Life's A Pain

Chapter 5

"Our next activity," Alex continued, "is our rant time. Remember to state if you want advice or just a listening ear. Who would like to go first?"

There were a few beats of silence and eventually Ashton raised his hand.

"I am open to any advice but a listening ear would also be great. My doctor is extremely against me playing hockey, because he says the risk is too great. Yes I understand why he is worried but I do not think he realizes the impact hockey has on my life. It is my only shot at getting a good scholarship for college" Ashton began his rant.

"I love hockey and it is the only thing keeping me sane. When I am on the ice is when I feel truly free. Yes, the skate rubbing hurts like hell, and the constant pain is always in the back of my mind, but at the same time it is almost like I don't have a single care in the world. It hurts me more emotionally than physically not being able to play and do what I was previously able to."

"Watching my teammates being able to skate and play without any problems hurts. Seeing teammates get injuries and quickly heal fully is like a knife in the heart as I know that I will never be able to truly be like them."

"My coach keeps treating me like I am made from ice and is not letting me practice as much as I want with the rest of the team. My strength is back. I have been going to physical therapy practically since I got my original injury. I hate that this is holding me back, and I feel like I lost a part of me that day I got injured on the ice."

"My team is starting to practice more and more and I have been trying to keep up but knowing that one wrong move can make everything 10 times worse is scary. The season starts in two weeks and I am just dying to be able to play again.

"I also will have to face the backlash at school once they see that I am not playing at the same quality I was last season. What will they think if I am hardly playing cause my coach doesn't want me hurting any more than I am, and he knows overuse can cause pain flares. I don't want to let my school down and I am dreading the reactions of the school," Ashton finally finished.

The room was silent while the group took all of the information in. Kaitlyn was shocked to see the popular and confident Ashton be so vulnerable, and with that thought she had a realization. Ashton was not some popular twelfth grade hockey star, he was also a teenager who was in constant pain just like she was. 'It was humbling hearing Ashton pour his heart out especially in front of me, someone who goes to his school and someone who he has never talked to before, Kaitlyn thought awed.

It was actually Kaitlyn who broke the silence first.

"Ashton I know we have never talked in school, but I have seen you and know who you are. I have even been to the majority of your home games and have seen you play. You were great on the ice, but the most captivating things were your love of the sport, and the respect your teammates have for you."

"I can tell that that respect is not just because of your talent on the ice, but because of who you are as a person. You have given up scoring opportunities to give your teammates the chance to score," Kaitlyn began.

"There are other ways that you can be on the ice without giving the opposing team the chance to hurt you. I am sure your teammates would agree if you asked them to hold scrimmage games in which they know to be careful around your foot and leg. That still gives you the opportunity to play, but with people who care about you."

This made Ashton stop and think. His teammates loved playing and he couldn't see them turning down a scrimmage game against each other. It definitely would not be the same as playing against a truly opposing team, but it should still be fun.

"And about your fear of how our school will react, you shouldn't be scared, '' Kaitlyn continued. "Don't get me wrong Ashton, teenagers can be assholes, but these are the same teenagers who admire and look up to you. Yes you are known for your hockey skills, but you are also known for being kind to everyone. I remember my freshman year when my friend Ellie first transferred to our school. She was in the hallway having a panic attack and you were able to calm her down and help her find her class," Kaitlyn refuted.