Rule as Equals (Meant to Be My Balance #2)

Chapter 5

I wound my arms around him, fingers in his hair as his body pressed against mine, his lips trailing across my jaw, down my neck, back up to my lips, hunger in his every movement as one hand deftly worked to get me out of my kefta.

"The most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he murmured, his hand slipping from the nape of my neck to undo the other clasps of my kefta. I tugged at his own attire, whining softly, which only served to make him grin.

"Patience, my queen," he murmured, his teeth grazing the soft skin above my pulse as he spoke.

I scoffed. "Where was your patience two minutes ago because—"

Left in black lace undergarments, there was little separating us when Aleksander's hand cupped around me, his gray eyes darting up, challenging. "Say it, Alina. Go ahead." He pressed his thumb against my heat, forcing a moan out instead of the argument I had intended.

"That's what I thought," he said, moving his thumb painfully slowly. When another moan escaped, he smiled against my skin, murmuring, "Good girl. You keep making those sounds for me, moye solnyshko."

My sunshine.

My hips pressed out, eager for him in a way I hadn't been for a while. Every sense was tingling, heavy and thick with need, my body begging for his touch to the point of discomfort as I reached for him. He shook his head and held my wrists carefully in one hand, bringing my arms up above my head.

"Please, Aleksander," I begged, and he smiled, moving his hand from between my legs and replacing it with his thigh. I whimpered, desperately striving for friction but deprived of what I truly needed.

"What were you and the sobachka talking about?" he asked quietly.

"Saints, Aleksander."

"There are no Saints, only me. Now, if you want my cock inside you, you'll answer me."

My eyes were getting wet, my face pink from the all-consuming ache between my thighs. "Nothing important, please, I'll tell you every boring detail when we're done!"

He didn't speak, having said all he needed to. With a groan of frustration, I conceded.

"I was worried about the war and Nikolai said you would take care of it," I gave in and the second I finished, Aleksander pulled his thigh away and replaced the space between my legs with his cock, sinking into me with a muffled groan.

"I told you I would," he said in my ear, voice quiet and strained, but as calm and collected as he always was.

My mind was an array of fireworks, deep aches and explosive pressure. I could hardly think straight, let alone talk, and Aleksander laughed at my inability to form words, pressing kisses along my neck and jaw as he thrust in me.

"So fucking good," he murmured, brushing my hair back, his hot breath hitting my cheek. "See how nice it feels to obey me?"

A whine escaped me, my hips bucking desperately, the pressure relieved when Aleksander shifted my legs and pressed his thumb against my clit as he thrust. "I know what you need, Alina. Every inch of you. In bed and in all other matters. You only have to trust me."

And it was with those words, with that deep coiling in the pit of my stomach, that the room brightened to a blinding white as I came, feeling Aleksander tighten inside me at the same time.

He left and returned a few moments later with a warm towel, pressing a kiss against my hip, then my sore center before he wiped away any mess with his tongue, driving me to the edge a second time, then placed the soothing towel between my legs. I tugged at his hand and he laid down next to me, curling my body around his. His fingers circled my hip, my breaths still heavy and vision still blurry. Aleksander always said he liked how I was after sex—docile and well-sated. His words, not mine.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he said, stroking my hair back.

"That's what I'm worried about."

He shook his head, a slight smile playing against his lips, more pink than usual from kissing. "Always trying to be helpful, are you, Alina?"

"I'm not trying. I know I can help you... just let me. Tell me about your plans, about our army, about our people."

"You know you're my queen, Alina. You could know all of this any time you choose, and I cannot do anything to stop you." Sure. "But I'm begging you not to worry about this. You've taken too much on yourself this year, and it's showing. You have yet to turn twenty-one years old, but you act like the world is your responsibility. I'm here to mentor you, not to thrust you in the middle of a war with documents you'll struggle understanding and orders you won't know how to give. I was thrust into politics, into sacrifice, into death as a young child, and I would stab myself a thousand times if I could go back and give myself even a year more of childhood. You've grown up too fast, Alina, and I will not expedite the loss of your happiness any more than I have to."

He kissed my shoulder and I kept my eyes on the wall, my breathing heavy. Sure, he made sense, but all I really heard was that I was a useless asset.

I sat up under the pretense of taking a sip of water, but when I lied back down, it was away from Aleksander. With a heavy groan, he tugged on my arm until our shoulders touched but allowed me enough space so I wasn't pressed up against his every inch. I closed my eyes, exhausted from the sex, from my worries, from the state of our country, and I fell asleep.

I woke to the sound of my own screams and tears streaming down my face. Aleksander's hands were gripping my wrists, his concerned face hovering over mine as he said, "It's just a dream. You're okay, Alina, you're okay." But his eyes didn't express the sentiment of his words because he could see just as well as I that this wasn't a dream.

Even as my eyes flew open, I couldn't stop screaming, calling out his name. He held me tight around the waist and tried holding my head to his chest but I couldn't stop pushing against him, needing release, feeling it against my skin.

"Something's wrong, Aleksander, something's wrong," I cried, but it came out muffled in my sobs and that tingling electric feeling shot up my spine again, the press of my skin too tight around my body, my hips pushing as if I were trying to get out of my own skin.

But it wasn't just me. I could feel it like I had that day Aleksander and I stood in his tent, the world nothing but strings and particles as I looked into the making at the heart of the world. Ravka, the world, the entire universe, had shifted, and I could feel it in my bones like a string had snapped or perhaps become wound painfully tight. I curled into a ball under Aleksander's shaking body and screamed again, my voice raw.

"You need to secure the castle," I managed between pants. "We're in trouble. Something's happening and we're in trouble." My words were barely intelligible but Aleksander understood, his mouth grim with anger and frustration, an inability to help me and lack of knowledge on what was happening to me as I let out another scream into the pillow, my skin shredding.

"My powers. There's something wrong with my summoning," I cried as Aleksander called for guards to secure the castle, his hand rubbing up and down my back. The soothing gesture was barely felt, but as soon as I finished, he took my hand and I waited for the rush of power, but it didn't come.

I squeezed my eyes shut, fisting my hands in the sheets, and summoned with all my will. Light seeped from between my knuckles but it wasn't the bright flash I had intended. I squeezed my eyes and felt a gut-wrenching pain from the pit of my stomach out.

"Stop! Stop summoning!" he yelled, desperate and angry, in an emotional pain I couldn't imagine because I was too busy handling my physical one. I stared up at him, eyes wide and puffy, and down at my hands where my powers were gone. The ache was subsiding and Aleksander's painful grip on my hand was helping, but every time I reached for my powers, I felt them come to the surface, then exhaustion weighed upon me followed quickly by pain.

"Tell me what's happening," Aleksander whispered, and I swore he was crying, tears streaming down his cheeks. He made the words sound like a demand, but they were a plea. Not with me because he knew I had no clue, but with the world for putting him in this position.

"I'm sorry," I stammered, the only words before I broke into tears.

I would apologize but I gave you an apology last chapter in the form of fluff and this chapter in the form of smut so ig just deal with it now