"Kenzo, come here please," Makena yells to me from our bedroom.
I'm playing my video game so I ignore her and continues talking to my friends through my mic.
She continues calling for me and I turn up my mic, "stop calling me bitch," I yell continuing to play the game.
"You need to get rid of her," my best friend, Jax, tells me.
"I agree," my brother says after Jax's statement.
I hear my door opening and Makena's voice closer than last time, "I just wanted to tell you I finished lunch," I mute my mic turning around in my chair, "and I told you to stop callin me," standing up she shrinks in her position.
She pisses me off when she acts like this. She knows when I tell her to leave me alone she should and if she doesn't listen it's a problem.
Grabbing her rough on her arm her body tightens and she looks up at me with begging eyes, "I'm sorry," she cries immediately regretting coming into my room.
Her sick mom stays with us so I walk over to the door dragging her with me and close and lock it.
Throwing her to the ground she backs up with her hands, and once she reaches the point she can't back up anymore I stand over her pushing one of my feet into her pregnant belly.
"I'm tired of you thinking you control what goes on in this house. I tell you what to do," I yell pushing harder into it. She tries to get up yelling, "you're hurting the baby please stop it!"
I move my foot and stump onto her stomach numerous times as she screams and tries to get up, "fuck you and that baby."
Letting her get up a grabbing her by her hair dragging her into our room, we passed her mom and her mom screamed for me to stop but I closed the door and locked it.
Throwing her into our dresser she hits it pretty hard and falls forward.
I turn her to her back and get on top of her, "why do you think you run me? Huh!"
She covers her face and apologizes frantically.
Punching the side of her head she screams in pain, "I'll teach you a lesson."
1 1/2 years later
"So Mr. Jones tell me about that night," my therapist says.
The night I beat my ex-wife half to death? I beat her every day, but that night was the day she lost our child.
I didn't care she lost it at first but recently it's been eating me up inside. The pain I put her through is something I regret.
"I was mad she kept telling me what to do so I beat her and..." my voice cracks and I try to forget what else I did to her.
She never got her justice. She never threw me in jail because no one would listen, and I used to think that was the coolest thing.
"And what did you do Mr. Jones. You know if you confess nothing would happen," she says and I look down in my lap.
Blinking my eyes a few times to prevent the tears I say, "that's a lie. If I confess you could call the police on me."
She clears her throat and writes in her notebook, "the case is already closed. You beat it, so it can't be reopened. There's something that's hurting you internally that's causing you to have the problems you do have," she says.
I don't want to confess what I did. I should've gone to jail, but I didn't.
My brain messes with me every day because of what I did and I can't take it anymore.
No one knows I did it but me and Makena.
"Mr. Jones?"
"I raped her," I cry lowly.
"And why did you do it," she asks with a sigh.
Wiping my tears with the palm of my hand I look up at her and say, "because I feel the urge to hurt women."
Every time I've hurt my past girlfriends it's because of the way my mom would treat me.
When I hit a woman I think of my mom hitting me.
When I abuse a woman I think of my mom abusing me.
It helps me cope and if I hurt I believe someone else should.
"Do you still feel those urges," Dr. Sal asks.
"No, I don't. I started dating this woman a few months ago and I've felt nothing but happiness," I lie.
I want to hurt Parisa.
I will hurt Parisa.
She did it to me when she admitted to fucking Dean.
"That's amazing Mr. Jones," she looks at her watch and says, "you did an amazing job today. I'll talk to you in a week."
Getting up I shake her hand and walks out of the office.
I wasn't supposed to fall for Parisa, but I did and she hurt me.
When she finds out who I know and what I'm expected to do to her so-called lover she's going to be hurt.
𓆩♡𓆪
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