Heartstopper || Nick + Charlie

Confessing to yourself.

Nick pov:
After Charlie had gone inside we spent another thirty minutes or so fishing but we didn't catch anything else, so we decided to go inside as well. Grandpa carried the fish and once we got inside showed it to grandma.

"We need to get Charlie up here to fish more often, he's a good luck charm." He said and everyone laughed. Speaking of Charlie, he wasn't in the kitchen with the rest of everyone, I wanted to go to our room to check on him but I didn't know if I should. I still don't know what I feel for him. When he was explaining his sleep problems and what's going on with his family, I felt so crushed and I wanted to make sure that he never felt that way ever again. Then we hugged and I just felt like I was on ecstasy, it was the same for when we held hands and I just don't know what to do. I've never had feelings this strong for anyone, much less a boy, I didn't even know that I liked boys until now. I decided to wait for Charlie to come out of the room himself and I sat down on the couch, pulling my phone out. I wanted to look up what bi-sexuality was since last night and I finally had time to now. I scrolled through the definition and I sat there confused, I think that was what I was? Or maybe it wasn't... I mean I'm not even sure what these feelings are yet and it could be nothing. But the way that he smiles and the way that he laughs just seems like the best thing in the world. I heard a door opened and looked over to see Charlie walking out of the room with his hand slightly clenching his phone.

"Charlie! My boy, we need to go fishing again some time soon!" My grandpa said and I just rolled my eyes playfully.

"Gramps, leave him be, we just got back from fishing." I said and he just scoffed. I saw Charlie give me a nervous glance and I furrowed my eyebrows, why was he nervous? He adverted his eyes back to the ground and I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. He was acting like how he was acting before he told me everything. Maybe I should just talk to him about it... Charlie's phone started to ring and he looked at the contact name before excusing himself back into the bedroom. I didn't want to be invasive but the way that he looked at the name had me worried, so I pretended to go to the bathroom, where I could just here what he was saying.

"Tori, really it's fine." I heard his muffled voice say, so he was talking to his sister. "You know they don't even care." I felt sadness rush through my body. He really does have a habit of thinking that know one is there for him. "Yeah, right. You know that's not true." He said and I heard his voice crack. "Alright, yes. I promise. Okay, bye." I heard him say, groan and then go quiet. I decided to just walk into the room instead of pretending like I didn't just hear that. "Oh, hey Nick." He said before turning his phone off. I didn't bother to reply, instead I just closed the door and hugged him. I felt him tense up and then hug me back and I felt that fuzzy warm feeling again.

"I'm sorry for uh... listening to your call but you seemed anxious. I'm here if you want to talk about it." I explained and he sighed before letting go of me. I almost flinched at the cold feeling but I tried to focus on him instead.

"No, it's fine. Just my sister being worried." He said before sighing. I wanted to hug him again but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I really hated seeing him upset, I wish he was happy all of the time and I want to be the one to make him happy. "How was the rest of fishing?" He asked me, changing the subject like always.

"It was alright, we didn't catch anything without our good luck charm." I said and I swear I saw him blush but maybe I was just imagining it. I kind of wished that he did blush, I wished that he actually felt the same way about me, but that just wasn't true.

"Oh, yeah? Did you take a photo of you holding the fish and upload it to Instagram yet?" He asked me in a mocking tone.

"Ha, ha. You know us jocks have feelings too?" I said in a fake sad tone and he laughed in response. His laugh sounded like music to my ears and I tried to ignore that fact but I couldn't help it.