I not what?" she asked, challenging him using the raise of her eyebrow. But Spanap didn't falter, from the moments he shared with her he somewhat knew her.

Her tells in hiding something or lies. He was good in spotting in those kind of things. And it surprised him that he could see through her tells. But he did.

"Not care about me?' he asked. Cersei stared at him not uttering a word. In her head, the more words said, the weaker she'll be. The more words said the more she was opening up to him and as much as she was starting to trust him, she didn't want to. Not yet. Not now when there was multiple past enemies coming after them. There was no time for weakness.

Sapnap snickered, "So if I were to walk in that forest, defenseless-" "I would call you stupid." She cut him off. He huffed, "What if I was taken? Would you not care? Not even a little?' he asked.

Cersei didn't blink, a sign that she didn't plan on saying anything. Sapnap frowned, "You don't care about me?" he asked. His heart in his sleeve at the moment. He shook his head and was about to stand up, "So it was just me then." He mumbled.

She clenched her jaw as she saw his shoulders sag. "What do you want me to say Sapnap?' she asked. This made him turn to look at her again. Frustration evident in his fiery brown eyes satring into her cold blue ones, "tell me you don't care." He said.

She pressed her lips into a thin line making him sicker, "You cant say anything-" "I don't want to say anything." She said. Her eyes pleading and he saw it. He blinked and he sighed. Running his fingers through his hair, pulling the bandana off, he looked back at her.

"You don't have to be scared." He said. Cersei snickered, "I am not scared." She said. Sapnap rolled his eyes, "You put up these walls because you're scared, but you need to realize, having people around you won't make you weak." He said.

Cersei stared at him with shock, her eyes blinking, her mouth agape. He saw right through her and she didn't know if she should run or stab him.

Sapnap gulped, "I'm sorry for pushing you. I just wanted to know if you cared the same way as me..." he trailed before looking at the now rising sun. "Because if it was me, I would gladly lose a life to you Cersei. Without question and I don't even know why." He whispered.

She hummed and licked her lips, she nodded and gulped. Blinking the frustrated tears and pushing past her walls, "I-" she cut herself off. Sapnap glanced at her and she was already looking at him.

"I do care. And I am scared." She said. Sapnap turned to her and nodded, a sign that he would listen so she talked. "The last time I cared, I was left behind. Alone and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to get attatched and then be alone in the end." She whispered.

His lips turned into a small smile, "Those are different people." He said. "How do I know you're not like them?" she asked, a moment of vulnerability that she finally shared with him. A moment that she usually shared with Techno or Dream but here she was now, showing it to Sapnap.

He tilted his head, "Because unlike them I know how it feels and I know it hurts. I don't want to do that to others."