Nerd

Chapter 22

~Time Skip (We skipped the whole winter, it's already spring now :D)~

I wake up. My eyes hurt because I barely slept this night. I barely sleep any nights because I worry too much. The last time I didn't worry was months ago. Before Charlie.

I grab my phone and look at the time. 5 AM. Well, I guess I can start my day. It's not like I'm gonna sleep again anyway.

I walk to my closet and look at the clothes inside it. I choose the least revealing outfit which is hard cause Charlie changed my complete style. He threw away all of my clothes and bought me all kinds of short skirts and crop tops.

My parents asked me why I had different clothes but I couldn't tell them about Charlie. It's my fault anyway, I told him I was his.

I tried to convince Charlie to buy me warm clothes for the winter but he said I could borrow his hoodies by then. I wish I could wear a hoodie today even though it's gonna be 25 degrees.

I look at myself in the mirror. I'm not Jennifer anymore. I'm Jenn, a Nerd, Charlie's property. I try to smile but my lips are not moving. I fake smile instead. My fake smile is kinda believable after all this time.

All the times I had to smile but I couldn't, I fake smiled. Now everyone believes me when I fake smile. My parents, Yas, my teachers, everyone.

I walk downstairs and I see waffles on the table. My mum probably made them, she is so sweet. I look at them and I want to grab all of them to eat them. Before I can lift my hand, I think about what Charlie said.

He said I shouldn't eat any unhealthy food anymore. I look at the waffles. I grab one of them and grab an apple. One time is not that bad, right?

I eat the apple first and then start with the waffle. After a few small bites, I throw it away. My eyes get filled with tears. I can't eat it. Charlie will notice it and will get angry.

Why can one stupid dude change my life like this?!

Why does he let me hate myself?!

I take a seat on the couch and grab my phone. I just want to do something dumb. I put on FRIENDS and watch it. I hear my parents wake up and make their way downstairs. First, my Mum walked into the living room.

"Oh, hey Jennifer," she says. "We actually wanted to talk to you before you went to school," she continues. I look at her. "About what?" My Dad walks into the room and takes a seat in his favorite chair.

"Jennifer," he starts, ignoring my question. "How is it going?" he asks. I frown. "It's going alright,"  I say. My father pulls up his eyebrows. "Everything?" he asks. I nod. "How about school?" he asks.

Shit. School. They know.

I messed up. Really bad. My notes are not okay.

"Jennifer?!" Dad asks when I'm not responding. "It's hard but it's okay," I lie. "Well, your Mum and I looked at your notes and we don't think it's 'okay'," my Dad says. "I'm sorry," I say. "I will get them up before the end of the year."

That was another lie. I feel empty. I've felt empty for the last few months. I can't do anything.

"Jennifer," my Mum starts. "We don't need to ask you all kinds of parents questions, do we?" she asks. "Parents questions?" I frown. "Like, are you on drugs? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you skipping lessons?" Mum asks.

"No, you don't have to ask that," I say. "Because all of the answers are no," I add quickly when I see my parents frowning.

Another lie. I'm getting good at this. Maybe it's part of being older. I mean, parents also lie a lot to their children. When I found out Santa Claus wasn't real, I felt like I couldn't trust any adult anymore.

I look at the time. "I have to go," I say and I grab my backpack. I walk outside, take my bike, and drive to Yas.

When we're driving to school, Yas is telling a story about what she did yesterday. Luckily, I don't want to talk about me.

"Are you okay?" Yas asks in the middle of her story. "Yeah, just didn't sleep well," I say. Yas smiles and continues with her story.

At school, I walk with Yas for as long as possible. I want to avoid Charlie as long as I can. Alex and Sam join us and Yas starts to tell her story to them too. Alex looks at me and smiles slightly.

I feel myself getting a bit stronger and I smile back. I feel two arms folding around me which forces me to turn around. Charlie smiles and kisses me. I have to kiss him back because he holds me so strongly that he could break my back with one squeeze.

He takes my hand and walks away from my friends. "Have fun, you two," Yas shouts at us and I can see her smirking. I walk away with Charlie while the tears are forming in my eyes again.

That's exactly what I'm scared about.

On our way to where Charlie's taking me, we cross Dana. "Oh, Jennifer, I have something to ask you," she says and I sigh in relief. She literally saved me and she doesn't have a clue.

I let go of Charlie who stays by my side. "Can I-" Dana starts and I think I already know what she's gonna say next. "Can I get some money, again?" she asks. There it is. I shake my head.

"You already got so much," I say. "First you have to pay me back and then I'll think about lending you more money," I state. Dana frowns angrily. "You have to give it," she says.

"Dana, I don't have it anymore, okay? I don't have any more money," I state. Dana gets angrier. "You. Have. To. Give. Me. More. Money." she threatens.

Charlie steps in. "Fuck off, you bitch," he says to Dana. I look at him with widened eyes. Dana walks away and Charlie takes my hand again.

"Now you're gonna thank me for that," he says and he takes me with him.

It will end soon...

Love, Anna <3