♡︎ Frankie ♡︎
Barely an adult myself and already I'm considering taking care of a girl who looks to be my age who goes in and out of a child-like mindset?
My family isn't the biggest but my mother has always been one to open her home to anyone in need. One of my old friends back home was in a really abusive and dangerous environment and my mother took her in without a second thought.
The biggest difference between my mother and I is the mental and financial stability. We've never been rich per-say but we've had just enough to get by, coming very close to struggling but thankfully never getting to that point. I pride myself on being like my mother, she's such a kind and caring woman.
What if I'm terrible at this?
What if I do something wrong?
What if I traumatized her even more?
I asked Finneas to let me think about, he said I should do some research and to let him know some time tomorrow.
I put Billie to bed about an hour ago, bubble baths really do put kids to sleep. With my phone in my hand, I go to the safari and immediately get stuck at 'search'.
What do I type in?
I decide to type in 'age regression' and just like that I'm exposed to a whole new world. My interest is peaked when I come across a cute blog titled "CGL Playground". Upon clicking the site, I'm sucked in by all the cute photos of pacifiers and adorable people who could be my age or older dressed the same way Billie does.
The site makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, while reading all the information I felt like I was being read to by- you know the kind of kindergarten teachers that really love their jobs? The one's who are damn near children themselves, a ray a bubbly sunshine and rainbows? Yeah that.
The smile on my face remained as I read all about caregivers of littles/age regressors. Caregivers act as parental figures, caring for and if need be disciplining their littles just like you would a small child. It's really fascinating to learn about.
As I take all this information in, a loud cry stops my thinking causing me to basically fly out of my room. My hand flicks the light switch, the bright light making me groan. Billie is sat up on the couch, red as a tomato with a thin layer of sweat on her forehead making her thin hair stick to her face.
"What happened, munchkin?" Picking her up almost completely off of instinct.
I bounce up her and down gently hoping it'll calm her down a bit.
"You're okay, I'm here" I say in a hushed tone over and over again. "Can you tell me what's got you so upset sweetie?"
"S-scary d-dw-dweam" she sobs harder, shaking in my arms.
"It's okay, it was just a dream" that doesn't make it better.
She starts getting louder, her tears and probably drool soaking into my shirt. Quickly I look around for her green bag, looking through it for her pacifier only it's not in there.
"Shit!" I huff lowly, "Billie where is your paci?"
I frantically look all over the living room, in the couch, under the couch, the kitchen section but no luck. Realization sets in and I feel so stupid, I shamefully stroll into the bathroom to see it sitting near the sink. I rinse it quickly before heading into my room.
"Here, darling, I have your paci" I coo pulling back a little to show her.
She wipes her face roughly, "soft hands Billie. Soft, like this."
Carefully I wipe her tears, her breathing becoming steady under my touch. She puts the pacifier in her mouth and snuggles back into me.
"I don't know what I was thinking leaving you in the other room by yourself, I'm so sorry" I sigh wrapping my arms around her.
"It otay" she mumbles.
"Are you hungry sweetie?" She should be, she was too tired to eat after her bath.
"Mhmm but Biwie to sleepy to eat" she whines.
"I know but I need you to eat something first, how about a sandwich? It's quick to make so you can get to sleep faster" I suggest hoping to distract her.
She nods, I carefully place her on the bed before standing up, "I'll be right back okay? I'm gonna leave the door open."
Billie makes herself comfy on my bed, wrapping up in my queen sized navy blue comforter. I go to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator only to be stumped.
What kind of sandwich should I make her?
So I shamefully walk back into my room to ask her what she wants.
"Billie what-" I sigh loudly, "of course she's sleep" I mutter quietly skulking over to my bed after hitting the light switch.
I lay pretty close to the edge giving Billie space to stretch out and move around. Laying on my back all I can do is stare up at the ceiling and think back to al the information I read.
Billie rolls over really close to me, laying her head on my chest. A soft smile forms on my lips when I notice her slowly suckling on her pacifier. She looks so cute and at peace, her hair up in two messy space buns with loose strands laying on her face.
Picking up my phone I open the message app, sending a text to Finneas.
I'll do it.
