two college sweethearts are conflicted when a delusional childhood friend comes into the picture.
"i always thought love was a facade, but when i saw that gleam of admiration in your eyes, i knew i'd just been scared of it all along."
now me and josh were walking out of the place we were at, me limping, and him holding my shoes for me as we walked to the car and got in.
the whole car ride the new kendrick album was playing as he had one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand on my thigh, my chair laid back because i was tired, and him shirtless because i was gonna eventually get cold.
i looked up at him in admiration for a second, before i spoke up. "i had such a fun time today, baby" i said before me smiled and looked at me. "i knew you would" he said as he took my hand, kissing it.
i'm gonna marry this man.
we got back to the dorm parking lot. "i think nia's sleeping and i don't wanna wake her up so, can i sleep in your dorm tonight?" i ask raspily, looking up at him with puffy eyes. he really took my voice away.
i started limping to the door to the lobby of the dorms when he lifts me up and my legs are now wrapped around his waist.
"imma carry you like this until it doesn't hurt to walk for you anymore" josh says lowly, and loud enough for me to hear. i just sat there, flustered as he held me to the elevator and up to his room.
"do you wanna shower or just change?" he asked as he set his keys on his kitchen counter.
"ill shower. you jizzed all over my torso, do you not remember?" i reply slyly as he chuckles.
"well you can shower in my bathroom. you can change in some of my clothes too" he said as i nodded, setting my phone on his bed and stripping down to shower.
i guess i'm comfortable with him seeing every inch of me because he was at the sink brushing his teeth while i was showering.
after i got out the shower, he got me some clothes to put on and i went to sleep in the guest room.
it was scarily spacious and dark, im used to sleeping in smaller rooms with the led lights on.
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(imagine it dark asl)
i got onto my phone and scrolled on there for a bit until i eventually fell asleep.
tw: domestic violence and abuse
VISIONARY "tristan, stop it!" billie says, fighting to leave tristan's chokehold, her sobbing trying to fight back. tristan still was throwing punches at her face until her nose bled. "tristan, what's wrong with you?" billie yelped as tristan yelled.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING LOOKING LIKE THIS?" he says, roughly gripping the collar of the shirt, pulling her up as her tears slipped down her bruised cheek, mixing with the drying blood on her chin.
"always dressed like some whore. now go dress in something different." tristan let her go, slapping her across the face. billie eventually freed herself and ran away for what felt like forever.
she then hid behind a picket fence as tristan's voice from the last day they talked ran in her head.
"i'm gonna get you one day for sure. you better watch out, eilish."
VISIONARY OVER
i jumped up out of my sleep, gasping and unable to breathe. and i thought i was done with dreaming about him. i couldn't breathe. it's the same shit over and over again.
i'm sobbing in this dark ass room. i know tristan's out to get me again, and i don't know how to cope or deal with it. tristan's the reason why i never believed in love anymore.
i gasp because of not being able to breathe, and my hair glued to my face because of the amount of sweat in it.
i then hear the door open and jump back, thinking it was tristan and put my hands out in defense and closed my eyes tight as reflex.
the lights open to the dim setting.
"hey, you okay?"
thank god, i thought to myself. it's just josh.
JOSH
i wake up from my sleep to hear someone sobbing.
i thought it was just la llorona or some chick crying in the dorm next to mine because of some break up.
i just lay there listening to it to hear if it would eventually die down, but then the crying voice became recognizable and i immediately sat up.
billie.
i stood up and slowly opened the door to my room and walked to the guest room, opening the door and turning the lights up to a low level.
billie, yes, is crying, but she flinched when i got in and her hands are out as if i'm about to hit her or something.
"hey, you okay?" i ask.
then i look down at the bed to see a pool of tears.
the fuck?
BILLIE
he puts my hands down and looks at me, with a questionable look on his face, me sniffling.
i look stupid as fuck rn.
"hey, hey, it's just me. what happened?"
i couldn't get myself to calm down so he just pulled me into his lap and pushed my hair out of my face and caressed my back, very gently until i calmed down. he then said quietly, "it's gonna be okay, i'm here..."
not even my own mom could help me with a panic attack this quick.
"mind you tell me what happened? or do you not wanna speak about it?" he said, kissing my forehead, ruffling my hair gently in reassurance.
i decided to speak up. "i just had a bad dream about my ex....that's all" i said as i looked up, and josh had a questionable facial expression.
"uhhh...and he, he was being kinda, u-uh- abusive" i say as my voice starts shaking, and all the events in the dream replay in my head, as my eyes swell up with tears.
"and he said he was out to get me and.....i don't want to go through the same things again.." i said as i started hyperventilating again, tears slipping out of my eyes at this point.
he kissed my tears away. "i'm sorry that all happened to you." he holds my hands, rubbing the palms of my hands with his thumbs gently, planting a kiss on one of them.
"as long as i'm here, no one can hurt you baby. i'll make sure he doesn't lay a finger on you when you're in my view, you hear that?" he says as i could do nothing but nod, because if i spoke in that moment, it would be nothing but sobbing.
he got me a glass of water and i was finished drinking it when he came back inside my room.
this is gonna be embarrassing....
"um, josh. do you wanna, maybe sleep next to me, please? keep me company?" i ask, looking down.
"of course, beautiful" he said as he closed the lights and plopped down onto the bed, pulling me by the waist to lay down and puts the blanket over the both of us.
he spooned me and kissed the back of my jawline as he whispered,
