PERCABETH ONESHOTS

oneshot #82: comfort

i think i should rename this book to "percabeth (& estelle blofis) oneshots" because i wrote another one with her in it <3

i've been reading this wonderfully angsty fic and at 3am last night this wrote itself into my phone notes! so yay. thank fanfic writers on ao3. 

AlSO for those of you that are like 'nah i can't handle the angst today' (me sometimes), i would call this more hurt/comfort. one of my favs, and yours, too, if you have any taste. please enjoy.

tw: panic attack, brief nightmare descriptions

word count: 1.4k

///\

Percy had many favorite things in life. That's what made living so nice. He liked savoring the small stuff.

Like naps.

The dreamless ones were his favorites. He was enjoying a particularly uneventful one when his younger sister found him. She climbed up onto his bed, shimmied her way into his arms, and fell asleep with him. It should've been a good nap.

The second time he fell asleep, this time with Estelle curled up against his chest, his mind wasn't quite so merciful. 

It didn't matter what he'd seen. It didn't matter how much or how little crimson he'd laid his eyes upon, how many lifeless bodies or old friends who'd come to haunt him. It didn't matter how many times he'd had to fail to wake, how much he had to lose. He couldn't care less about the details. They didn't matter.

Estelle whined in his arms.

Percy's eyes snapped open. He'd been holding her too tightly with the arm he'd draped around her to keep her from moving around too much and potentially falling off the bed. He'd done that to protect her in the smallest way he could manage. 

He could have hurt her.

He hadn't. She was perfectly fine, peacefully sleeping again. She hadn't even woken up.

What if I'd hurt her?

He'd had total control, and she was so small. He hadn't, but he could have. 

Percy pulled her closer as gently as he possibly could, selfishly, cradling her head against him, breathing shakily into her hair. He didn't know how long he laid like that, clammy and out of control.

There was a small knock at his door. Sally peaked her head in.

Percy's eyes met hers. Can you take her? he mouthed.

Sally didn't need to know why. She scooped Estelle from his arms but hesitated to leave as he rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Percy? Are you alright?" she whispered.

Percy tried to nod, but then he couldn't really breathe correctly and his heart was pounding in a panic. He gripped at his shirt.

"I'm going to put my hand on your knee," his mom said, and she did, and Percy was thankful for the anchor to reality. His toes felt cold and his face felt warm and his hands shook, pressed into his eyes.  

"You're alright," Sally said. "You're going to be alright, Percy."

Percy did nod this time. He listened to the sound of her breathing and Estelle's breathing and pictured them matching his own, pictured a smooth, unbothered sea to calm down. 

"I'm fine," he said, but he wasn't sure if any sound actually left his mouth. "I'm fine," he tried again, releasing the pressure against his eyes when his voice worked. His palms were damp from tears he hadn't realized he'd been blocking. "Thanks, mom."