Heartstopper || Nick + Charlie

Diary Entry

Friday, 25th April
Dear Diary,

Nick and I have been going out? Dating? Whatever you'd call it, for three days now. We obviously don't do anything in public, seeming Nick is still closeted, but we go to each others houses in the afternoon. Every afternoon for that matter. We make out, cuddle, play video games, talk about random stuff and I'm trying to teach him the drums but he is very bad. We aren't hanging out this afternoon because it's my birthday party tomorrow and he had to prepare for it. I have no clue what that's supposed to mean but I've learnt not to question Nick.

Nick is the best. He's adorable and he always listens to whatever I say, even if I'm talking about some random, boring thing that he doesn't care about, he still listens to me. Even though we only met just over a week ago, weve hung out enough to make it seem like weve known each other for ages. Everyday, I feel like I like him even more, which should be impossible. Nick was one of my favourite people, and I hate it. As much as I should love that, it sucked. Mainly because I don't want to get attached to Nick, anything could happen between us, I'm 14. We could have a falling out or he could stop liking me, or it could be the best thing to have happened to me. I don't know. We aren't even official or anything like that, so I don't want him to think that I'm rushing into things.

I haven't met his friends yet, and I don't think that I want to, ever. One of Nicks friends is Harry and he's a real wanker. He's the type of guy to throw stuff at people when they pass the table that they always sit at. His other friends don't seem too bad, some of them are known to be assholes as well but I've heard from Nick that he has some good friends. Nick doesn't necessarily dislike his friends but he told me that half of them can be rude at times and it pisses him off. I've ran into a few of Nicks friends, such as Sai and Omar, they don't seem too bad, they were actually polite.

Obviously, I've been hanging out with Tao and Isaac at lunch still and it's been really fun. Although Tao was not the happiest when he found out that Nick was coming to my birthday party. I think Tao just needs some time to warm up to Nick, and if he actually gives him a chance than it will go smoothly. Tao's biggest worry about Nick is that he is just as mean as his friends are but he really isn't. Nick is incredibly sweet and if Tao gives him a little bit of time to show that, they could become friends. Elle tries to calm Tao down when I mention Nick, seeming that Elle had a few classes with him before she transferred schools. She thinks that Nick seemed like a very behaved young man which sounds like a mother describing her kid. Isaac is excited to meet Nick, he's usually excited to meet anyone. Personally, I think my birthday party is going to go great. It's going to be a chance for everyone to get to know each other and bond over bowling. It may be a little awkward at first, which means that it's my job is to lighten up the mood.

My sister had been teasing me about Nick all the time now. She says that shes happy for me but she also knows Nick or his friends. 'They're a bad crowd' she keeps telling me, shes been at parties with them and apparently they are a little too wild and annoying. Mainly, Harry but also some of his other friends, which I knew about. What makes me confused is that she told me that she saw Nick doing the same thing as they were; getting drunk and causing a scene. I don't know whether or not its true, hopefully she just saw some other kid and thought it was Nick. Even if it was Nick, it was only a one time thing, right? I don't want to second guess him and I feel guilty every time I do, it's just I don't think that someone like Nick would genuinely like someone like me. He tells me all the time that he does and I need to stop overthinking things but it feels too good to be true.

Nick has been trying to get me to open up more to him, which is kind of him, but it's hard. I'm not the type of person to talk about their problems and not feel guilty and needy. It's stupid and obnoxious but whatever. Ben hasn't tried to contact me since Nick came into the equation but he glares at me when I pass him in the hall. I still cringe every time I have to see him, its lucky that he's a year older than me and doesn't have any classes with me.

Anyway, Im going to try and sleep so that I'm rested for tomorrow. It's the first time in a while where I've actually been excited for a birthday party. Lets just hope that it all goes well, we all have fun and Tao isn't too over the top with everything.

- Charlie Spring :)