☕︎Vacancy☕︎ ~Reupload~

~17~

Caylen

Granger took us to lunch. And then we spent time hanging around all day. We went to a park and went to a mini golf course. Then we went to dinner and came back 'home'.

I shouldn't have been surprised when Fenry ran ahead of me upstairs. I rested in the den for a while before making my way up the stairs and into my room. I found him naked and bent over with his face buried in my pillows on my bed.

He was so feeble. So small and fragile but with so much stamina. He was insatiable and his body. That was another story...

I grumbled as I turned over in my bed to find emptiness, the spot long gone cold.

I hated it when he just left the room without a word, as though he were just a secret whisper slipping away into the night time after I'd fallen asleep.

Fenry had serious commitment issues since his last boyfriend had abused him, but he knew I wasn't like that and he still ran away every opportunity he got.

It hurt knowing that we had all this sex and so many conversations, knowing that I'd admitted my true feelings to him and my intentions for him and that he still didn't trust me enough to stay the night after a fit of sex.

That he was still sucked into thinking and compartmentalizing and that my actions just weren't enough to prove that to him.

And it pissed me off to no end.

I'd always been in love with Fenry despite him being a few years younger and it just hurt seeing him open himself to all of the wrong men when I was right there waiting with open arms. And now he couldn't even trust me because he'd been so mistreated.

He'd been misled by false feelings and that made him feel incapable of being truly loved, but it was so wrong.

Because I loved him. And he was too young to feel so dejected and unloved. And I cared for him. I was there. I wanted to be with him every step of the way, hold his hand. Help guide him back to recovery.

But he was left to his own mind and I was left to mine as I brought his pillow to my face and let the scent of his shampoo help me fall back asleep.

♡○♡○♡○♡○♡○♡

Fenry was ignoring me and I could think of no reason as to why.

Had I been too rough with him last night? Was he feeling doubtful again?

He was hard to get to really open up and it upset me that even though, I'd tried, I just wasn't enough.

That he always crawled back to Remy like he did for everything else and let him solve the problem.

Remy probably told him to stay away from me. I clenched my fists and sighed.

I just wanted Fenry to know that I was genuine and that I wasn't just using him. Of course, the sex was great. But I wanted more than just his body. I wanted his everything and he wasn't willing to give it to me.

To open up and let me hold him, comfort him, let me console him.

I want him to love me like I've been trying to love him all this time.

But in the end, just like everything in life. We wouldn't last.

He'd only keep pushing me away until he was certain I would just stay out of his life.

And then I would be alone as always.

Because at the end of the day, I wasn't using him. Fenry was only using me to date his constant need to get off without having to work on his own.

And I just let him continue to use me because I was in love with him and I would help him if he reached out for it.

God, he was annoying. Annoying to figure out. To deal with. Annoying to sleep with... 

He made me feel like a prostitute again when he'd just leave right after I'm falling asleep. Make me feel like shit because I keep letting him.

But it was foolish to think that Fenry would ever reciprocate my feelings because he was indefinitely uninterested and I was desperately clinging unto the hope that maybe that would change.

Deep down, I knew it wouldn't. But life was inevitable, and it was that bit of hope that had kept me alive these last few years.

Hope that one day, maybe, he would learn to love again and I would be the subject of his love and affection.

Or maybe I was just being stupid wishing for such a hopeless thing to become true.

💋

Just a glimpse into Caylen's mind

Hope you enjoyed this chapter

This story has been very difficult to write but I am doing my best.